So lately, I've been feeling a certain kind of way about a lot of things in my life, including being overweight.

I have a friend who I've known for years. A few months ago, she informed me that she was going to try and start working out since I made it look "so easy" (and honestly, I am feeling somekindaway about that comment in and of itself). So she's been on a healthy eating and workout quest for about 4 months now.

I've noticed that her "fat commentary" has gone up since she started her journey. She's even, on occasion, taken pictures of people working out in the gym when she thinks they're either fat/unattractive (or both). I think her behavior is extremely childish, mean spirited and annoying.

But it's not just her. I've noticed lately that I am really bothered when people make fun of those of us who are overweight/obese, and I don't know why. Especially when it's implied that all we do is sit and eat deep fried twinkies all day - which in my case - is very far from the truth. I work out quite a bit; try to watch what I am eating daily (yes, it's a daily struggle with me) - but I'm not a size 6, and never will be. My doctor has informed me that my bloodwork looks good and I am actually in good physical shape.

So why am I so bothered when people make fun of "fat" people?

And I put the "fat" in quotes - because often when people are making fun of "fat" people - they look like normal sized people TO ME.

Oh, I totally get that way. Like, I don't know if people who were never overweight dont get it, or people who are overweight use it as a coping mechanisim, or whatever, but.. I've actually yelled at people and given them a look, lol. A look that says 'were you raised in a BARN?!' I cant stand people in general making fun of anything, I even call my husband out on it, lol. Then I make fun of him and ask him if he likes it.

I hate it when people don't act their age, as far as maturity is concerned. It's a pet peeve of mine, lol.

Ya know, I like that approach - and I'm already quite sarcastic. Maybe I should start doing that.

You're wondering why you think your friend is an a** for <i>taking pictures of fat people at the gym</i>?

I've never been seriously fat-fat, and I find that ridiculously offensive and childish and overall a s****y thing to do.

I call people out on making fun of fat people. It's a stupid thing to do.

I also NEVER EVER understand why people who complain about fat people make fun of the fat people at the gym. WTF are they supposed to do, magically turn thin with the snap of their fingers?

If working out was truly 'so easy' everyone would be doing it but maybe her comment was more recognition of how well you've done as opposed to being condascending?

As for being bothered about making fun of 'fat' people - of course I am, much the same way I'd be bothered about making fun of someone who had a skin condition or was a really bad dresser. I don't see the humour in other people's misfortune (not exactly the right word there but you know what I mean right?). However I know that people will make fun of whatever sets you apart from everyone else (in my case it's my weight, for my sister it's acne) so if it's aimed at me I can brush it off pretty easily and that's where my perspective on it comes from. I think it's bad taste and hurtful but I don't let it hurt me.

There are people who are just naturally rude. They will always find something to critisize.

And the worst part of that is that she is mocking "fat" people while they are at the gym trying to do something about it! Does anyone else see the hypocrisy there? I've never understood that. It's a trend I've seen before. Do they even stop to think that she's actually working on it. They, on the other hand, are jerks and don't seem to be doing anything to improve themselves.

Instead of thinking "Eww, fat girl running", why aren't they thinking "Good for her!" A lot of chubby people avoid gyms for exactly this reason and sadly, it's a risk. How is that helping anyone?

I tell you, I'd rather be fat than mean. grneyedmustang, if that was my friend, I would tell her exactly that.

My 14-yo son disdains fat people (through no influence of mine). He believes they lack discipline and claims he'll never be fat in his life. I've tried to moderate his thinking, to no avail so far.

F.

it drives me nuts! My husband can be a real idiot sometime when he talks. He will make fun of a fat person, and expect me to be ok with it. I tell him "she is the same size as me" and because he doesn't see me in that light, he doesn't agree. I think it's ridiculous! He has almost completely stopped, thank goodness. I told him that even though he might not think of me as "fat"...i am much more overweight than i would like to be.

I can´t stand when people make fun of fat people. We all have our battles and food just happens to be one of them for most of us..

People can just be downright cruel. (quick example, a couple months ago I was at my Hubbys Grandmas funeral and all the family sat down to eat before the service and DH´s brother called me a fat pig at the dinner table in front of everyone. I started sobbing and screamed F:::YOU, and ran out and havent talked to him since!)

Well if you're a 'fat pig' with only 33lbs to lose there's really no hope for the rest of us is there?! I don't get where he was even going with that, was the whole table supposed to laugh and pat him on the back about it? He's a fool, and you married the better brother!

The mean spirited comments and behavior definitely bothers me. There's never any need to be unkind like that to anyone.

I think the real question should be, "Why wouldn't you feel bothered when you hear someone make fun of anyone for anything?" You're obviously a much more empathetic person than your friend, and that's a very good thing. Furthering your reaction would be that you have fallen into the category of what some would deem "fat" - so not only do you feel empathy, you've actually been there.

Would it not bother you if your friend took photos and made fun of people in wheelchairs? Or children with Down's Syndrome? Or people at burn centers who are maimed over large parts of their bodies? That's called being human.

I gotta say, making fun of overweight people seems to be the last bastion of "acceptable teasing" in this country - it's not politically correct to make fun of the mentally challenged, of the handicapped, of different ethnicities or religions, but I regularly hear the Jay Leno's of the world still making "fat" jokes and it chaps my hide.

Sounds like your friend is a frightfully under-confident individual who sincerely has to put others down in order to propel herself upwards. I think it's fantastic that you're appalled by her behavior!

I think a much more important question would be, "Are you not bothered when people make fun of people for other reasons?"

If you're bothered by people ridiculing others for any reason, simply on principle - then the "why" is simple - it's called having compassioon.

If however, you're ok with people ridiculing others, as long as it's on other topics, then your compassion is selective, and my question would be, "why doesn't it bother you when people make fun of others for (insert reason here)."

Do you have enough compassion and confidence to confront your friend on her lack of compassion? And do you have enough compassion and tactfulness to do it in a way, that isn't unnecessarily harsh and cruel.

My friends know not to ridicule anyone in my presence, because I'm going to call them on it. In a gentle, kind way - but I'm going to tell them I don't appreciate it, and that I believe that they're "better than that."