Hi, everyone.

My name's Amy. I'm 23 and weigh ... and weigh ... sorry, this is kind of hard to type because I can't quite believe it ... and weigh 300 pounds.

A little bit about me: I'm a chronic comfort eater. It all began during a period of massive upheaval in my life where I ate anything and everything to deal with the stress of what was going on, and quickly started gaining weight. I was around 14 at the time and I steadily stacked on the pounds until I arrived at this point. For the past few years I've been in serious denial; I've made a few half-hearted attempts to lose, a couple of serious ones, but so far nothing has stuck. I'll lose around fifteen pounds or so and then give up, subsequently gaining even more weight. I have PCOS, which I know is a serious contributor to weight gain, but in PCOS's defense, I do eat a lot of crap and exercise very little.

I have very low self-confidence and a mild case of agoraphobia. I've been unemployed for the last few years, unable to face the world at all, and have instead camped out inside my house eating and feeling sorry for myself, though I've recently started a college degree. In most of my classes (well, all of them, really), I'm the fattest girl there and it's inconceivably depressing.

I honestly believe my weight is ruining my life. I've never had a meaningful relationship with a guy, have alienated all of my friends, and have difficulty leaving the house for fear the world is staring at me and sniggering (which it probably is). I feel trapped inside my own body and I don't know what to do. I need help, and I need to change. I wasted my teenage years, and I don't want to spend the rest of my twenties being fat.

So. For the past couple of weeks I've been restricting calories and doing half-hour walks, but I can't really check to see if I've lost anything because my scales are not equipped to handle my body weight! I plan on buying a new set tomorrow, these with a 330 pound-capacity, so we'll just have to see. I seriously doubt I'll be impressed by the number, though.

Is there anyone out there in the same boat as me? Can any of you who've completed the journey and come out alive offer me any advice?

Thanks, guys.

Small steps, Amy. How much "over weight" are you? How overweight in comparison with a heathy BMI. Start looking at it that way, instead of saying "I weight 300 pounds. After you have lost all the weight, how much would you weight if you were "normal" size?

For instance, I weigh 265-- I should be 165 (for my height, size) and I will be within normal BMI at 180. So I can weigh between 165 (low side) and 180 (high side). That means at the least, I am 85 pounds overweight, at the most, 100.

By correcting my food intake, and doing high frequency exercise, I feel I can possibly lose 50 pounds before winter.

By putting things into logical, organized categories, things do not look so hopeless. Buying a new scale is not going to help you lose weight. Spend the money on some exercise bands, or a 25 pound barbell.

I don't even know, tbh. I had a doctor tell me when I was fifteen that I should weigh between 120 and 145 pounds. I guess that'd make me 150 pounds overweight. It's such a long road ahead but I'm going to take it 20 pounds at a time.

I know having a scale won't help me to lose weight but it'll at least help me to track it. My biggest issue is exercise and alcohol, so both of those need to be addressed before anything changes.

Thanks for your reply!

Hello Amy, I've been there I'm 5'0" and my highest weight that I would look at was 272. I had a 60 inch waist, I felt hopeless, I was in a horrible marriage and very unhappy. First you have to love yourself and know that you are worth it. GET AWAY FROM THE SCALE!!!!!!!!!! It will not be your friend instead get a measuring tape and record you measurements every week for the first 2 weeks then do it once a month. Take it 10 lbs at a time and walk everyday or as much as you can for at least 30 mins. You can do it I did and so can you. I lost my mother in 2006 that broke me so bad but sweetie even through all of my pain I knew there was a brighter day and there is also one for you too. Amy your going to have to want weight loss your going to have to want it more than anything else that you have ever wanted in your whole life. It's up to you sweetie I hope this helps.

Thank you for your words of encouragement!

I know that I need to start being kinder to myself, but I'm not sure where to start. I've hated myself for so long because of my weight; I don't even know how to feel like a real person -- I've always felt so disconnected from my body. And I agree that the scales are a bad idea. They can be very inaccurate and disheartening. I'll pick up a measuring tape tomorrow, but where would I buy one?

I am only 4 years older than you and I too am over 300lbs.
Realizing you have a problem was your 1st step. You are already attempting change. You said you already started restricting your calories and exercising, that is great.

I think getting a scale would be a good idea, I like to see how much I am losing it helps keep me on track and motivated.

How tall are you??

I think taking it 20lbs at a time is a good idea too. That is how I will be going after I get to my first goal of being under 300.

Is it a long road ahead? Yes. Do you have alot to lose? Yes. But it is well worth it.

I keep telling myself over and over again. Do I really want food to have so much power over me? Is that reeces that I want to eat so bad worth me feeling guilty and miserable? I dont want food to have control over me. I want to have the control over the food. I want to have control over my own life.

"You are entirely up to you. Make your body. Make your life. Make yourself."

Amy you can get the measuring tape from Walmart in the fabric section, or any fabric store.

Hello Amy!

I know how overwhelming it can be to see a big number on the scale, and how impossible it feels to get to a healthy weight. I know when I started my own journey I wanted to do everything I could to get the weight off as fast as possible, but if I have once piece of advice, its do focus on ONE thing at a time. It may feel like you're not doing enough, or doing things to slowly, but by making one change at a time, you can really focus on making that stick.

