Wish I could go back to being anonymous

  • I joined OA 3 years ago and lost 90 lbs. I left about 6 months ago. I have gained about 25 lbs. over the last year - 15 of it in the last 3 months.
    I left OA because I felt that the women in my local meetings were suffocating me. I did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings and I felt pressured to go out socially with them and be friends outside of meetings, and they wanted so much to help me but I didn’t like always having to answer personal questions when I walked in the meeting door or after every meeting- So I just left.
    Now I think I need a meeting but I feel if I go back these same woman will be all over me again and If I try to tell I need space- I know that they would not react well to that.
    There are meetings outside my local area but I guess I haven’t got desperate enough to drive an hour out to go to a meeting yet. I don’t mean to offend anyone really - I just wish I could go back to being anonymous in meetings.
  • Perhaps you can find support online. Try www.intherooms.com you can find links to online and telephone meetings.
  • I'm so sorry that you're in this position. As uncomfortable as it would be for you, you might rethink your attitude towards telling the women you need some space. Remember the idea of putting principles above personalities. Recovery is much, much (a million times) more important than a few women.

    Asking for space in a kind, respectful way is setting a legitimate boundary and a huge sign of respect for yourself. I see it as you taking care of yourself and an incredibly healthy thing to do.
  • Thank you
  • I agree with Martini. I suggest you check out the meeting. You may find that some of these women may no longer be there. And if they are following the principles they wont judge. Remember the slogan "take what you need and lleave the rest"
  • I love the OA.org telephone meetings! They absolutely ROCK! Sheila
  • I feel the same way about people in my face about things---I like the telephone meetings. You can also sit there on mute the entire time if you so choose!