I am 5'3" & 147lbs. I am determined to loose at least 25lbs. per doc orders. My DH needs to loose about 35 lbs. himself. He isn't working at it. If anything, he is eating more! He is constantly trying to literally force food oavocado plate. Although My salads include lots of protein in form of grilled chicken, eggs, avocado, etc., he insists I can't eat just a salad.
I have to be aggressive with him that I am WORKING to get healthy and that he should too. He is constantly telling me how attractive I am. That is always nice to hear, HOWEVER... I am not getting fit for HIM. My need to change is for health issues. I must eat right & excercise to maintain my good health, & prevent relapse ( cancer). So, how do you deal with a diet sabatouer?

Stay strong ! Remind him that you are under Doctor's orders. Concentrate on your own weight loss and your own good health. Men are so insecure, they may have the feeling that when you lose weight you will look good to someone else. This may be true but doesn't mean you will act on it.Stay strong !

He realizes his need to lose his extra lbs...he has high BP & cholesterol and on meds for both. I remind him that the medication isn't the silver bullet, it's also diet and excercise. He was walking with me in the am until his work schedule nixed that.
You are right about the insecurity part, too bargoo!
When he worked out of time, I lost weight almost effortlessly
I have to own up to giving in, however. I am not a very good cook and he is. I could just live on fruits, salads, guacamole.... He has to have his meat and potatoes...and the occasional pizza
Thanks!

Btw, congratulations to you bargoo!!
How did you do it and how long did it take you?

Bargoo is right - stay strong!!! You need to do this for YOU! And when you lose those unwanted lbs. and are fit and healthy, he will notice. The healthy change in YOU may inspire him to make the change he needs to make.

So stay strong and continue to do what you need to do.

I hope when he pays you the compliment you say nothing but "Thanks."

While true that is always nice to hear, and true that you are not getting fit for HIM... actually SAYING that to him can hurt feelings and/or ramp up his sabotage.

Just a plain "Thanks hon!" and let it go may serve better.

Play the broken record after 3 strikes?

If he tries to give you whatever and it is NOT appropriate for you...

1) Thanks! But I'm good.

2) Thanks! But I'm good.

3) Why are you being a food pusher? I've said thanks nicely twice already. Doc orders to lose 25 lbs for cancer management. Respect me on this.

If you give in, and are not consistent, he's going to pester to get his way. It's like a kid. Talk it out. If you enjoy his cooking, maybe Friday night is the night. Then you can be left alone temptation free the rest of the week?

If he's feeling left out maybe ask him to teach you to cook? Then you gain some skills and he feels like he's part of it.

Mostly it depends on the rest of your relationship. If things are mostly good and it is this one area, then perhaps you can compromise. If things are not good in other areas and this is like "give an inch, he takes a mile" then there's more relationship work to be done other than just learning to cope when one partner is on a diet.

GL!
A.

My boyfriend is the same way, I think mostly it's a self thing because he likes to eat out and drink wine together and it's a bummer if I won't indulge. I had a serious talk with him though about how he needed to support me in changing my eating habits and he was really receptive.

My husband isn't as motivated as I am in losing weight. He wants to loose but he hopes it will just fall off by going to the gym once or twice a week. I just hope that my motivation, willpower and success will help motivate him to do what he needs to do.

Stay strong and hopefully your strength will give him the motivation to change some of his bad eating habits.

No one can sabotage your efforts but YOU. You are in charge of what you eat. You trying to police your husband's eating is probably making him eat more to show you he is in charge of his eating.

@astrophe; I like that... "I'm good!". We have a great relationship and I think it would behoove me to let him teach me how he cooks, although I would then have to eat it..ha!

@JoJo; yes! I do hope to inspire him to get healthy also. I really don't nag. Actually, don't say much at all about his eating. He has said " just because you're on your salad kick doesn't mean I have to". Last night I made rosemary chicken, mashed potatoes and steamed asparagus for him, so he is not suffering
I will stay strong! Thanks
@lisaTcan; I know, right? Like jojo2 said, just stay strong.. I really like saying " I'm good".

@sisterfunk; thanks for that
@ quilterinVa; I hear what you are saying. I don't police His eating however, he is policing minelol!

wow - i just found a sister-in-law!

my husband is EXACTLY the same and i just had to deal with an entire wkend with all his ex-wife's relatives (her brother, his wife, and their kids) who took it personally that i didn't want to stuff my face (it's a cultural thing).

oh - and speaking of brothers-in-law, my sister's husband actually took food and *rammed* it into my mouth when i refused it! i told him "do that again, and i'll bite your hand off at the wrist".

*ouch*
with family like that, who needs...well, you know what I mean!

I know exactly how you feel! My husband also needs to lose a good amount of weight (probably 50 lbs. or more), but he's really fighting me on the health iniciative.

He gets home from work 3 hours before I do, so he usually makes dinner. He knows how closely I'm watching my calories, and he knows how hard I've been working to lose weight, but he'll still cook fried chicken, mac & cheese, and corn for dinner! Even after I explain to him why I can't eat it (I'll make a lean cuisine instead), he'll make something just as bad the next night. It's really frustrating.

I wish there were an easy way to kick our husbands into gear!!

Also, I know it's silly for me to resent him for this, but I've now lost 20 lbs. in 2 months, and he hasn't said one word to me about it. No "you look nice", or "wow, I can see you've lost weight"... nothing. :-(

@Danielle; like mentioned above, sounds like he is insecure about your getting fit. He most likely WANTS to loose but has no will power right now. If & when he does prepare something fairly light, praise him!! Maybe encourage him to take a walk with you after dinner? All the best