Hey folks,

I have never had a numerical goal and I still don't. I have always said I will know I am there when either I am satisfied with how I look, or losing more is more work than I am able or willing to do.

I have it quite met that first criterion - close, but not quite. The second criterion, though, might be upon me.

Lately I have been having a hard time staying within my calories - mostly because of snacking or borderline binging behaviors late at night. (As I said on the daily weigh-in thread, it's not easy for me to admit that I have been struggling. But I hope that saying so out loud will be helpful to folks that are newer to the process - even someone who has been at this for more than two years and has had great success, can still struggle with overeating. )

I set my calorie target based on an approximate 500 calorie daily deficit - aiming for a pound loss per week, more or less the rate I have lost through my entire process. But with my struggles lately, I have been finding myself going over an average of a couple hundred calories per day - sometimes more, sometimes less, but always feeling bad about it for failing to meet my target.

So, I have decided to adjust my target - set a target average daily deficit of 250 calories per day, for an average loss of half a pound per week. I think this will have two positive effects for me:

1. I can eat more or less the same number of calories I am eating now, without feeling like I have had a bad day or failed to stay on plan.

2. With a little more room in my budget, I can plan to eat a little more during the day and perhaps head off those late-night munches - I can perhaps be a little more in control of those "extra" calories instead of having them come in off-plan sort of semi-binges.

I am optimistic about this approach. I am okay with my weight loss slowing down - it has over the past month or two anyhow, since keeping up the 1 pound per week average is proving to be a little more work than I seem ready to do.

Have you tried anything like this as you approached a transition to maintenance? Have you found that the amount of restriction you needed to do to achieve a low weight was harder than you were willing or able to work? How did you handle it?

I'm curious about this as well. I managed to lose 60 pounds in 6 months by counting calories and didn't have too much trouble sticking to my daily allotment of 1200-1400 day (with exercise getting me to a net of 800-1000). Lately, though, that's just not enough food for me and the urge to binge has been getting stronger. I'm trying 1400-1600 calories a day in the hopes that I can lose a pound a week on that, since I'd like to lose another 30 pounds (I think). I worry a bit that I've been spoiled by my success so far and that anything less than a 10 pounds/month loss will seem like failure - even though I know that's just not true!

I've been struggling with this somewhat too... but I have to honestly say that a bigger part of it is because my routine has been disrupted due to the holidays and even though I didn't go insane during the holidays I did have more junk than my body's used too so my body is craving more junk than usual. Do you think that could at all be an issue for you too?

If not... you say that you feel like you're close but not quite there. Do you have any estimate on how close? As in 5, 10lbs? If so why not just pick 10lbs and then look up the maintenance calories for 150lbs at your height (just as an example). Then you'd be able to eat more and eventually you'd reach it (more or less) but it would be at a slower pace and you'd be less prone to binges.

I can't remember what your workouts are like but you could also work on body recomposition. As in increase your calories buy 250 (or even up to maintenance) and then start lifting. Just a thought.

runningfromfat, I like your suggestion of looking up the maintenance calories for 150 and going from there. I'm going to take a look at that and see how much it differs from the adjustment I mentioned in my original post. I am a big believer in patience and adjustment, so perhaps I'll give it a couple of weeks or a month and then try your suggestion. I really like it.

I didn't mention my exercise in my original post because I felt I'd gone on long enough! I am already exercising quite a bit, including strength training (I love lifting heavy and I LOVE what has happened to my body and my muscles as I've reached these lowest weights of my adult life). My workout routine varies a lot week to week around other commitments, but it averages out to 5-6 hour-long workouts per week, distributed evenly between running, other cardio, and strength training. I've built up to this level over the two+ years I've been at this process - I used to be happy to get 3 workouts a week in; now I'm much happier when I get 6.

I am not willing to add more exercise at this point - even if I were able to physically, if losing more weight requires taking even more of my time than I'm already devoting to it, I'll settle for my current weight. That's part of what I mean when I say that I'll know I'm "done" losing when losing more requires more work than I'm willing to do. Does that make sense?

