Hello everyone.
I am warning you now this may be long and moany! I have a lot to get off my chest.

Well I am nearly 22 years old and I have been overweight since I can remember. I have been everything from 10lbs overweight to now where I am about 60lbs overweight. I was about 80lbs overweight in June of this year so I have lost about 20lbs but it has turned out the same way as every other time i've tried to lose weight! I have lost motivation and fear i am going to start gaining again.
Each time ive tried to lose weight i have gotten a fair way and then put it all bak on plus way more.

I feel completely hopeless and it is really making me feel down. I feel worse about myself now than i did before at 80lbs overweight. I dont feel like i look any different than i did in June. In fact, i feel like i look worse. I have no clothes that fit - I have a lot of clothes, yet wear the same sweats everyday.

I don't bother wearing make up or doing my hair nice as i feel stupid, like it is pointless cause i am still fat and gross.

I just don't know what to do. I want to lose weight but the slow progress is really getting me down. I know that healthy weight loss takes time, I just do not know how to stay motivated.

I am sorry that this is long and i am moany.I just feel so depressed and i don't know what to do.
Any advice would be wonderful and thank you for listening.

I think what you should definitely do is take a shower, put on your makeup, and get a couple of new outfits that fit. I notice on women who are even heavier than me when they make an effort into their looks that they have an air of confidence and beauty to them and I LOVE that. You need to tap into that yourself.

You have dropped 20 lbs and that's awesome!!! You need to celebrate that!! You only have 3 more 20 lbs to go before you are at goal!! And also, that is 20 lbs that you don't have attached to your body any longer. That is 80 sticks of butter and that's pretty awesome too. Every pound in the right direction is a pound you don't ever have to see again, and if you it happens to creep back, and they do occasionally, you have to just say ok, let's do something different this week and kick it to the curb before it wears out its welcome.

I used to hang around the house in sweats and my bfs boxy man tshirts. And now even when I don't feel great about my weight I make sure I wear the clothes that I DO have (and there are plenty in my closet that don't fit yet LOL) and make me feel good and fit nicely. Even if it's a nice pair of yoga pants and a girlie cut tshirt. A little eyeliner and mascara goes a long way too. Sweats make anyone feel like ****e.

You CAN do this. Go for a walk, drink some water, look at people success photos... believe in yourself!!!!

Welcome to 3FC and congratulations on losing 20 pounds

I'm going to say something you might not want to hear.

Stop. Relying. On. Motivation. Motivation is a feeling. It comes and goes. It's nice when we're feeling it, but we cannot rely on it.

Do you only brush your teeth when you "feel like it"? Do you only shower when you "feel like it"? Do you only flush the toilet when you "feel like it"? Do you only pay the bills when you "feel like it"?

You're an adult now. It's time to do things the way an adult does. That means sometimes we aren't going to feel like doing things that we have to do, and tough luck. We've gotta do them anyways.

That activity that you planned to do, but then woke up and didn't feel like getting out of bed? Oh well! Too bad, self! Get out of bed and get to it.

That pizza that your roommate put into the fridge? Oh well! Too bad, self! That food isn't on the menu for me today. I'll have the meal I planned out earlier.

/end tough love

You should actually feel good about what you've accomplished. AND feel good that you're reaching out right this very moment at a crossroads. So many people would simply give up and go back to their old habits. You, on the other hand, are looking to change that outlook and keep the weight off.

There are things you can do to remind yourself of your goals (ie writing down all the reasons you want to lose weight and reading that list every single day). However, there are bound to be times when we aren't "feeling it". When the road gets routine. When we wake up and want to throw a tantrum.

Simply put, we have to deal. The good news is that just as motivation waxes and wanes... so do times of boredom, or lethargy.

A 3FC member posted this some time ago. I bring it to mind when I'm struggling:

It will never work out if you wait to do something until you FEEL like doing it.
Feelings come FROM actions, not the other way around.
Do the thing to get the feeling.
Then remind yourself how it feels for the next time, but never rely on how you feel at the moment.

You can do this. You can work past this little bump in the road. And a month from now... two months from now, you will be THRILLED that you held out and stuck your ground!

kpenn1971 Thank you so much.. I took your advice.. I went clothes shopping for the first time in like a year. I was pretty shocked at the size I had to get lol but the only thing that matters is they fit and people have commented on the difference. My bf was particularly impressed. He is very supportive and tells me i look good whatever but even he was sick of my one disgusting outfit :P As for the doing what i've done three more times, I hadn't really looked at it like that but breaking it down does make it seem a bit more attainable. Thank you

Lovely Thank you. Sometimes tough love is good lol. I definitely do have to start looking at it as my new routine rather than something i should do when i feel like it. You are so right about that! I know it's gonna be tough but as you said Too bad!! I want to do this so I just have to lol.

Thank you both for your advice. It feels great to know people listen (or read) and care. I know I can do it this time and I will get past this bump and be glad I did as the weight drops
xx

Hi Pretty
Just about the best thing you could have done was to come here. If you want a bit more motivation than was already offered, take a look at the maintainers' posts. It is amazing how uplifting it can be to see their journey!