I had a huge list of things of habits I wanted to change including exercising more, eating less, and eating better (more veggies, less crap) but if I had tried to do everything at once, I probably would have given up. I happened to focus on limiting food intake first. I tried calorie counting (using a free app/online site) and my focus for the first month or so was recording everything I ate and staying under my daily limit. At the beginning I even wanted to reduce my daily limit because the number the app gave me seemed too large (over 2000 calories a day to lose 1lb a week) but it turns out it was really important for me to get used to any sort of calorie limit.

Now that I've been doing this since last summer, I've been able to add some of the other changes that I wanted to make at the beginning, like starting to exercise regularly and focusing on what kind of food I eat, but I still add these things in one at a time. Just pick one thing that you want to change, and that you can succeed at changing and start there (you mentioned both exercise and alcohol - either of those could be good). None of us got fat overnight and none of us are going to get healthy/thin overnight, we did one chocolate bar or beer at a time.

You CAN absolutely do this! As long as you're heading in the right direction, then no matter how slow the changes are happening, you are still succeeding. Good luck!

Amy,

Hang in there! I'm very close to 300lbs, it's a scary thing to say and admit, but it's true.

Try not to think of the number, instead look at how you feel and how your clothing starts to fit, and I agree with others that you should try to measure your body. It's depressing to see what the tape will say, but it will give you an idea of how your progress is going.

Also, try not to diet but instead make a lifestyle change. I made the decision to start living a healthier life, and if I'm losing weight than it's an extra bonus. I've done things like buying turkey sausage instead of regular, veggie burgers instead of beef etc. It's one decision at a time that adds up and will show you results.

I honestly had to work for 2 weeks (exercising daily and changing eating habbits) before I lost any weight at all. I've been going about 2 lbs per week since and I've finally hit 10 lbs lost (as of today).

It's a long road and it's hard, but that's why we all joined this site, to be able to help each other stay on track and be accountable.

What are your goals? Do you have immediate goals and long term goals? How do you plan to reach them? Will you reward yourself, if so, how?

Thank you.

Thanks so much for your advice and encouragement; I have to say, this place is awesome. I agree that a reasonably moderate approach is probably best; I've always been one of those dieters who are desperate to fix everything in a day, but I know that's not going to happen when I have so much weight to lose.

I have to focus first on cutting alcohol out of my life (for me, it's either ten drinks or nothing! And after those drinks, I'm ready to eat just about anything in sight!) and getting moving. I've always hated exercise but now that I've got a dog and an ipod, I'm starting to enjoy my walks more. Especially considering that now with my headphones plugged in, I can't hear idiot guys shouting 'FAAAAT!' out their car windows as they drive past me, and am thus able to meander on down the road, blissfully unaware.

Good luck to you, too! You seem to be doing wonderfully.

Congrats, that's so inspirational!

I want to live a healthier lifestyle, too. I've come to the realization that eating crap really does make me FEEL like crap. After a heavy, calorie-laden meal, I literally don't want to move or do anything. And pretty much all that I've been eating is ridiculously fatty and unhealthy foods -- snack foods, fried foods, sugary foods, etc. I've been on a real bender.

My immediate goal is to reach 280 pounds. I don't know how long it's been since I've been that weight. My long term goal is 200 pounds. That's all I can see right now. Imagining getting to even 190 right now seems so unattainable! As for rewarding myself, I've learned the hard way that celebrating with food or a few drinks with friends is a BAD IDEA. Food is a terrible incentive as I'm guessing it only reinforces a negative relationship with food. And alcohol, for me, just leads to excess bingeing. I think I might reward myself with a new item of clothing or something like that, but tbh, I think just seeing a change, whether on a measuring tape or scale, would be reward enough for me.

Good luck, and thank you so much for your advice!

I'm average height, around 165cms, so I'm not carrying this weight well at all. And yeah, the huge number feels very overwhelming.

I know what you mean. Food has a lot of power over me, too. I've relied on it to calm me, to soothe me, to distract me for so long that without it, I feel a little lost. But it's just not worth it anymore, especially when I think about the fact that I'm abusing a perfectly able young body with food and completely missing out on my youth. It sucks. I wish there was something I could do to wind back the clock but it's too late. All I can do is make sure I don't waste another ten years being fat and unhappy.

We're pretty much in the same boat weight-wise, so I wish you all the luck in the world reaching your goals. I think we can both do this. We're here, after all!

Take some advice from me Amy and START GETTING THE WEIGHT OFF NOW ...I was heavy all thru my twenties and have been so far in all my 30's ( I am 38 )...so many times I think to myself that I will never have my 20's back again and wish I would have lost the weight then to enjoy those wonderful years ...just go forward, dont look back ...you have A LOT to look forward too in your young life...you CAN do this ...like everyone said, small steps ...but it can be done, do it now !!!

Carri

You can do it I believe in you! It's the small steps that make a big difference. Don't get discouraged. Those half hour walks are all it takes to jump start your new life. Keep it up and all of us here are routing for you girl!

I'm going to try so hard to make sure I don't give up this time after fifteen pounds. I don't want to be fat for the next ten years and waste more time!

Good luck reaching your goals, and thank you!

Thank you so much! I've been having such a great time reading all the threads here; I think I've found my new weight loss home!