I was at a friend's house the other day, and she was asking me about WW and calorie counting. (she is aware that I am working out too).

So after explaining some simple points to her, and showing her the BMI chart, she said, "You are obsessed...completely FREAKING OBSESSED! O.M.G!" and laughed. She laughed when I told her how much weight I wanted to lose "you don't need to lose that much weight!". She laughed when I told her how much I worked out.

What am I supposed to say? 'Shut it'? Instances like this make me feel even more humiliated and insecure. She probably didn't mean to come off so harsh, but if losing weight was so easy, we'd all be a size 2.


rant over.

Hmm. I don't have a very high opinion of your friend. I suggest dropping her, or if that isn't possible, keeping your weight/diet/exercise to yourself when she's around.

Life lesson: avoid toxic people.

She doesn't sound like she knows the reality of what it takes sometimes.

Next time she laughs, put it in her court.

"Are you laughing to make fun of me or what?"

Then you have your answer, and if she's uncomfortable -- then it's on the right person. She was the one being rude.

If she apologizes let it go and forgive. Sometimes people don't think.

If she doesn't... that tells you something about your friend then, doesn't it?

A.

She doesn't sound supportive, and you don't need unsupportive people like that in your life.

Please don't let her make you feel insecure. You are doing the right thing. You're looking at facts and following the "rules" for weight loss. If she thinks that's funny, then she must think doctors are funny and researchers are funny and making apple sauce is funny! I have no idea why she had this reaction. Maybe she's immature. Maybe she's not comfortable thinking about such matters that require commitment and dedication. I'd highly recommend not ever talking to her about this subject again. The thing that was so rude of her was the fact that she asked you! Ugh!

I would just say something nondefensive and lighthearted like "Yup, works for me," and then change the subject.

Freelance

Whats wrong with what you said?

"Are you trying to sound so harsh? Losing weight isn't easy--if it was, everyone would be a size 2."
I would follow up with "And honestly, yes I am focused on this right now because my health is important to me." and end it at that.

My first reaction was to say to her, "I'm not sure what part of that was funny. Can you explain?" Something to get her to qualify her response. Some people laugh when they don't know what to say.

As for the "you don't have to lose that much" comment. Take that with a grain of salt. I think we all get it. People don't have a mental picture of us at a low weight. Just say that you're going to lose until you get to a healthy BMI and leave it at that.

And to the "your obsessed" comment, I'd answer, "I better be. I'm committed to getting healthy."

Even now people comment that I look too thin. I don't. I just look different to them. When I point out that I'm 10 pounds heavier than I was when I got married, they fumble around for a logical reason. It's all relative. Even I have a hard time realizing I'm heavier than I was then because I look so much smaller than I did a year ago.

Hang in there. Toughen up. Don't take it too much to heart. You have all of us for support. You'll do this!

Lin

I don't think she said it to be mean, more like she was trying to be supportive by saying you didn't need to lose "that much". All and all she said it a bit rude by saying your obsessed......however, I get that ALL the time.

My friends and coworkers make fun of me constantly! My coworkers more, but my friends do tell me I am obsessed. I just say it's the only thing that works for me, you have to be obsessed a little to get results..it all depends on the person!

I don't really give a **** what anyone says. What pisses me off is when my overweight male coworker trys to tell me how to diet (by eating a ton of protien) and says what I am eating isn't good (I was eating vegetables...really?!). Mother****** I have done my research, a TON of research, I know what I need, and I know what works for ME! He finally shut up about it when I told him I lost 5 lbs in the last 2 weeks. (after I started dieting for real)

I love that she asked you, and you answered, and she blew it off. Sounds like someone's not ready for the truth!

the way i read it: it sounds like she's uncomfortable maybe because she wishes she had the same determination as you do.

or, if she is a perfect size 2 she might just not comprehend what it is to watch your weight/health because she never ever had to.

Your weight seems to be one of those things that people expect you to control with seeming ease. They would never say a runner who runs everyday is obsessed. Or someone who reads a book, or writes in their diary daily. But someone who is focused on weightloss is seen as obsessed?
The only people I can talk to about weightloss are others who are on the same journey. Those who need to lose weight but havn't got their motivation together to do it yet do not want to be reminded or see anyone else succeeding in what they should be, so they belittle your efforts to justify their own lack of effort. This is also true of those who don't need to lose weight but probably need to make healthier choices within their lifestyles.
I had this also with drinking, my friends put pressure on me to drink with them because it justifies their own unhealthy habits.
Those who have never been in a position where they have had to lose a large amount of weight simply do not understand the effort involved - and people tend to make fun of things they don't understand.

I don't think she said it to be mean or unsupportive in any way. Almost all women who do not need to lose weight would have responded like that. Their lives don't revolve around their BMI's, or counting points. Also, 30 pounds sounds like a lot to lose if you do not already weight over 200 (When I started, I had 30 pounds to lose and EVERYONE looked me at me like I was crazy, but that's because I didn't look like I needed to lose 30 pounds).

She just sounds like someone who has never been on the weight-loss wagon that many of us on this site are on. Don't take it offensively, just realize that she doesn't understand.

Thanks for all your replies ladies!

She is the same height as myself and more 'rounder'...so I'm just going to take it as she has never really tried to work out AND eat a healthier diet.

I'm just thankful that I don't see her that often, and hopefully the next time I see her, she will be amazed and when she asks what I did, I'll just say..."oh, nothing more than being obsessed with a new lifestyle"

So how tall are you? I read a few of your older posts since you have no profile info posted and see that you started out at 149, and you have lost 6 pounds so that would put you around 143, and you want to lose 24 more putting you at a goal weight of around 119ish. If you are more than say 5'1" maybe your friend laughed because she thinks this is a very unrealistic goal. Even if you are average height, your BMI is normal right now. Maybe she's not jealous, or any horrible thing like that, but laughed because she really thinks it's funny that you would want to get so thin...for no real health reasons.