Recently I have despaired of ever feeling “normal” about food. All the time, every hour of every day, I want to eat (even when I’m mostly unconscious I usually wake up at night, use the rest room and head for the kitchen before I even know I’m doing it).
It’s not a physical hunger, it’s a mental one. Or maybe it’s even a chemical one. And no amount of food is ever enough to sate it completely. Only ever when I load up on junk food (way, WAY too much of it)) does it abate for even the smallest amount of time, and even then it is a very uncomfortable feeling to be so full of junk.
But for the past two days that craving, that feeling of NEEDING to eat has been gone. I’ve gotten hungry and eaten, but even the hunger feels comfortable and almost pleasant because it’s not that awful desire for food that seems to wipe out every other thought in my head. It’s normal, natural hunger. I rarely, if ever, feel like this. And I have to say that I LOVE it. If I never felt that all-consuming desire for food again, I would be so happy.
I don’t think the cravings are done with me by a long shot. However, I will enjoy whatever time I get away from them. I don’t know what triggers tem or what cures them, though I am trying to figure it out. I suspect it may be just my body chemistry. If anyone knows anything that helps with this, I’d love to know.
I don’t think that normal people (at least, people who don’t get those food cravings all day every day) can really understand how hard it is not to eat when that hits. Often, it leads to weight gain.
Ricky Gervais recently wrote that he doesn’t feel bad making fun of obesity because eating that much is simply greed and nothing that people can’t easily control.
I disagree.
If I could easily say to myself, “Look, I’m eating more than my fair share. I need to stop,” and if that would work, I’d do it in a millisecond. But even when I’m done, even when I can’t stand the thought of eating more, I usually have the desire to do it anyway. That’s one reason why I think that food addictions are real.
Nicotine is the most addictive substance out of the commonly used drugs (it’s even more physically addictive than heroin). I wonder where food would rank on that scale.
I don’t think regular people realize that for some of us, it’s not just hunger we’re experiencing. When I’m just physically hungry, I can still direct myself away from the donuts and toward the light soups with no problem. But when I have that mental urge to eat and eat, my body and my mind crave calories and fat and sugar and block out all other thoughts and feelings, and it’s nearly debilitating in its strength sometimes. I hate it with a passion.
Honestly , if I had to choose, I would rather never enjoy a meal again (having it just be bland and whatever) than crave food like that. I feel so out of control when it happens, and I can’t focus on anything else. It’s like I became an addict at an age so young I can’t remember it. It sucks. And it’s always been this way. I just never figured it out until I hit one of these lovely, short-lived periods without it.
I wish I could get rid of it. And it’s not just carbs or sugar, since I’ve had them these past two days when I haven’t had the cravings. I don’t know what it is. Some of it is tied to decreased levels of dopamine (when I’m bored or unhappy), but sometimes things are amazing and I feel great, only the cravings are still there.
It scares me sometimes that I’ll never have a day without it. I’ve had about 4 days total without it in the past year, and it always feels amazing. I just with it was like that every day.
I don’t always binge when it hits, but it’s nearly painful to ignore the cravings when I don’t.
I’m not sure what to do about it, but I suspect something like this is the root of many failed attempts at weight loss.
Has anyone else had and conquered these cravings? If so, how did you do it?



But - could I have said NO??? 
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