Got this in an email and I just laughed my butt off!
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and
said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
> > ______________________
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you."
> > _______________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
> > _______________________
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
> > _______________________
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
> > _______________________
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
> > _______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor
