so all the family from the west indian side will be arriving tonight and spending the wkend.

we bought her a "day cake", a cookie-n-creme cake bec her birthday's today but the party's not till tomorrow - that's when she gets her princess castle cake, and i feel kind of bad: not only did i not eat any, i didn't want to.

looking at it physically slammed down my appetite.

my daughter is cool with it - she just chirped "more for me!" but her father is very not happy with me.

"you're not going to be like this ALL wkend are you?"

it's a reasonable question but, still.

it's not that i "want" to get off my diet and take a break and whatnot - *i do not want to*.

period.

and i fail to see why not stuffing my face is in any way insulting my daughter or bring the party down or whatever.

or is this one of those social things i'm missing?

Tough situation... Hmm...

Maybe you can offer more than one option at the party? Like a cake and also fresh fruit with light whipped topping? Then you can eat something with everyone (and thus fulfill the social aspect of eating), but you don't have to have cake. And then anyone else who wants the second dessert can have some.

Her father shouldn't fault you for wanting to eat healthier. I never eat cake because I don't like it, but I've been presented with many birthday cakes during my life.

Even for my own birthday I don't eat it. Nobody ever gets angry or upset with me. You just do what you do and don't worry about his reaction.

food and celebration are not the same thing. just remember that you can be happy without it having ANYTHING to do with food.

however, if you are grumpy/grumbling about not being able to eat like you used to(which is something i do FREQUENTLY that annoys my husband), it does put a debby downer on things.

Agreed - I guarantee if you pass on the cake and still go around and socialize ans smile happily, nobody will care about if you're eating it or not.

Nah, I read a lot of guides that say to eat more on holidays, not to deprive yourself because its based on the assumption that you want to AND its a holiday. But my family never celebrated holidays so I don't associate it with food so its not special to me, so it doesn't apply to me-other events might. I think that its an individual thing-you can pick and choose what is special enough to you to eat more (if its an event where its special to spend time with fam, but not special to you food-wise, then its probably not worth going off your current eating plan), and it doesn't have to be this event-if anything, the fewer special events the more weight loss! =D

I've read here before, people have said to say this at the moment the item is being served, "I'll get some in just a bit".

Usually by the time the "just a bit" is over, the rest of the family has forgotten whether you've had any or not.

.

It's your daughters birthday, and she is cool with it, so it doesn't matter to anyone else but YOU.


GOOD JOB turning down cake... I'm not a cake person either.

i wonder if that's what it is: i *used* to be a cake person.

and a pie person.

and a doughnut person.

and an anything-with-icing person.

but since i started this diet and eliminated junk food, i don't even crave it any more. in fact, the first thought in my mind when i looked at the piece of cake he was holding out was that greasy coating it leaves in the mouth and mentally i was like "ugh - gross!" but i just said "oh - thank you, but no".

i'm making a vegetarian zucchini lasagna (some of the guests are strict hindu) and once i work out the calories, i'll probably be able to have that, plus salad and so on.

he's trying but he's not happy with the way i'm "changing everything around" even though i've told him the changes are mine and nothing to do with him - go ahead, stuff yourself on whatever you want, that's fine by me. just don't bring any home for me. well, some of it is spilling over onto our daughter who has a double whammy of "fat" genes on both sides of the family plus her father's double-reinforced genetics for T2 diabetes (both his parents died of complications from it) so i've always been hyper-strict about what she eats while he isn't happy unless he giving her pop and candy (giving treats to the child is apparently the mark of a "good" dad). that part is actually working out well - she's not obsessive about candies and chocolate bec they're not "forbidden fruit" and she usually prefers sweet peppers or berries anyway.

normally, they do all the cooking and none of it is anything i can eat - i have no way to determine the calories in home-made curry goat except i know for a fact it involves a boatload of oil.

This recipe is so good - I always add an entire head of cauliflower and use a little more of each of the spices that my West Indian best friend has even given her stamp of approval.

Stew fish is easy and can be really healthy if you just pan sear the floured fish, then put it into your sauteed onions, chopped tomatoes, etc.

Curry Goat is usually fatty because of using too much oil when browning the meat, but you don't have to use so much. Also, both Thai Kitchen and Trader Joe's make a light coconut milk to sub out. Here is a really basic recipe.

i love you.

Haha

I have tweaked probably every type of cuisine so I can eat it. I LOVE West Indian food so so so much - I hope you enjoy... Seriously, try that first one. I keep it frozen in containers for days that I don't feel like cooking during the week.