At the beginning of July, I decided that it was time to get serious about losing weight. I was weighing in at 200.6lbs and I wanted to get into the 190s, and hopefully the 180s. I had started the atkins diet and was doing really really well. In a month I had dropped about 10lbs and I was super excited. I was feeling better, learning how to cook better, fitting into clothes I hadn't worn in years and thought I was on the path of being healthy for good.

August came and I had jumped back up 5lbs and I started to freak out, but was able to get back down to 191.6lbs which has been my lowest weight in years. I was so anxious about getting into the 180s..but then something happened and I just stopped caring.

It seemed like everything going on around me took priority. My step daughter started back at school and the days just seemed to whiz by. I wasn't getting enough sleep and would tend to nap during the day and then realize that I had a billion things to do before I went back to sleep, which again would be really late (2-3am).

My fiance and I were suppose to get married at the beginning of September but we had to postpone it because of my father getting sick and I was devostated. We haven't set a new date yet but I know that I am self conscience about how I look constantly. My fiance wants me to be healthy and every time we have a discussion about my weight, it turns into an argument and my motivation just goes out the window. I'm stubborn about it and I'm in denial about how much I eat and I hate it when he points it out. I've become a huge b*tch lately and it's not only effecting me, but my relationship.

I need to lose 50lbs. It seems like a HUGE challenage but really it's not. It's a reasonable goal and if I take it in strides I can definitely do it. I need to stop making excuses and just do it. I've been overweight my entire life and I don't know why I haven't made the necessary changes yet. I have theories in my head of why I haven't lost weight, but when I try to justify them to myself and even others, I feel foolish.

I want to look good in anything. I want to be able to put on lingerie for my fiance and not feel embarrassed. I know losing weight will not only help me feel more confident, but also give me more energy to do things.

Here we go. No more excuses, no more turning back.

I am going to do this.

You can do anything you set your mind to. Good luck on your journey to a healthier and thinner you.

I SO believe you! Make these things your mantras and go kick a$$!

Your story seems to mirror mine with the positive start then circumstances taking priority. I too have started again, going gung ho when I wake in the morning.

You CAN and WILL do this.

Yes, you will! Go girl!

Good luck! You can do it

blah... isn't it crazy how life ALWAYS gets in the way?? that will never end, but you sound committed to not letting it get in the way of your efforts! Good luck!

thanks for the encouragement ladies
So far so good. Definitely excited to see the results!

Think positive, we are all here for you.

You sound a lot like me when I started. At first I just worked out. I didn't want to diet, and whenever my boyfriend pointed out that I was eating something unhealthy I wanted to smack him. I know time is always a huge issue, but you can fit working out into a schedule without it taking up too much time. The plan I used to get started was from Runners World. I can't post links yet, but if you google "Runners World 30 minutes running plan" you should find it. It's a plan to get you running for 30 minutes straight in 8 weeks. And it's awesome. So if that's something you're interested in doing, I would really recommend that.

Also, it's not as hard as you think it is! I have to keep telling myself that sometimes even though I've been doing this since May. Even tiny changes in your eating habits can really help if you give them time. That's the key issue - it's a marathon, not a sprint. If you weigh yourself every day you'll see how much your weight can change over the course of a week or even a few days. It's the big picture that really matters - how much did it change over a month? So don't panic. The hardest part is taking the first steps! I wish I could hug you, so here is a virtual hug! ::HUG:: I've lost 40 pounds since May, and I will tell you right now, that's more weight than I thought I would lose in a year. Something the gorgeous Chris Powell said was to divide your weight by 100, and that's how much you should lose each week to be losing weight in a healthy way. And again, I'm going to stress that it's a marathon. So if you should lose 2lbs a week, don't diet for 1 week, get on the scale, and panic because you gained a pound. It might be water weight! But also don't high-five yourself and go buy an ice cream if you lose 4lbs. :P At the end of the month look at what you did on average each week, and you'll probably be pleasantly surprised.

Okay, this is getting really long so I'm going to stop here. But reading your post is basically like reading my journal from 3 years ago, so I really wanted to post something helpful. I hope I did. If you want to PM me to talk, feel free. You can do it!!!