Hey!!

So I really have no cause to complain. I'm 55% to goal, I look smaller, I'm wearing smaller clothes, it's still coming off at a respectable rate. But OY VEH, I'm so OVER IT! It's not that I'm thinking I can run out and eat a 3,000 calories a meal when I reach goal or anything like that. I don't plan on doing anything differently and I know this is a lifestyle and how I have to be going forward. I'm just so over thinking about it and worrying that I STILL, after all this, won't be comfortable going out on the beach when we arrive in our beach house in June. My 'normal' weight gain is less than 60 lbs so I think my brain is saying 'Ok, we should be done now' and I'm not! Anyone going/gone through the I'm-SO-over-this phase?

When I was actively losing, no...not really, I was so thrilled about seeing the new me, it kept me motivated.

Now while maintaining, all the damned time.

When I give in to those feelings, I gain weight. So, I just white knuckle through it as much as possible.

I know what you mean... I went through these emotions not to long ago. The best comparison I can make is sophomore slump. When you commit to doing something for so long it can sometimes seem tedious, especially when you're not quite at goal. Take a little break from it if you need to. It isn't about being perfect, it's about making sure you're headed in the right direction.

For me it comes and goes. Some times I get to feeling sorry for myself, a little whiny about the constant planning and discipline. Other times I feel super strong and empowered by what my 2+ years of constant planning discipline have achieved for me.

What helps me is having found ways to achieve my goals without giving up the great pleasure I take in food. I have become even more of an avid cook than I was when I was at my fattest! I love to find new, exciting ways to prepare delicious, flavorful food that is fully on my plan. I take as much pleasure in eating now as I did when I was at my fattest, even if the things I am taking pleasure in have changed.

The last time I felt that way I gained back 68 pounds. Not worth it!

You'll look fabulous in a swimsuit by June! Are you kidding?! One thing I noticed when I finally did lose the weight is that everyone at the beach is NOT skinny. I seriously thought everyone was when I was at my heaviest. That's not the case, so don't be so hard on yourself. I'm 5'4" and I remember what I looked like at your weight and I was just starting to feel really good about myself. This is the time when your shape changes more with each 10 pounds lost.

"When I was actively losing, no...not really, I was so thrilled about seeing the new me, it kept me motivated.

Now while maintaining, all the damned time.

When I give in to those feelings, I gain weight. So, I just white knuckle through it as much as possible."

This is where I am at! Also, the sophomore slump! I get super motivated when I am actively losing, but I have hit a plateau for the last month or so, and I am getting so tired of "eating clean" and depriving myself with no results!

However,

"The last time I felt that way I gained back 68 pounds. Not worth it!"

This quote is why I am still going. I figure, maybe my body is in hibernation mode and wants to put on weight instead of shed it. So, at least I am maintaining my current weight instead of gaining!

We can do this!!

Thanks for the replies. You know what? I really suffer with self sabotage... badly! I am, and have been eating well, but having a horrid time sticking to working out. I'm doing it, but probably not as much as I should be. I wonder if this is my brain doing some sort of preemptive strike about this June goal.

The thing is, I don't ever, in my adult life, even when I was 133lbs being happy with how I looked, specifically that my legs were small enough. I have a very stereotypical Mediterranean build. I have a huge fear of failure complex so sometimes the sabotage gives me a little 'out' if I don't reach my goal. Not exercising enough is the out. Wow, epiphany. Thanks everyone!

Now... how to move forward.

I think you have it all figured out. We tend to think that "life will be perfect" if we get to goal. To keep from being disappointed that it's still just "life as we know it," maybe we don't try as hard to really get to our goal. No way to prove it if it doesn't actually happen.

You have months to go to get to June. You certainly will be lots closer to goal - if not right there - by June. One thing I've learned as I've gotten older is this - WAY fewer people are actually looking at you than you think are looking at you. And the ones who are either don't really notice or their opinions don't matter. Go to the beach and have fun. Who cares what anyone else thinks? you've done too good a job so far to stop now or to stay indoors in the summer.

Lin

You know Lin, you bring up another very good point. I think in the back of my mind, when I get to goal I run out of excuses. Excuses for not doing this or that, or not being ABLE to do this or that or WANTING to do this or that... my weight has been a great excuse at varying points of my life. It's literally a barrier and removing the barrier scares me to death. Y'all are fantastic! Thanks so much and keep it coming

I totally hear you on the excuse thing. As much as I've hated being so fat, it has been a convenient excuse for why my life didn't turn out the way I once hoped it would. I'm also really good at self-sabotage and am sort of waiting to fail, again. But maybe not this time! Maybe this time I've got better tools, better strategies for long-term success.

I'm planning to go to the beach in June myself (Cape Cod) - my goal is to be able to walk for miles, unlike the last time I was there when I was in much worse shape. I hope we both have a great time!

I am totally there right now. So sick of thinking about food 24/7. I just want to take some time off obsessing. I think I am going to save this thread and read it several times a day until I get over it, or lose a lb.

Cathi: I agree about it just taking brain space! I said to my husband last night, I think I'm just so over WORRYING about hitting my goal. I think I'm afraid if I DON'T worry, I'll lose my path. Hum...

OK here's another confession: I started this journey by giving my husband the beach house reservation and an old bathing suit of mine for our anniversary last August. We were with 'friends' one of whom looked at me and said "you're setting yourself up to fail". Now in all fairness, she probably did me a favor in one sense b/c I thought 'yea watch' but the hindrance is that I'm freaked about not hitting the goal, maybe even for that reason.

Thank you all! You have all inspired me Especially MadameZombie and Eliana:

See here http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/fyreflie24/

I did, absolutely. My fatigue hit right as my BMI left the "obese" category and I actually felt normal for a change. My weight wasn't really affecting me much anymore and I was tired of paying attention to what I was eating. Sadly, I let it get to me, went lax, and regained a chunk of weight. Working it back off now. Just remember, if you think diet fatigue is bad the first time, imagine how bad it is when you are losing the same stupid pounds over again!