Exercise Funnies

  • EXERCISE

    It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

    My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the heck she is.

    The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

    I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

    I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

    I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

    I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

    The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

    If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
    country.

    And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
  • Hey Henny Youngman....I needed that!!!! (oops might be dating myself)

    Leenie that was so cute...almost as cute as you!!!!

    Thanks for the laugh~~~~~~~~~Meg
  • Oh Leenie, that's sooo funny! I read your ost to R this morning while he got ready for work.
  • cute cute cute
    this is why i took the day off from exercise today
    haha
  • Hey Meg
    Who is Henny Youngman?
  • Linda,

    Henny Youngman was the "king of one liners", he was a hoot! Maybe this will ring a bell..."take my wife....please".

    He was best know for his rapid fire of one liners and he was extremely dry.

    He died about 3 or 4 years ago in his early 90's.

    Meg
  • Thanks Leens these are funny!! I read them to DH and he enjoyed them too. Thanks for the laughs!!
  • snort
    Meg I knew that. I was merely helping you date yourself
  • Linda
    Now why doesn't that surpirse me???????

    I figured since you weren't sooooo young yourself heck you must know who he is....but I'd give you the benefit. I should of know better

    Have a nice day!

    Hey, nice kitty picture....is he/she really yours?????

    Meg
  • Yeppers
    She is all mine. Or rather, I am all hers. I live in her house, ya know?
  • Zooni is so pretty. You could have at least taken a "family" picture Linda. Or did Zooni not want to???

    Loved the funnies Leens. Having the flabby thighs but the stomach covers them could be me. In a few years some of us can rewrite that to be "we have flabby thighs but the boobs cover them"

    Meg when you will learn not to be so trusting??