Is there a of limit to achievable new year resolutions?

I seem to have a set number of things that I can be disciplined with in my life and after that, no more. No matter how well intentioned I am I will rebel. As this is rebelling against myself this doesn't make any sense to me but this is what I do.

For example, when I'm shopping carefully,cooking lots, recording everything I eat, exercising daily, and completely on top of things at work then that's the limit. I let housework slide, neglect my hobbies and pretty much any other goal that I have. I become ashamed of having visitors in the house. When my focus shifts to housework or a hobby then one of the above gets neglected. This has nothing to do with time. I have spare time still. It has to do with an inner resistance.

So I'm wondering is this simply a laziness that I'm not up to overcoming or does the human soul need some free, non order within a life? Has anyone like me overcome this or is this limit something that we have to live with?

I know this is psychological question but it is a reason why my weight fluctuates and I'm sure some others have the same experience and I'm curious to know if anyone has found a "solution" or what people think.

Another thing that I wonder about is is it natural to be disciplined at all? How much long term goals did our ancestors deal with while following herds of animals to hunt? Maybe they were living more in the moment and not stressing about the far future.Or maybe the opposite is true and living in groups of people who remind you of your goals is what is natural and what we need to keep focused and perhaps they were more disciplined than us. The most disciplined people all live in groups that I think of, soldiers or nuns for example. Is it possible to increase will power by yourself? Without becoming a stressed out hyperactive?

I think about this all the time...

I don't know if there is a limit on human discipline. I think it comes down to us wanting balance in our lives, and honestly, when we're THAT disciplined, there's not really a balance.

I feel the same way, my house is more of a mess than usual at the moment because every spare minute seems to go on exercise and better cooking. I don't really think it's a discipline thing, just that there are only so many hours and we need to use at least some of them to relax. I don't see any point in beating yourself up about it, just try and find some kind of balance.

For me it is exercising 4 evenings a week and sunday, dog walks everyday and then a day off Saturday, cleaning on a Friday night. My house isn't as perfect as I would like but it's a compramise

Ditto.

I just try to schedule things in, and I try to prep ahead as much as possible. That also makes it easier for me to relax knowing that lots of things are done.

I've read that we do have a willpower limit (which seems sort of similar). For example, if we resist doing something we know we shouldn't several times early in the day, studies show that later in the day, we'll be weaker, less able to resist. It's as if that willpower muscle gets worn out rather than built up (although, contrarily, the same article I read said that practice resisting does make us better at it over the longterm).

Your post really hit home with me because in past years, I have felt exactly the same. If I was on top of one set of things, other things would fall by the way side. This time around, though, I feel completely different. I feel as if being on top of my eating and exercise have spilled over into other areas of my life (e.g., housework & organization---which I was never great at), and I've made great improvements there. Oddly enough, one thing that changed is that I started logging my activity into a tracking app on my phone & reading more about NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis). Since learning more about that, I've made a conscious effort to move more in general, and that has resulted in me having a cleaner, neater house. (And I honestly believe it's one reason that I can eat hundreds of calories more to maintain my weight that I initially thought I would be able to).

I don't think there is a human one. But rather individual ones. There have been religious people all over the world all through history that have imposed on themselves severe lifestyles. But I don't think most people are capable of that sort of thing.

I read an article about decision fatigue a while ago which is about this. Willpower seems to be quite a complicated thing.

What a great article - thanks for posting Esofia!

It is a bit daunting to think that we must spend 3-4 hours a day refusing our desires, causing the willpower to weaken.

I suppose it would be ideal if we could somehow match up our desires with our will. Then what we desire to do would be what we wanted to do.

Having a steady, stabile or un-ambivalent Will would help us achieve our goals.

I have noticed on this site that necessary events happen in life that cause one to lose focus. Most people gain the weight back. They then repeatedly say how stupid or terrible they were for letting it happen. To an extent, I don't really believe they had a choice. If you are going through a divorce, for example, it will take up all of your energy. You literally will not have energy to count each calorie.

I guess here is where "auto-pilot" comes into play: training yourself to eat the same meals, repetitively.

I definitely agree that focus on weight loss has negative effects on other interests, activities. I'm actually pretty sure many constantly dieting women have found themselves single, simply because they need to use their energy for everything losing weight involves.

Btw, Great post!

I've read (academic) articles about this topic, there is a 'discipline' limit. You can only be focused and committed to so many tasks. For example, trying to keep a clean house or get straight A's or get a promotion at work is going to be difficult if you put all your energy into losing weight. You only have so much motivation. Unna made a good point, refusing our desires 3-4 hours a day takes a lot of effort!

I'm def. feeling this right now, I'm putting all my effort into losing my 'last 10 lbs' and I'm having a really hard time focusing on school work. If it keeps up I may have to decide to maintain for now because I'm applying to phd programs this coming fall so school really is more important!

I find that I can realize this but it takes me time. For example, in my 20's I went on and off diets, and I only tended to eat fruits & veggies regularly when I was in "dieting" mode. However, over the years, I acquired a taste for those foods, and I began to eat them even when I wasn't dieting. Now, I cannot imagine not eating fruits & veggies every day. I want them---crave them even. So, in that case, my desire matched up to my will. I would love this to happen with other good habits, but it seems to take decades with me.

Thank you for all the interesting feedback and the article.

Lin43, I'm definitely with you on how may tastes have changed over time. I'm experimenting now with refeed/cheat day concept and was missing all my vegetables and not enjoying all the high carb stuff anything like as much as I thought that I would!

Luckily enough when I have lapsed from my diet I have tended not to gain a huge amount. This is mostly due to having good habits and not changing everything I eat when I stop counting every calorie. Also I lapse no more than six months at a time. Putting on your Winter clothes and not fitting into them is a great motivator. After a break up I gave myself permission to eat a bar of chocolate every day for three months and yes it was self medicating, and I gained weight, but it helped me then. Sometimes it's important to make exceptions. If we don't ever I think that's when scary binging comes in, all or nothing type reaction.

This decision fatigue article sounds like building habits is the best way to go. If you do something everyday then you don't decide to do it, it's just what you do.

Good habits only get me so far though. Habits are brilliant when positive but it's necessary to use will power until something becomes automatic, or when beginning any new goal. But I don't want to succeed in four things. I want it all damn it!

I found that really interesting about how resisting the same task makes it more difficult to do later on. That is useful to know. So is it our willpower that's getting weaker or our resistance getting stronger?

As a contrast to this frustration with my own discipline limit I recently spent a weekend with a friend who never stops doing things and is hugely active. I realized that she was never relaxed ever. When sitting talking she couldn't stop getting up and cleaning the fireplace in the middle of the conversation and when sitting finds it difficult to listen. I stopped envying her. To never be relaxed is a cruel way to feel I think.

I may be really optimistic but I hope that there is some trick to figuring out how to make discipline easier. (without turning into ADD woman) Or to increase my limit somehow. I'm bringing in a small list of goals to friends at work today. I'm hoping that outside input will help to keep me focused. It's what I do in an emergency but it does work. It's embarrassing though. Unlike some others here I really don't have time problems. I have spare time still. Just only so much discipline.

One other point on this is that the most overweight person that I knew was also one who was doing the most with her day. This association of laziness and fat is maybe the opposite of what's true. Maybe it's this will power limit and decision fatigue thing.