so last night im sitting in bed getting ready to sleep. I get a text from a great bar and grill called Sharkeez in Huntington Beach. I won a VIP party for 7 or more on tuesday! I went with my sister two weeks ago for her birthday and now i got raffled for a party! i love this bar but i am so afraid of the calorie overload at this place! I scheduled it for taco tuesday night so that I could have the fish tacos and only eat the fish inside. and then i was thinking to have one skinny drink. lol but i also feel the temptation rising already and its not even tuesday yet! I definetly wanna go because i am inviting my family and my mom and dad dont get to do much so i want this to be something they can do. (i know not the way that most would spend a vip party at a bara and grill) but i want my family to be there that who i care about most.

does anyone have any advice?

Life happens. Decide how you want to fit these special and rare occasions into your life.

You have a lot of options and none of them are tragedies. Even the "worst" one (deciding to stuff yourself until you're sick because you can), wouldn't be the end of the world.

We tend to look at social food events as if we have two choices "eat barely anything" or "binge until we're sick."

You have a lot of choices in-between. You don't have to be perfect, but pick an option that you will be happy with.

I think often we go in planning to "be good" (which we define as eating something we really don't want to, but it's the best caloire choice on the menu), and then feel hurt and disappointed that everyone else is having fun, and to join in we decide to "blow it."

Planning an in-between choice sometimes works better. Planning a choice that is going to feel indulgent without being the worst choice on the menu, may help.

Either way, I think banishing food guilt is essential, because it makes it easier to avoid the weird diet logic that makes us think "I've blown it so I might as well eat until I'm sick and I'll start fresh tomorrow."

Personally for me, I would have to avoid the alcohol entirely, because even one drink really does lower my resistance to say no to food. Even one drink gives me a "what the heck, you only live once" attitude. I've never been much of a drinker though, as my personality is pretty uninhibited anyway, and drinking just makes me sleepy and being sleepy in a social situation makes me hungry.

I'm not saying this is true of you, but you may want to consider it. Will you have as much fun without the drink? Will the drink increase the likelihood that you'll decide "what the heck, might as well..."

Will choosing a slightly more decadent dish make it easier to say no to a crazy dessert or reduce the temptation of deciding to chuck your "good" plan.

Would having a backup plan help (if you do decide that you don't WANT the fish is there a second-best choice).

Remember than any choice is a legitimate one, but make it a conscious choice, not an impulsive one. When it comes to weight loss (and a lot of other things too), giving in to last-minute impulses is a worse habit to get into than intentionally choosing to "go crazy" once in a while.

I TOTALLY agree with kaplods! Enjoy this visit. Enjoy your time with your family. Try not to stress about the food factor. Since you know you'll be going plan for eating healthy low-cal meals during the day to leave you extra room for dinner. Get some good exercise in that day as well. Then go enjoy a nice dinner with your family!!

thank you this is definetly helpful i will be thinking about my otpions and then post them when i have decided.



i will enjoy it but do it consciously and plan for it. thank you.

I'm the only member of my family currently focused on dieting/healthy eating so I have to get creative when we eat out sometimes. I definitely agree with the strategies already mentioned (eating good the rest of the day and exercising), and what also works best for me (especially if its at a more specially restaurant) is getting something I really want, and just eating a smaller portion rather than getting something with fewer calories that I didn't really want. That way I'm more satisfied and less likely to eat more or pick at other people's food.

Yep Kaplods nailed it.

I see this over and over an over again, and I'm guilty of it too. I think when I go out I have to get an indulgent meal AND and great dessert AND sugary martini's in order to really enjoy myself and do my splurge right. But you know what, I don't. I can just as easily enjoy myself either eating a little of all three things, or maybe just choosing one or two of those things.

It's not all or nothing, we can choose whatever we want and as long as we're consistant with our food choices the majority of the time we will lose or maintain our weight. I mean think about it. Did you gain weight from indulging occassionally? No. It happened over time because you were induldging often. So when you do indulge make sure it's worth it to you and enjoy it and leave the guilt behind.

Kaplods. You are excellent at answering questions! And very thorough. Definitely nailed it.

Another small tidbit:
If you're really concerned though, you could always try eating a fiber bar a little while before or at least making sure you have a filling lunch. You may not have this problem but I know when I am going out to eat I tend to freak out and not eat a lot during the day (some sort of reaction to the thought of consuming too many cals). Then, I end up polishing off an appetizer and a huge portion because by the time dinner rolls around I'm super hungry.

One of the mental changes that has been really key for me in this process is getting used to the idea that not every eating opportunity has to be taken full advantage of. I have figured out how to say, "this is not the last chance I'll ever have to eat a _____, so it's not the end of the world if I pass this chance up today."

This sounds like a good opportunity for you to see if that line of thinking can help you as much as it's helped me. You just went to this restaurant a couple of weeks ago and (I presume) indulged yourself. So you don't need to eat all the same stuff again. You can go and order something lighter as you are planning to do, pass up the drinks and dessert this time, because you just had all of that last time. You don't have to have all that stuff every time you go to the restaurant. Does that make sense?

I think it's really sweet that you want to use your raffle prize to treat your family. Go to the restaurant, enjoy their enjoyment - but when it comes to food, just say "eh, not this time" - and order the most on-plan thing you can order. You were there a couple of weeks ago, you're going next week - it's likely you'll get another chance to indulge yourself there in the future. So this time, just say "not today."

I agree. This is what I do. I usually just eat half the portion. Also, I don't order or eat anything that I don't LOVE. So, if the bread is just so-so, I'm not having it. I'm not munching on tortilla chips simply because they're on the table.

My advice is to be finicky (I know so many "naturally" thin people who are picky about their food), choose just what you love, and if that is really high in calories, eat less of it (1/2 or 3/4). When I have a high calorie meal out, I also usually try to shave off 50 - 100 calories from each day's allotment for the rest of the week. Normally, that takes care of any extra I ate during that one meal.

Agree 100% with kaplods.

You've got some great suggestions. The question always comes down to...how do I enjoy myself when I go out to eat and NOT feel so ridiculously guilty? :-). I agree with the others...pick something you LOVE, maybe eat less of it. Usually what I do too is eat REALLY healthy the next day, take an extra short walk to boost the metabolism, but the one thing that keeps my head clear is... the next day I don't eat again until I hear my stomach growl for food. I know my body used eveything from the previous day. So I don't feel the guilt that my body is just storing all the junk/awesomeness I ate the previous day. I also enjoy the meal more because I know everything I eat will be burned. It's just a trick I use that helps.

I say enjoy the night and splurge a little on the food choice, just make a point to only eat about 1/2 of whatever entree you choose, skip the appetizers and stick to one drink and just have FUN!

It's all just a balancing act. You need to find your balance of enjoying yourself while at the same time not going crazy overboard and also not feeling so guilty over your choices for a few weeks afterward.
Even if you end up getting an appetizer and a meal and a drink and some dessert...it isn't the end of the world. Pick up where you left off and move.
We would all rather not go crazy overboard, but sometimes it does happen. The key is just making that a rare occasion..