I think it's easier to become a little lax as we get close to goal because we don't have the "fat person" image of ourselves anymore. These last 10 pounds that I may or may not lose are no longer important to me the way 90 pounds (or 100 pounds) were last January. I quit because of baggy skin. Pure vanity. But I can't separate "vain" from "healthy" at this point. If my skin shrinks a bit, maybe I'll lose more. If it doesn't, then this is the size I'll stay. It will take way more effort to amass enough muscle to fill out my loose skin than I'm willing to give. And while 10 more pounds will put me closer to the number I'd like to see on the scale, I'll look horrible in shorts and tee shirts, so what's the point?

I think I've come to a conclusion that works for me. I've said this in other post / threads, so I apologize for repeating myself. My new approach is to eat and think like a thin person. I model my choices after ones I know my thin friends make in any given situation.

I don't stress anymore about a couple hundred extra calories. I know what I should eat and try to stay in a good range. I keep going to the gym about 5 days a week. If I gain a pound or 2 over an "event" (holiday, etc) I just work harder at food choices the next few days. This is exactly what thin people do. I had the opportunity to talk with someone I know because my office did work in her office a couple years ago. I hadn't seen her in quite a while and when we saw each other last week she commented on my weight loss. She is a very fit young woman. She specifically asked how the holidays were for staying on plan. I told her I gained just 2 pounds and she said, "I wish I had only gained 2. The extra comes off staring this week." Everyone gains weight at some point. It's what we do about it that matters.

I think that's the difference. We have to see that almost everyone struggles, not just us. We might have a slightly harder time, but we have to allow that we can mess up in the short term and then fix it immediately and be very successful in the long term.

Lastly - I now realize it's almost impossible to pick a goal that's 100 pounds or more in the future. I know how I looked at 152 pounds when I was 35 (last time I saw that number) and it isn't the same as at 60 after 25 years of being over 250 and having skin that doesn't snap back easily. You younger girls may have much better luck in that department. My only saving grace right now is that my 60 year old friends, heavy and thin, all have baggy skin, too! It's just part of getting older, so I don't look too different from any of them! But the point is that we have to allow ourselves to readjust when we get closer to goal. It took me a good month to realize I hadn't failed at my attempt to lose 100 pounds by Christmas. I hadn't quit. At the beginning of October I decided that 90 pounds was enough for now. It was still about 12 weeks until Christmas. I could have lost 10 more pounds. If a doctor told me there was compelling reason to lose 10 more pounds, I would have. We have to allow ourselves the right to change our goals. It isn't failure. It isn't quitting. It just is what it is.

Your goal of saying "not today" is a great one. We can all benefit by that approach. Every choice, every day. Good luck to all of us. We can do this with each other.

Lin

Hey folks, I thought I would revive my thread here (not that it had much life in the first place!) to report back on what I decided to do and how it's been going, now that several weeks have passed.

After I made the first post in the thread, I did bump up my daily calorie target, aiming for a roughly 250-calorie average daily deficit instead of a 500-calorie average daily deficit. Put another way, I set my calorie target to aim for an average 1/2-pound loss per week instead an average 1-pound loss per week.

It's been working really, really well. I have had a much easier time staying within my calorie target and avoiding the late-night snacking that verges on binging behavior. Just knowing that I have those couple hundred extra calories in my budget allows me to plan better and eat snacks when I need them, instead of trying to white-knuckle my way through an evening when I've already spent my budget.

And, I've seen the results on the scale as well. I started January with a bit of bloat from some overeating at the end of the year, so it's hard to say exactly how much weight I lost that month - but, just using my current low weight as a measure, at the time I started this thread my current low was 162, and now it is 159. By that measure, I am losing at pretty much the rate I expect to be, 0.5 - 1 pound per week on average.

So I'm pleased. And I guess the moral of the story is, once again, that developing patience has made all the difference to me. Really letting go of caring how long this process takes, letting go of deadlines (such as "be done with active weight loss before India trip"), and focusing on developing a plan that I can stick to for as long as it takes, has repeatedly proven to be a major key for me.

It's much better for me, to aim to lose 3 pounds a month and nail it for several months, than to aim to lose 5 pounds a month and "only" lose 3 for several months. The former feels like sustainable control. The latter skirts the edge of not being in control.