Hey all. I've come to face the fact that I need help... I need to lose weight and I'm having a hard time figuring out where to start. Currently, I'm around 350 at 5'6 and 28/30 pants size. I can't find jeans that fit anymore, so I'm into stretch pants and I just feel like crap in them... I can't wear clothes that I want to wear, that show off who I am, who I want to be... I've hid my head in the sand about my weight, just pretending it didn't exist...but that's never a cure.

So. I'm 23. I've had PCOS/Insulin Resistance since I was 13, diagnosed at 17. Was put on birth control at 15 for irregular periods, got migranes for a week, went off it, and my weight bloomed. I gained rapidly. In a year I went from a 12 to an 18. 18 to 24. Plateaued at 26 and now plateaued again at 28/30. I can't gain anymore.

I have no insurance, I still live at home due to health issues. I have Myasthenia Gravis (which is a muscular dystrophy and basically, my muscles don't work right/are weak 24/7) and don't have a job/insurance to pay for medication.

I'm unhappy with myself, bordering on hatred and I know love comes from inside, but I can't even pass a mirror without cringing. I haven't let anyone take pictures of me since I was 13. The photo album's a big blank. Worse, my siblings are both perfect, both smart and pretty/skinny, and I just feel like the black sheep of the family. I'm so tired...and things have to change. I can't do this anymore. I've never had a boyfriend, and coming into the holiday season, everyone has someone and I feel alone.

I've also realized I'm gluten intolerant and am now Gluten Free. This is a pain in the butt, because most GF foods are higher in calories. I also cannot do sugar substitutes: aspartame, splenda, etc. They give me major cramps/bowel issues. I feel like I'll never be able to lose weight, that I've got alot stacked against me...

I need to know...what sort of diet/exercise would be good for targeting PCOS/IR and MG. I'm very out of shape, plus my weak muscles make me exhausted if I even just sweep the house, so it'll have to be something I can ease into.

Any ideas? I'm at the end of my rope. Trying to have a positive outlook, but I'm scared and tired of fighting. Something has to change.

I don't know much about your medical conditions and how exercise would affect them. I know there are others out there who can't exercise. So, maybe a start for you is working on a diet? That's not where I started, though. For me it was walking. I walked a little bit at first. I was at 340+ pounds when I started. I could barely stand for more than 5 minutes without some part of my legs hurting or going numb. I had back pain and just was miserable. Walking made me feel better. I did it late at night so no one could see me. Eventually I got over that, and now I will walk whenever I feel like it.

There are tons of people going through the same thing. You are not alone, if you need support this forum tends to have a lot of it. There are some great people here. Even though I don't post very often. Reading your introduction I just felt I had to say something because I can see all of my feelings coming out. Its almost exactly how I felt.

With your PCOS and stuff I am sure I have seen a forum that has a lot of people who have that same issue. Even if my advice is miguided someone there can maybe help, or you can read it just on other posts alone.

Either way, regardless of if it helps or not, I'm glad you want to change, because I honestly think if there is a will there is a way and you WILL find it. /end cheesy lines.


<3

I have been diagnosed with PCOS as well. At my highest I was around 240. I heard from everyone "low carb! low carb!" Well. I love carbs. So I count calories. I log every single bite that I eat on myfitnesspal.com. I've been logging for about 65 days and have lost 20 lbs. I was taking cinnamon and chromium picolinolate to help with sugar/carb cravings and I am happy to say I no longer need them. I feel like I finally have a healthy relationship with food. Before all I would do was just think about food constantly. If I brought leftovers from a restaurant all I could think about was waiting to be hungry enough to eat them. I could eat pasta and bread all day every day!! But since counting calories everything has changed. I love that I have a calorie limit. And if I want to eat more, I work out and "earn" extra calories. So basically, what I'm saying is...it is possible to lose weight without doing atkins or south beach even if you are IR or have PCOS. Now that my eating is more normal I don't want just carbs all the time. I actually crave protein and fiber now over carbs. You should check out the PCOS board on here, it's really great and has a lot of people with the syndrome that can offer great advice as well.

Just a little sidenote...I'm not a doctor so I can't suggest anything for you but I will say taking cinnamon and chromium picolinolate literally stopped all my cravings for carbs and sweets. I know a lot of people with PCOS and especially IR take the combo. I definitely recommend doing research on the supplements and see if they might be right for you. I also don't have insurance but I can go to planned parenthood for free, and because PCOS involves reproduction those doctors can help.

Hang in there, it will get easier. you're making a great start just by deciding to do this! I know how you feel about the pictures. I was too embarrassed to have my pic taken for many years. It took seeing pics I was forced into on my last vacation to see how bad my weight had gotten. I worked on just my diet at first because it was the hardest part for me. The only exercising I did at first was turning on the radio and dancing around the house while I cleaned. I'm sorry I don't know about your health issues enough to suggest something specific for you. Just start slow, anything is better than nothing!

Thank you guys <33 -hugs-
laladida: For the Myasthenia Gravis, it makes your muscles less responsive to stimuli and weakens them, so every muscle, even the heart, have issues. There is medication for it; several people in my family, including my mom, grandma, and several aunts, have been diagnosed and are taking the medication, and it does help. But currently, I'm uninsured and unemployed and I've been trying for going on four years for SSI/Social Security/Medicade and I'm not 'disabled' enough. Wtf. It will just be a matter of finding light/low impact exercise I can do throughout the day (because I wouldn't be able to work out for 30 mins + with MG without collapsing lol). But I know what you mean about walking, though. I can't make it around our small block and it makes me upset, but I need to gain stamina and start small.

lucyford: I love carbs too! LOL Unfortunately, I'll lose alot of 'sweets' so to say, just because they have gluten in them (gluten's in EVERYTHINNNNG) so sugar won't be a problem, but the carbs... I went Atkins once and while it worked, I was a depressed, miserable mess. Calorie counting is more my thing too, but I have no idea how to start. I know what you mean about thinking about food constantly; the leftovers thing is totally me. I'll def look into the PCOS board and look into planned parenthood. Thank you so much! I'll look into the cinnamon and chromium picolinolate, my mom's a health nut so she probably has both!

BeachKitty: Yeah, the sad thing is, growing up, I thought I was huge...and looking back at the pics we DO have it's like omg. I was so thin back then. But thank you! I do hope to stick around on this forum and lose some weight, getting down to a healthier, slimmer me. Me, who I deserve to be, not trapped inside this body.