Hey everyone
I have struggled with depression for awhile now and it has always been linked in some way to my body image and how I feel about myself. All of a sudden after losing all this weight, I'm starting to hate what I see in the mirror! Has this ever happened to any of you? I haven't been this weight since before high school and I feel like I had a better body image then than I do now. It's so weird, I thought it would be the opposite!
A lot of women run into the issue of hiding behind their weight. It becomes like a comfort bubble. However, as they get smaller, they find this comfort bubble disappearing. Instead of being "the fat woman", they now become the "chubby" woman and start to get more attention but they are still over weight. When fading into the background and not getting noticed you dont tend to worry as much about your appearance. However, when you feel like people are actually starting to see you, all of a sudden you start feeling like you are being judged more and that can take a hit on the confidence level (or raise it for some people)....
Not sure if that applies to you but that could be a reason you feel less confident.
I feel more confident in general, but my hang ups have been replaced. Instead of worrying about fat, I'm worrying about loose skin, etc. It helps to think about how much healthier I am, and that I truly do look MUCH better clothed.
It's a common issue with women who lose weight. It's hard to look at yourself in an objective manner and state "I am gorgeous" when you've struggled with body image issued for a long time. Perhaps it just takes a while for you to adjust to your new shape and feel comfortable with people (men) looking at you and noticing you more. It's the same problem with people who have plastic surgery; they get whatever they thought was wrong fixed and according to objective beauty standards they become more attractive; yet they develop feelings of anxiety, lose their identity and start having doubts about whether it was a good choice to have plastic surgery in the first place.
Perhaps your self esteem issues had nothing to do with your appearance and it's something deeper than that.
Your ideas of yourself are changing. You probably didn't really LOOK at yourself before. Like REALLY look. And, you didn't try to get anyone to look at you either most likely - hiding under baggy or disguising clothes. Now with hard work you have lost weight. It didn't just 'disappear'. You changed your life around to get rid of the baggage, so of course you are more and more aware of your body. You are more and more aware of your body's flaws - not just the fat. Fat you can get rid of, so when you looked in the mirror before you thought, perhaps, "There's a beautiful body under there." And, rationally or irrationally you thought there was a perfect magazine cover under there. If you just worked hard enough, you could look fantastic!
Then, the weight comes off and you discover for the first time or rediscover body imperfections and add to that the after effect of losing a lot of weight - loose skin perhaps and stretch marks perhaps. And you can't fix body flaws and you might be more self conscious of them. No one else will probably care or notice, but you notice because it's a change. We get stuck on the 'bad' and can't see all the good despite our loved ones telling us we look great.
My advice, learn to love the new you. Learn to love your imperections because they make you, you. How boring would it be if we all looked like Heidi Klum?
I 100% relate to this.
I used to look in the mirror and love what I saw. I saw beauty in my curves and thick hips. Now, I look in the mirror with critical eyes and don't recognize this body. I find things I dont like. I find things I must change. I see "problem areas."
It's very frustrating. I typically try and find one thing I like about myself when I get critical. Or I find one area that looks vastly different.
-_- I feel you, sister. I lose weight in patterns like someone squeezing a toothpaste tube--up the legs, down the waist. Right now I'm slimming down and I look worse than before I lost the weight, because my legs slimming down from the ankles up makes the saddlebags look more pronounced, and losing weight from the rib cage down makes my belly fat look worse. I look all lumpy. Bleh. Have a pair of yoga pants that looked fine when I was 6 pounds heavier but now I can't wear them because my saddlebags stick out. I guess we just have to be patient, and realize that this is a transition phase and not permanent.
