So here is the back story on this impromptu rant. I am two months late on my "monthly visit" and I have taken countless pregnancy tests all showing big ugly negative signs. SO I went to the Dr. and but of course it must be because I'm FAT! So here is my rant.

It has always seemed in my like when something wonderful happens something very bad ALWAYS fallows. Examples include; I got to go to Disneyland at a young age and came back to my pet dead, Went on my first camping trip my brother killed my Guinna pig (he forgot about him when he was house sitting). It seemed growing up that if i had fun something I loved was going to go a way, I actually developed a fear over this. Now I have been big my whole life I have a thyroid issue, that I have just started taking meds for, 25 years a little too late. So this time I get to go to school! Yay right?!?!? And to top it of I got a grant that pays for the whole thing! About a month after finding this out I start to think I might be pregnant!!!! I have been married 5 years this would be the best thing to EVER happen to me!! I started spotting ON the day of ovulation!! I got symptoms! WOOT I was ready! I took a test and it said NOPE i waited 2 weeks took another nope went to a clinic they said nope. This went on for two months til I saw a Dr. and but of course he LOOKS at me and says "I highly doubt your pregnant but I'll run all the tests, but I'm also going to test everything else" So I went yesterday and did the blood work.
Now the thing I'm most upset about is Druggies have babies, moms who will beat their children have babies, people who don't want to have kids can have them BUT me someone who has always felt it was ingrained in her DNA to be a mom I get teased with the best thing that could ever happened to me and its ripped away. I cant even tell you how much I hurt and hate right now. so there is my rant I'm sorry if it went on too long or for anything in here that may be found offensive.

I can totally relate to you. I have not tried getting pregnant yet, but I really want to and that is one of the primary reasons why I want to lose the weight this time. While you can have a perfectly happy and healthy pregnant and be obese -- it can and will happen -- it is so much better for your body to be in a more healthy range.

I really, really, really, really want to be a mommy too. I think about it every day... instead of letting it get you down, let it be an inspiration.

ALSO, for the record, if you were pregnant there could be a lot of reasons why you would lose it, not just weight. But on the safe side, you might want to set a goal for yourself before you attempt again. Personally, I am not going to consider going off my BC until I am at least around 230-200lbs. I will probably NOT be waiting until I get to goal because it will probably take too long.

I'm not really sure what to say but wanted to give ***hugs***

I know what my mom would say. "This too shall pass." I know it sounds trite, but it's also usually true.

One thing I'd do in your situation is switch doctors. I get ticked off, too, when a doc can't see past my weight to see there is actually some other problem. My last doc refused to test my thyroid for 9 years because he decided my weight problem was all due to overeating and underexercising. I finally changed doctors, got diagnosed, and got put on meds.

How old are you ? Unless you are past menopause there is still time to have a baby.

I know it can be frustrating, but the more you stress about it, the less likely it is to happen. If you can stop trying and just 'see what happens' you might be surprised.

Thanks for the hugs. I am in a bit of a better place now. I am still waiting on the blood test to come back but with the support of you, my friends and my amazing husband I'll get through this, (i hope)

I just wanted to say do not give up. I am in the same boat with you, just a little different. I have one little girl, she is almost six. I had her when I was 19. I have always been very overweight, but I gained about 50lbs. AFTER I had her, and now I suffer from secondary infertility due to my weight. I want another baby SO BAD and that is one of the reasons I am SO DETERMINED to lose this weight. That as well as I want to be able to do more things with my daughter. I know how upset you must be, and how hard it is to feel like you have been kicked when you are already down. If people have not been there they have no idea how much it hurts. Even being overweight you can get pregnate and have a healthy pregnancy, it is just harder. So do not give up yet ... it always seems to happen when you least expect it.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But you WILL lose the weight and everything will work out. Your kids will be very proud to have a mother who did something so important as you're doing now for both them and herself.

I am over 300 lbs and have 3 amazing kids. Wonderful pregnancies. It can happen. First and foremost stop trying.. I know I know it sound silly. Just make love to your husband. No matter what of the out come I wish you the best. (((HUGGLES)))

Hugsxxx I had my second son at 36 and 280lbs, my third at 36 and 300lbs..it happens BUt from experience I'd say try and lose weight MORE than trying for a baby. Hope you aren't offended but there are so many difficulties when big AND pregnant, not just health but walking around, swollen legs/feet. Once a baby is born being heavy tires you out, you can't play with it as much as you'd like...etc that said I'm sure you will make a great mum, good luck on losing weight and gaining a baby.xxxxxx
xxxxsharon

thanks guys. I did finally get my monthly. We dont know why it missed two months. And i have lost 10 lbs! So i think I'll be alright and have taken EVERYONES advice and stopped think do much and baby and just concentrating on me and hubby.