I have been lurking for about two weeks but I figured it was time to do an introduction. My name is Marilyn and I live out of the San Francisco Bay Area (South Bay).
Like so many people, I have always been overweight my entire life. I wouldn't blame my parents as they did not grow up in the USA and my mother always home cooked all our meals. I want to say that I steadily stayed the same weight while I lived at home. It was only when I went out to college that I really ballooned. My max weight or all time high was 210 (when I graduated from college) but I quickly lost 10 pounds once I moved to California and have been hovering in the 198 range for the better part of the last 2.5 years.
Throughout the last 2.5 years I have tried many things, the most ridiculous of them being, I spent $6k on a trainer (that got me about 5 months worth), which helped me lost fat but all I did was gain muscle, so I never dropped out of the 194 range, which quickly went back to 198 range.
I'm not sure what it was but I wanted to lose weight but maybe my mind wasn't in it. In fact, I know that's what it was. My mind hasn't been in it.
Through all the random things I tried in the last 2.5 years, I never really drastically cut my calories. I wasn't gaining weight, but I wasn't losing and on average I would eat about 2000 calories per day. I tried a support group at the gym, that also failed, mostly because I wasn't ready to accept the support at that time.
Something clicked with me about 2 months ago where, I just felt at my lowest and I slowly started to cut down calories and then three weeks ago, I started writing down everything I ate and now I try to stay at 1200 calories for the day. Although I will say that today and yesterday I ate 1400 calories. (I just had my wisdom teeth pulled so I spent 3 days at definitely under 1200 so I guess my body is trying to make it up?) Being at 1200 calories the last three weeks hasn't been hard for me. I have gone to bed hungry and have felt hunger but then I think back and really say, wow I have never really *felt* what hunger is like until now and i'm ok with the feeling.
I feel I have enough energy to work out and I am in great health (I just had my cholesterol checked and the doc said it was "excellent".) My thyroid function is also awesome. I have no enemies in losing weight except myself. And...that's what I fear, myself. I don't want to sabotage myself. I don't want to fail anymore.
In my mind I always figured that losing weight was impossible for me. It sort of felt like I was punishing myself or that I deserved to be over weight as some sort of sick punishment for other things in my life.
That's the attitude I have been working on changing now. I think I have changed it but I write it down every day as a reminder. Everything is possible and I can do anything, I am young and I can get down to 140. !
So that's my plan, I will eat 1200 calories per day until I feel I am too tired to exercise, in which case, I will add back a little until I can exercise.
I am really aiming to make a life style change this time. I want to lose this weight once and for all. I want to get down to 140. My starting weight being 197 that means I have 57 pounds to lose!
In the last two months I am down to 185 so, I guess I only have 45 more to go.
.... And that's my super long introduction. Thanks for reading.
P.S Also my weight loss has been contributed to the fact that late July I started training for my first 5k which I accomplished three weeks ago! I never ever thought in a million years that I would ever be able to run a 5K and now I have ran 2 and I am running my third this upcoming Sunday!
That has been extra motivation for me.
