I am SO glad I found this forum because I really need support and can't get it in many other places. My fiance is extremely supportive of me, so that's a plus since we live together. He's been willing to change his diet along with me and he has not brought any junk or soda into the house because he knows I need to get a grip on my eating and not be tempted all the time.

Beyond him, it seems like everyone always has something negative to say when i tell them what I am doing. I decided not to tell anyone else in my life I am trying to lose weight because their immediate reaction is always to tell me I am doing wrong, or that it's not realistic, or whatever.

Example: I told my friend that I went and stocked up on healthy stuff. I said I bought strawberries, pears, low-fat yogurt, etc. His response was not to say "that's good" or "good job" or even "good luck," but "If you want to lose weight, you shouldn't eat berries because they have sugar." Putting aside the fact that berries are low-cal, full of fiber and full of nutrients, his comment ticked me off because my philosophy is that anything I can change is better than what I was doing before. I mean, really, what is better: McDonald's chicken nuggets or a cup of strawberries?

I just feel like everyone makes weight loss an all-or-nothing thing, where you're only doing well if you completely cut every gram of sugar out of your life (which would not be possible) and never eat any fat or something. I'm going to stick to 3FC for my support, recipe ideas and reinforcement.

Oh yes. Everyone's an expert these days, aren't they?

They can't just say "Oh good for you!" They have nitpick at non-issues. Oh well! I say, they'll be curious as to what your "secret" is when months from now you've lost a good deal of weight!

I love that your man sticks by you and helps to keep temptation out of the house.

As for the other people...i think they want to sounds as though they are being helpful, but a little part inside of them wants you to fail so they can feel better about themselves. And this of course, leads to us wanting to prove these people wrong and it puts pressure on us and we feel sub-human if we fail and that they were right all along.

This is why I never...ever...EVER tell anyone who is not sharing my bed that I'm on a lifestyle change. (and sometimes you don't even want to tell them ^.^ ) When they ask why I'm eating all this healthy stuff i simply say..."I'm a vegitarian." shrug at them and go back to my meal. If they are really interested I know they will sit with me and ask questions... if they expected to hear "I'm on a diet." But didn't... they will make some sort of mumbling comment and wander off. (This happens to me about 70% of the time)

No one needs to know that I'm trying to lose weight. I don't really care if they know I've slowly given up all animal meat over the past year and a half.
But...
My weight = my buissness.

Don't think about those naysayers anyways and I wouldn't take to heart anything they say, even if it sounds helpfull...do your own research...Yes berries have sugar...but it's real sugar.. not stuff boiled out of something else and them altered with chemicls and bleached and then secretly added back into something. (you could point this out to your berry friend.)

Thanks, everyone. =)

I did point out that berries have fructose, which is not the same as refined sugar and also does not cause as sharp a jump in blood glucose as other sugars. Like I said, I went from eating McDonald's and other fast food quite frequently, not to mention eating out at places like Outback Steakhouse and our favorite local pizza place all the time. Regardless of the sugar content of the berries, they are still clearly the better choice.

I must be doing at least something right. I am down 5.8 pounds since I started on 9/21. I completely cut out soda, fast food, restaurant food, baked goods, chips, pretzels, etc. I've been eating between 1,200 and 1,500 calories per day and trying to hit certain nutrition goals (e.g. exceeding the daily RDA for fiber, getting 100 percent of my omega-3s most days, etc.). I haven't had red meat since I started, although I don't plan to cut it out completely. I'm not really hungry; I'm just filling up on low-cal things like raw broccoli and cucumber slices. My "snacks" used to be things like a pint of Ben & Jerry's or half a bag of chips; now they're things like bell pepper strips with hummus and fat-free yogurt.

I have always struggled with my self-esteem, but changing the way I eat is having a positive effect. I feel like I can control my own life. So you're right; I do need to ignore the naysayers.

I agree with the posters above, you really have to be very selective on who you tell. Plus be prepared that some that you thought would be supportive, my not be so. Its great that you are doing well, and doing your own research. I find that most people are going to believe what they want whether or not they are wrong or right about weight loss and exercise. For the future I would take things people say lightly until you have verified its truth first.

I agree about not bothering to go into much detail. Now that I've lost a pretty noticeable amount (over 50 lbs now) people do ask and I give them just the very basics (very low carb and low fat plan). A couple of people have asked for more info and I do give them more details, but I definitely do not get into it unless people specifically ask.

Welcome to 3FC! I think you'll find a lot of sympathetic ears here. Most of us have heard similar comments. It's funny how we're the ones losing but everyone else is an expert!

i hope you'll stick around because there's a lot of great support here. Also, I've found I really need 3FC because sometimes I want to talk about losing obsessively and I tend to annoy other people if I do that too much in real life.