Ok so yesterday was the regular Saturday BBQ night with the boys, and i was anticipating this all week. Well i had a plan, and came prepared. I hate before leaving the house so i wasent to hungry when i got there. S o for this part it was ok ( even if the food and the BBQ smoke smelled like heaven mmmmm ) I had a salad and grilled chicken breast that my friend did just for me so that was nice.

But with guys twice my size and drinking, hummm let me rephrase that binging lol!!! I t was really hard to overcome the temptation not to jump in the cooler and grad a beer. The problem is, that i am not an overweight person, im 5,7 186 and very well built. Im doing the program just to get rid of a small belly gut and people just dont get it. Well i mean people around me that is ( cuz ive been having great support here ). So i had to leave aroud 9h30 cuz i was going crazy and not having fun at all, plus i was the only sober guy there so....

My point is, how do you guys do it. I feel like i will have to exclude my self from all social activities cuz they all are base on food and drinks. I dont wanna be that guy who just trains and sit in is basement, while everybody else is enjoying life. I know this souds like im wining and all but this was really hard to do last night and in a sense im glad i did it but i woke up this morning feeling awful for not enjoying my week-end. If you have any tips or suggestion on how i can enjoy the rest of the summer plz let me know.

Thanks again for the great support you all give.

Hi Rooster. I've had kind of the same problem. Hanging out with my friends always involves wine and cheese. I went to a few gatherings and it was really hard and I had minimal enjoyment. I've started to limit my time with them because as you say, it isn't much fun. I'm thinking you have to change your lifestyle a bit to make this work over the long haul and find other things to do besides eat and drink for fun. I've chosen to walk, golf, hike, swim, etc. instead of the boozefest with my girlfriends.

Thanks Pauley.

Im glad im not the only one, i dont want to ditch my friends at all but i understand what your saying i will try to find people i can do things according to my lifestyle. Its not easy ive been one of the gang for many years, but im a really social person, so i guess it wont be that hard to find a group of people who are relating to my lifestyle.

Thanks again

Oh and one more question how did your friend react to the fact that you wont going to thoses wine and cheese gathering anymore, cuz i just had a phone call from my buddy and he was wondering why i left so early yesterday and kind of gave me a hard time. The upside is that i feel great this morning and he feels like sh*t cuz hes hungover. Oh well ip wins again lol

I very rarely drink and I don't let that stop me from going out and having a good time. And this was before I started on IP. Therefore, I usually end up being designated driver, but that is ok. I never feel like crap the next day.

The guys might give you a hard time in the beginning, but after a few times of you not drinking, they will stop. It is more of a mind set that you have to change. That you can still hang out and have a good time without drinks. My friends used to be like "what do you mean you're not drinking?" and now it is just "Jen doesn't drink. Do you want a water?"

I think the best way for you to enjoy the rest of the summer is to change your thinking. Once you get past the first few times of not drinking around your buddies, the novelty will wear off. Then just sit back and have fun with the guys. It's all in your mind set. I even went on a cruise with a bunch of my girlfriends and I didn't have one drink. But I still went out partying and dancing every night. And guess what, I was the only one who was not nursing a hang over every day. But I still had a blast! No need to be the basement guy.

Well Jenny, i will be putting that theory to the test tomorrow cuz its my birthday and we will for sure be going clubbing so will see how it goes and ill keep you guys posted. Thanks for you comment they feel really good this morning and im glad i can relate with you guys. I dont know what i would do without you thks a bunch.

My girlfriends were very supportive - they know I need to lose a lot of weight and they are all thin (I have no idea how they stay thin but they do). I bet this is harder for a guy - I can't imagine a bunch of dudes being supportive of dieting! As Jenn suggests, maybe this will get easier and I'll be able to enjoy the gatherings again on a regular basis at some point. Right now, redirecting my activities to non-drinking events is working.

I've been to many social events and have been just fine. I have told people I don't drink and if they push it and still buy me something I either leave it on another table and walk away or give it to someone who understands I don't drink means I don't drink. I can't let me being on the diet ruin things for the rest of my family so we haven't skipped anything we've been invited to. If it were just me I could see myself probably staying home more though. Try getting water on ice and then mix in some mio. I use the berry pom and it looks like a mixed drink if you want to create the illusion that you are drinking. Not sure what way you want to go with it. Good luck!

Yes, I would imagine that it is harder for a guy. But a lot of the guys that I am friends with are active and healthy, so even though they indulge and drink when we go out, for the most part they understand the healthy lifestyle and a majority of the time monitor themselves.