I am several decades older than you and I've danced your dance since I was 14. The difference is, we know SO much more now and we have sites such as these to help us reach and maintain our ideal physical and even emotional states. A twenty pound loss is a great accomplishment but yes...sometimes we can become bored, discouraged, dejected by the road ahead. Look at it this way though: you have LOST 20 pounds instead of GAINING 20 and what a great effort that is, compared to the ease of gaining! Your system may be adjusting to that loss. It sounds as if your post has given you the incentive to move ahead. If you continue doing what you've been doing and also add the support you are bound to receive from the veterans on this site, you'll find yourself entering that number you have under "GW" and celebrating the fact that you've learned to move past the rough spots. You will have learned lessons that some of us are taking much longer to apply.
Good luck! and on a great start!

Thank you Boomerang :-) I am seeing how great this site really is and what a difference it has made to the people on here. You're right. It would have been a LOT easier to put on another 20lbs rather than lose it lol I put on 60lbs super easily :P Sometimes I do wish it would go away as easily as it came on, and i guess accepting the fact that i won't just wake up my ideal weight and that i do have to work at it, is one of the hardest bits of the journey. But I am definitely getting there.
I graduate as a teacher in 9 months. I really want to start my professional life happy with my body, so that I can focus on being the best I can be, without my weight holding me back.. I know that it has held me back during my work placements. I have another one in three months, so I hope by then I am well on my way!
sorry for going off on a tangent there...but writing everything down does seem to help!
Thank you again, your support and advice means so much

You would be surprised as to what a difference you will feel for yourself if you do your hair and put a little make up on. I work from home and I do this everyday. No one sees me but ME so when I do go to the bathroom I look in the mirror and say HEY you look good today and it puts a smile on my face. Like one of the other posters said just a little mascara and eyeliner go a long way. I have loss 73lbs to date and have 66lbs left to go. Its a long road but its something I know I have to do and WILL do no questions about it. So tomorrow morning get up, take a shower, blow dry your hair, put a little makeup on even dress in your sweats if you want too but you will feel so much better. Be happy with yourself, love yourself and your body. YOU are the only YOU there is, take care of it and SMILE. You can do this, it will take time. The 20lbs you have loss is a big accomplishment, be very proud of yourself for that! Good luck to you

Pretty, you are embarking on such a wonderful career, congratulations! The fact that you will be working in a school reminds me of a story that always makes me smile with such affection for my peers. Many years ago I worked in a preschool. The staff was small due to the fact that we only worked with special needs kids. At a certain point it seemed that 90% of the staff was following WW.
On Fridays, for some reason I cannot fathom, given the dieters in the building, we had a breakfast together, before the kids came in. Everyone brought something. The tables were laden with pastries and doughnuts, bagels and everything you can possibly imagine. The (mostly) women would pick up an enormous danish or a filled doughnut that probably represented all their points for the day, look at each other sheepishly and consult their friends: "what do you think? a bread a fruit and fat?" How I miss those wonderful, delightful women, full of humor, suport and gentility....kind of why I come here now....

Hehe! That's the problem with working in a school boomerang...lots and lots of choccies and treats! It is so hard to say no!! My last experience in school was just before christmas. There were so many temptations then..including full christmas dinners and new boxes of chocolates every day! But it is a great career and I cannot wait to properly be a teacher! It's so exciting and so rewarding!

wuv2bloved Thank you for the advice and congratulations on your amazing loss :-) I will definitely be taking the time from now on to make myself look and feel good - just for me!!

I agree with what Lovely said, stop relying on motivation. I'm currently doing the P90X exercise routine and I can tell you straight up, if I was not absolutely committed to completing this program I would have fallen off the wagon. Some days I love it and can't wait to work out. Other days I'm tired, or I'm sore, and working out is the LAST thing I want to do. But I do it anyway because I refuse to quit. Refuse.

The other thing I'd suggest is whatever you decide to do, make sure it's sustainable for the long haul. Crazy diets don't work. You need to pick something that you can incorporate into your lifestyle every day and not feel deprived. Permanent lifestyle changes work.

Wow pretty, I honestly feel like I could have written your post! I have found that its great to know that your not the only one who feels like this. There are others going through the same thing so dont feel like you are odd or something is wrong with you. also...

DON'T FEEL HOPELESS! ( I should probably tell myself this a couple of times ) But you have lost 20 lbs! That's awesome! You already have an amazing start and are going to reach your goal.

Also thanks Lovely for the motivation advice. I had never even thought about it like that.(which is probably sad) I always assumed I just needed a better reason or motivation. Heaven knows how my emotions fluctuate, I just have to make myself, I always feel better after I exercise anyway.

EagleRiverDee and Hillaryspeppy thank you for the advice and support. It really does feel good to know there are others who understand and feel the same way.
Thank you all so much.

i understand how you feel im 21 have been overweight since i was a child and its only now i have the cop on to do something about it. but here is the trick you gotta feel sexy you gotta go out and get that hair cut because it doesnt matter what size you are, you are a woman, a person and WORTH IT. even when you after having a long walk and its been a long day and your sweaty and tired and just wanna eat. you need to find a way hun even if you are so fed up you have to do a little dance of frustration.

i read a book called Neris and Indias idiot proof diet , and in it they said to go out and buy a new bra get a hair cut a new make up treat yourself in those ways cause when you feel good about yourself you will get addicted to that feeling and it will motivate you and when you see the pounds falling off that need to feel good will get stronger and stronger.

dont give up
good luck xx