i plotted out my walk - 2.8mi, should've taken me an hour.

TWO BLOODY HOURS!

why?

bec every man jack and his aunt had to stop me for a chat!

i have my headset on! it's white! it's really visible!

i'm walking very briskly!

i'm swinging my arms sportily!

why are you stopping me to ask if ganesh is cooking at the dominion today!? why are you stopping me to tell me about the cute thing your grandkid did!? why are you stopping me to ask what saari got from the easter bunny!?

WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ME!???

okay, if you have a dog, that's okay - dandy doesn't get much chance to play with other dogs so i can forgive that, but what do i have to do to keep everybody else off my back!?


that's one problem with being fat - there's almost an obligation to be jolly and sociable and if you don't want to talk, ppl actually get offended.

does anybody think investing in a bright yellow t-shirt with TRAINING emblazoned across front and back and a matching vest for the dog would be worth the effort?

Dear threenorns,

They are stopping you because you are stopping

You don't need t-shirts, you need to work on your personal boundaries. If you want to keep to your schedule - and you have every right in the world to do so, you've got to give those folks (and dogs) a quick wave, a big smile and don't break stride.

If they get offended, that's their issue - please don't make it your issue by taking on the responsibility for their moods. A lot of us who have weight to lose do have issues with boundaries; we want everyone to be happy and we sometimes pay a price for that. You're doing great! Keep up the good work and catch up with your 2-and-4 legged friends under different circumstances

it's difficult to do - the riverwalk and the boardwalk are narrow so it's easy to literally block the walk. on the riverwalk, i can step around them onto the grass but on the boardwalk, i'd be knee-deep in the swamp. we have a LOT of retirees here and i wouldn't want to knock someone into the swamp, y'know?

in a very small town, it doesn't take long before word gets around and next thing you know you're hearing about it from the cashier at the grocery store how you were rude to her grandmother.

and yes - i have personal boundary issues. my personal choice would be about half a mile but i've been assured that that's not correct. and ppl around here HUG - i'm not kidding - i don't even know them and they're hugging me. ganesh thinks they do it because i always get this panicked expression on my face that is apparently quite humourous and he told me i can't carry a sharp stick in my pocket to poke them when they try.

I'm glad Exhale said it already, because I read your post and wanted to reply but figured I must be just a very blunt dutch girl so decided to not reply with my advice. But here goes anyhow! haha

Give them a smile and focus your eyes on your route again. Ignore them. They have to have a VERY important question would they still wave you to a halt. It's a bit easier when you are running because you pass people faster, but you just have to time the moment you acknowledge them just about right. Don't acknowledge them until you are very close, and then turn yourself and your eyes back on the road you plan to travel.

If they think you are rude, it's their problem. Just a random park or street is not a place to meet strangers for some mandatory social time. .


Edit: I just read your response, if you worry because it's a small town, how about you nod and walk on, and as soon as they start talking apologise and say "i'm sorry, i have to keep moving or all this business is to no avail, talk to you later!" or something of that sort?

i'll give that a try - it's so hard to get this social crap right.

ganesh said i'm well thought of in town - i don't see how because i don't leave the house except to walk the dog, go to work, and hit the grocery store to buy meat for the dog. i don't hang out, i've never been to the bar in town, i've never been to any of the social events bec if i manage to hear about them, i forget.

Then why do you CARE what these folks might or might not think about you?

You're not interacting with them anyway.

bec, as i said, it's a small town and i do work at the bookshop in town. you have to be social bec if you don't, EVERYBODY hears about it.

not kidding: total strangers come up and ask how the dog's doing, how's my daughter's cough, and did my mother ever get the insurance sorted out from the house burning down.


it's totally not like living in a city - i lived in the same apt for a year in toronto and wouldn't recognize my next-door neighbours if they walked up and punched me betw the eyes. here, say hello to a random guy on the street and by noon the next day, you've had a torrid affair, broken up his marriage, and now the *******'s dumped you and the baby.

Ok, I'm sorry, I'm laughing!

I actually have to leave the dog at home when I am training! He is very very cute indeed and everybody thinks I want to be stopped in my jog and asked what breed he is! (he isn't!)

So, as someone who hates being rude, and also since it has become very important to talk to people post natural disaster...they might be reaching out for help....this is what I do.

I now train very early in the morning, I don't like getting out of bed, but once its done its not too bad. This is going to get more problematic as we go into winter, but you lot are going into summer, so you should be OK for a few months. The only other people out at 6am are either dog walking or training too. I leave the dog at home.

Then later (normally lunch time, but after work would also do) i take the dog for a walk, and we stop and talk to every man, woman dog and seagull we pass.

And I get out twice a day which has to be good!

auto

ooooh, that's a great idea!

he gets walked twice a day anyway or he eats the hosue (thank you, magrat) but i don't mind adding a third walk, since that happens more often than not anyway. i'm not kidding - he'll let me be on the computer only for "so" long before he starts making a pest of himself and i have to get up and do stuff like eat, go to the bathroom, make sure the kid's still present and accounted for (i mean the non-furry one), etc.

that's an even better idea! and i do like walking at night - it's so peaceful bec as soon as the sun sets, the town throws up the shutters like they're expecting an incoming battalion of vampires or something.

My 2 cents :

The more often they see you walk briskly, with your headphones on, and a "I am walking for exercise look" people will realise you are doing this as an exercise and not a social outing... Once in a while go out for a social walk but when they see you with your headphones and briskly walking they should know that this means do not disturb... Without being rude you can nod, smile and keep walking...I do it all the time...

it worked!!!! i did the "keep walking, nod briskly" and tapped my earphone and everybody was okay with it!

not counting the 1/2hr to let dandy romp around the swamp with 3 other dogs, 55 min walk today!

i know - it's a bit lame but these things don't come easy to me.

not kidding - i was 32yrs old before i figured out that when someone asks "how are you?" when they pass you on the sidewalk, they don't actually care. i spent a lot of time being insulted bec i'd ask "how are you?" and they'd say "fine" and keep walking leaving me thinking "fine, then, screw you too!"