Have a great time for your birthday and just focus on the dance floor and burning calories. I also think I have seen around here some recipes for fake drinks. So maybe at the club you can get a club soda with a bunch of lime and it will at least look like a drink and not just a glass of water if you are self conscience about it.

Oh and if you haven't tried the pudding cakes, you should make them for yourself for your b-day cake!

Mio is an excellent suggestion! Get a glass of water in a cocktail glass and then add a splash of Mio, it will look like a vodka cran!

Good luck on your birthday! My son has the same situation as you..He has a strong set of friends that love to party. He has found over the months that they are finally used to him..not consuming..and also leaving early..
I have found that people really stop focusing on you after a few initial comments about you not eating or drinking...Just hold something in your hand ..water..

That must be hard for you Rooster..Thats cool though that even though you dont have a weight problem per say..you still want to do something to improve yourself. A lot of guys wouldnt have the balls to do that over a small beer belly..So kudos..

I can understand how its hard to be stuck in social situations..im not going to lie..i myself.. am still trying to figure out how to be around people in social situations..

In fact a couple years ago when i wanted to lose a ton of weight..i actually literally did nothing but work sleep and go to the gym and eat..I dropped a lot of weight fast..but i didnt see my friends for a couple months cause i was at the gym every night for a couple of hours...So its all about balance..You need to do what makes you feel good..If getting punch drunk and waking up with a hangover makes you feel good..then go for it..BUT.. if staying healthy and being alert and full of energy is what you want...then go for it...

We can choose to follow or we can choose to lead..which do you want to be?

YOU NEED TO DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.

Well porthardygurl, what makes me fell good is talking to people like you. People i can relate too and being able to say what i feel without being judge. And for this i thank you. What i want the most is to feel good about myself and be healthy and live and long life. Baby steps, and ill get there. I feel way better then this morning and went for a 10k run today. I would not have been able to do that with a hangover, so i guess i did good (tap on the back lol).

You guys are the greatest.

I have a story to tell you, How I can relate to you....

My best friend is a bartender and the only way I get to see her is if I go hang out at the bar cuz she is always working. Before I started IP, I would go to the bar and she would just make me whatever, she always through something different at me to try. I would sit there for hours, not getting drunk cuz I would just sip the drinks. I had not really gone to see her since I started cuz I didn't want the temptation, but I bit the bullet, I knew I had this. I walked in and she said OMG look at you! I have a special drink for you tonight, I said WAIT!! I just want a water with lemon. She said NOOOO you have to try this you will love it. I said Nope, water with lemon please she said ok ok but why? I said I have lost 40lbs and I want to keep losing so I'll just take water with lemon. She said WOW you are serious about this aren't you? I said yup sure am so give me my water please. Since then I have gone a couple of times and she doesn't say anything just gives me my water with lemon. Very proud of myself.

Another one I have had to go through is one of the drivers ( i manage 4 coach buses) and I had to go out of town and he knows that I drink. So after we got to our destination he said lets go have a drink. I said ok sure. So we got there he said coors lite? I said no water with lemon please he said are you serious? I said yup. We sat there for hours and he drank and everytime he went get a drink he would ask me if I was sure I didn't want a beer. I drank 10 bottles of water that night with lemon, towards the end the bartender started putting my water in a glass with the lemon wedges on the rim. I felt great the next morning and him well you know how that goes.....lol

Rooster you are a very strong guy to be able to do what you are doing, You can still have your social life, you are doing this for YOU and who cares what anyone else thinks about what you are doing. You are making the right choices in your life to stay healthy. For you to be on the forum and talk to us the way you do, lets us know that there are some guys out there who truely understand what we go through with some of the issues we have. Sorry for such the long post.

Rooster, there has been some GREAT advice on here and a lot of it is from personal experience.

Another point I haven't seen made is that not being able to party is not permanent, especially if you don't have too much to lose. If you follow the program you will lose quickly. So just tell yourself that you are not giving up "partying" up permanently. It is a sacrifice that you will make for a while. Of course, once you get off IP, you don't want to gain it all back, but you can certainly have a drink in moderation. Who knows, maybe by the time you can you won't even want to that badly.

Good luck!

Good for you for choosing to be healthy. I bet if you lined up all your friends and had their cholesterol / blood pressure checked, you would be the healthy one. You will be so much better off now and in the future if you don't party like a rock star.
Mary