I am so grumpy. I am in such a bad mood. I have re-read the thread about water weight, and I totally understand that my body is 60% water and that how much water is in it totally affects how much I weigh and that weighing myself more than once a day is totally neurotic, but *it just doesn't seem to matter*...

I feel like crap. I'm not PMS'd. I just feel defeated. Like this has to go on forever. Not enthusiastic. And I know on this journey, I'm not going to feel great every day. The scale is going to affect my moods. Fitting into my jeans is going to affect my moods. But I'm sick of it.

Why can't I get some kind of life outside of this? What I mean to say is that I wish I liked my body enough in the first place so that losing weight would only be an improvement, not something to prove. There's a difference.

Instead of saying that I'll feel good once I lose the weight, I want to feel good NOW and just feel even BETTER once it's gone. I don't know how to change this attitude and I'm all up for suggestions. I try to distract myself, but I need a more all-encompassing solution. Working out does make me feel better, and I know I will feel better after working out this evening, but generally speaking, I'm in the pits about this......ugh!

(I just want to say that my ticker doesn't reflect my whole weight loss journey. I started at 165 and lost 20 pounds already and have been stuck for about a year....??)

Hi catgirl, I know how you feel. The only suggestion I can give is maybe start reading some self-help books. There are plenty of "How to Love Yourself" books on Amazon that will help your self-esteem.

Good luck!

One thing I am learning is that weight loss in itself does not make me happier. Reading the line I have just typed - even I realize I should know better than that. But oddly I have so much not going right currently that weight loss was probably the most controllable factor and I think I thought it would clear everything up.

In the end, I still have several other things stressing me out that will ultimately have to be dealt with. And it sounds like you may too.

Good luck working out tonight. Someone once told me that you should write the list of things to cheer you up when you are in a good mood so that you can access them when you are down. It was surprisingly good advice.

I know you are venting and I wish I had better wisdom for you.

Congratulations on losing the 20lbs! It's great that you've improved yourself and stayed on track.

Why is it so absolutely crucial for you to get down to 123lbs? At your height, the weight you are at does not pose as a problem. You are not obese or even overweight. If you are trying to tone up your body, that should be a part of your life, a challenge, but you should not allow weight loss to define who you are. Sometimes when something makes us feel good, we want 'more, more more' and forget that we are fine as we are.

I remember a couple of years ago when I was about 145, which at my height and with my body structure is quite slim, I thought I was the fattest person ever...these negative thoughts engulfed me and I thought "if I could only lose 20lbs! If only!". Looking back now, I was fine just the way that I was. I wasted so much of my time wanting to change something that was fine to begin with.

What I am trying to say is....it's fine to have aspirations of being even better, but enjoy yourself as you are now because there is nothing wrong with you.

Hey so this mostly happens to young adults, but I think what's happening here is that you're working for the idealize body or the number in your head and you don't know where to stop. Some people who start diets are as unhappy underweight as they were overweight. You don't hear it in success stories often, maybe because people who get to this point don't feel accomplished.

You've done an AWESOME job! You should try to work on how to be happy with your body... I do recommend pampering, some exercise (for the endorphins!), maybe eating more healthy, getting more sleep, definitely getting less caffeine.

I think you deserve more credit than you're lending yourself

The scale doesn't have to matter so much.

You can feel good now.

You can feel great every day (at least most of the time).

You can have a life outside of this.

You can love your body now.

The scale and your jeans do not have to affect your moods.


But they're all choices. Choices that are difficult to make, because to make those choices we have to "unlearn" a lot of crap that we've learned about weight loss, by wathching "almost everyone else" do it.

We're "taught" that the scale is supposed to depress us unless the numbers are dropping rapidly.

We're "taught" that the key to weight loss is self-punishment and self-hatred.

We're taught that dieting needs to be miserable - and "if it tastes good, we can't eat it."

We're taught that dieting needs to be done by sacrificing every other good thing in our lives.

We're taught that an imperfect body is a disgusting body (at least on a woman), and that if we don't look like an airbrushed, altered magazine woman, we're supposed to transform ourselves into one by self-denial, and if necessary, plastic surgery.



Essentially we're taugh a boatload of crap, and as a result, it's hard to sort through the crap and "relearn" a better way. But it's not impossible.

And we relearn what we need to, the same way we learned the crap. By seeing, hearing, reading, and telling ourselves the "right" messages, over and over and over and over again until we believe it.


In other words, talk to yourself and only tell yourself the "good stuff." Realize that you're three people. "The victim" who internalizes and believes all the "crap-nonsense" you've been taught. "The bully" who reminds the victim of all the crap, and beats her over the head with it. And "The adult/teacher" who is the guardian of the victim and the bully, who can speak to and teach both of them, and can be the "sanity" until the victim and the bully stop being the victim and the bully and start being "just you."

The secret is in talking to yourself. Whenever the "bully" starts to pick on the "victim" you make your teacher stand up and prevent the bully from bullying, and prevent the victim from being victimized.

You TELL yourself when you're being irrational. You remind yourself of what you want out of life. You remind yourself that you're entitled to it, and you decide to build the life you want. You CHOOSE the life you want. Not just by distraction, but by actively going out and making it happen. You don't wait for a life to happen to you, you go out and live the life you want - and don't listen to the bully when she says you don't deserve it, and don't listen to the victim when she tells you that it won't work out and you're just going to get hurt.

I'm not saying it's easy, but it gets easier with every time you just "talk to yourself," and remind yourself that even emotions are largely choice. The victim doesn't think so - but the bully knows so. The bully is often the one inflicting those terrible emotions (telling you that you don't deserve better, or telling you how hideous your body is). You've got to get the adult/teacher in control so that the bully and victim don't rob you of a real, rewarding, wonderful life.

Within the last few weeks I've realized that the scale doesn't really matter anymore. It only mattered because I let it matter.

Granted, the scale is still a tool to keep track of my progress, but I've moved from looking at the scale as the ONLY measure of progress and have instead come to look at how I FEEL about my body.

I know I'm never going to be completely satisfied with my body, but I'm not expecting perfection. I think this is one area where one really can't be a perfectionist, or they'll never be able to "finish" their journey. There is no such thing as a perfect body anyway—it only exists in the digital space.

It's hard to move away from such thinking, we're all obsessed with numbers and that's how we're instructed to be. Whether it be weight, clothing size or inches—we measure our progress in numbers. Maybe it's time to measure our progress in other ways, such as how we feel about ourselves or a measure of how far we've come and how we've changed our lives

thanks guys.

I went and worked out, and I feel better now. I had a hard day yesterday, and today didn't start out well but turned out okay. I agree with a lot of what you guys said, and I appreciate the comments.

I do feel the need to justify/explain my weight loss (which I don't think I should feel) and have to say that I was my goal weight. I was put on some medication (which I no longer have to take) and gained a lot of weight. I'm not comfortable in the body I'm in. I'm not doing anything rash about it. I'm doing WW and Jazzercise.

Feeling frustrated at the scale has more to do with two salty meals, a bad mood, and feeling out of control. I don't like feeling not like myself. And now, after exercising and reading people's comments, I do feel more like myself.

I do want to say that I'm not young, and not really into regular social media (like I don't have a television, so don't see actors or models or anything). I do believe that anyone's weight loss is valuable—if it's reasonable and valuable to them. There is no *one size fits all* ... I usually don't post because I wonder if people will see my comments as being as valid coming from someone who wants to lose weight within a healthy range. But this is erroneous thinking on my part... because my pov is valid.. just different...