I finally dropped another pound! 303 lbs. FINALLY!
I haven't changed my ticker, yet because usually I change my ticker the minute I reach a new weight (like today, it's the first time I've reached 303 lbs) then as soon as I change my ticker, I regain that pound.
Then I don't know if I unintentionally relaxed my standards and regained, or whether the low weight was a fluke or a scale error.
I was beginning to think I would never get under 304 lbs (let alone under 300).
It was just a week or so that I decided that I wasn't going to update my ticker until I reached 299 lbs (5 lbs away at that point). I thought maybe moving the goal would give me something to work a little harder for. It was just a little bet I made with myself, and I think it's worked.
It's funny how mind games figure into this, but after deciding this I started seeing my next step not as 303, but 299. I started to see myself as "almost there" and I think there was a component of "thinking as if" helped me, "act as if."
The weird thing is that my diet really hasn't changed, though I have been more active, just because I always am in summer. So it could be my summer changes, not mental ones at all.
I don't really care "why," I just care "that" it's happening.
I don't know if it was a mental or a physical block that kept me from losing past 304. I wonder the same thing about my problems getting past 350 lbs. I kept gaining and losing the same 5-7 lbs for months. I think I'd been at 350 for so long, that set point really was part of the issue (my body was used to being that size), but the mental bit was probably just as big a component, if not more so. I just couldn't quite believe or see myself as a person who weighed less. Once I proved to myself it was possible, the next 40 lbs came off significantly more easily.
I think 304, maybe was the same. I was kind of expecting it at 300 lbs, not 304 lbs though, because breaking 300 lbs will be a huge accomplishment. I think 1992 was the last time I got under 300 lbs, and even then it was short-lived. I lost the weight to fit into a bridesmaids dress for a friends wedding. To accomplish it, I went on Nutrisystem and an herbal appetite suppressant loaded with caffeine and ephedra (back when it was legal). And I essentially weint off the diet and started regaining at the wedding reception.
I'm really, really excited about getting under 300 lbs, just because it's been so long since I've been there and even longer since I was able to stay there for more than a couple months.
The first time I reached 300 lbs was shortly out of college in 1987, and except for about 6 months before the friend's wedding and a couple months afterward, I've been over 300 lbs ever since. Geez, that's almost 25 years (23.5 if you don't count the Nutrisystem months).
In some ways, it's hard to believe that I've been over 300 lbs for more than half of my life. And in other ways, it's hard to believe that I can and will very shortly be under 300 lbs.
I'm so thrilled I can't explain it (or why 1 lb has made such a huge difference).
Before today, I would say and think "I'm fairly confident that I will be able to get under 300 lbs."
But today, I can say, "I know I will, and fairly soon."
I'm also starting to truly see a difference in my body. Until recently the changes were so gradual, I could only see them when standing in front of a mirror while holding an old photo or comparing a new and an old photo side-by-side.
WOW, I'm just rambling on and on and on about a measly pound, but in some ways this has been as monumental as the first pound I intentionally lost this time (as many of you know the the first twenty were accidental, the side effect of cpap use, and it took me more than two years after that to lose pound # 21. I was more excited about lost pound #21 than any other pound I've ever lost in my life (so far ).
It was also great to finally be able to use another sticker - as some of you know I keep a sticker chart of my lost pounds, rewarding every 5 lbs with a reward worth about $5 or less. Each page looks like a Bingo card, only with 5 rows and 5 columns. In each box are two numbers. The # of pounds lost, and my weight at that time. For example the box in which I placed today's sticker had the numbers 303 (my current weight) in one corner, and 91 (the number of pounds lost) in the other. Only four more pounds to reach 299 and my next "reward," a craft book I've been wanting to buy from amazon.com.
I suspecdt strongly the next four pounds are going to be a lot easier than the last one.
I know when I lost the weight in 1991/92, I felt a huge difference physically between 300 lbs and 275 and and even bigger difference when I reached 250 lbs. I'm hoping to experience the same differences this time. With all my health issues I can't be sure whether the improvement will be as drastic (or maybe more so). I'm not going to be discouraged either way, but I'm very, very anxious to find out.




Congratulations again!
