Yesterday was cookies, red velvet cake, cupcakes and brownies at the 4th of July party- tonight a boston creme cake for my sisters anniversary dinner, and this week I'm going to California (Disneyland on Friday & San Diego on Saturday) & half the fun *used to be* eating churros, fudge & ice cream at Disneyland & Pinkberry and other junk in San Diego...

Literally all thats been going through my head theese last 3 days I've been "off" sweets- not fruits or carbs or anything, just soda, deserts, cookies, candy, etc. is "wahhhhhh why me?!?!? It's not fair!!"

Why must EVERYTHING involve desserts?? & why must it all look so delicious?? Will I ever not want these things?

I'm thinking of having a small Pinkberry on Saturday with lots of fruit for surviving Disneyland without the former things mentioned, and this coming Sunday will be a birthday party for myself so I think I'm going to allow myself a SMALL portion of whatever birthday dessert I have, but I really hope these two things dont throw me back into a dessert craving whirlwind.

It's tough to stay away from sugary sweets, but if you want to become healthy and lose weight it's the only way.

If your goal is to get off sugar, having even small portions will make the process longer and more difficult. But it really is possible to break the addiction and be able to see desserts and even watch others enjoy them but be ok with not eating them yourself.

it's reallyyy reallyyyyy hard to stay away from sweets....i just tell myself that i'm practicing for when i become diabetic LOL...and hopefully i won't but if i continue eating carbs/sugars, that's the road i'm heading for since i'm already pre-diabetic...after months of practice, i'm getting better at just saying no, or walking away from a situation that's too tempting, or stopping with just a nibble...not all the time, but MOST of the time

I think trying rewards that are not food items can be really helpful. I have to work REALLY hard to remember this myself. Because I crave the things that i love to eat, that have made me fat and feel bad. Why is that: don't know. Wish there was a magic bullet.

what April Snow said x2. I am having fun this weekend (out of town, staying with family) despite passing up wedding cake, ice cream, homemade cookies, plus all the rest of my normal temptations-that-aren't-even-temptations-any-more.

I caved tonight; I had cake & ice cream... I'm so bummed- I definitely overate but I didnt eat as much as I'm used to... With all these things coming up like Cali, Disney, my birthday, my 2 other sisters birthdays within 3 days of mine, and every other reason to eat junk every other day of the year, I think I just need to say no for good, for now... But MAN it is SO hard!! Especially on those special occasions! But I know I just cant have "a little" for each one, itll turn into days, weeks & months of caving into sugar...
Here's to will power & self control!

Thanks all...

I think the bigger question is.."Why do we find ourselves eating at every social gathering.."? I mean i get it..its cultural to lounge and eat and talk to are guests..its a hospitality thing..but seriously..i dont know about you americans or anyone else..but i remember getting together with my buddies for movie nights or cards..it seemed like the main foods always there were "beer and coke" and cheesies, chips, wings, jalopeno poppers....etc..

It was always crap food..and if i go to a gathering..it still is...my daughters first birthday may actually be the first birthday gathering i go to that wont have crap food at it..My mother is actually giving me heck because im making my daughter an applesauce oatmeal cake that has almost no sugar and instead of there being icing made with sugar..its going to be just plain whip cream on top.. with some little plastic toys on top for decorations and candles..I mean..come on..why would you want to give your 1 year old sugar? Is this the way we celebrate life? By drowning it in sugar and fat?

I understand, I do! Food is everywhere in America, everywhere we look. I teach international students and they are often astounded by how prevalent food is in our culture. In most of their countries, food is only eaten at designated meal times in designated places.

Can I give you some encouragement? If you make it a habit to refuse food at these "events," it does eventually become second nature to refuse and you won't dwell on it as much. It completely eliminates that "Will I or won't I?" dilemma for these events. Your default becomes no, and at some point people will stop asking you to eat.

This takes some time, I admit, but it's worth it in the long run. Habit, habit, habit - your habits used to involve eating all those sugary foods, and your new habit involves not eating them. The more you practice this new habit the easier and more automatic it becomes. The Beck Diet book calls this "strengthening your resistance muscle," which is one of the most important muscles we can exercise!

Really? I am sorry I just don't have that much faith in OTHER people, from my past experience, the pressure to "make just one exception", "you deserve it", "just one bite" or "come on try it" became the extablished norm.

It's true, it doesn't work for everyone in every case. There are some people, I'm pretty sure, who will always use those lines on me.

But by the same token, I've been consistently refusing food at work events for 18 months. I have never said yes. Never. (For the record, if I've planned for an event in advance, I serve myself before anyone has a chance to pressure me into eating foods I didn't plan for.) My co-workers tried those lines on me for a long time, but eventually realized that I never said yes and stopped trying.

I'm not saying it's a magic bullet, but some people will - eventually, and if we are consistent in our answers - save their breath.

Look at it this way - if there are often desserts around you, it reduces the pressure to eat the one that's in front of you today. It's not your last chance to have a lovely dessert - there will be more another day. So, just tell yourself, "hm, not today."

Then lather, rinse, repeat.

hey DaughteroftheKing,

I too have been surprised by the fact that in America there is such an emphasis on celebrating with food too. It's extremely difficult for those who are trying to lose weight.

I have gained weight around my birthdays in the past by celebrating with food too much. It's hard for me because I use food to numb, and deal with emotions.

Some good advice I have heard is to have a 'sanity meal' (to stay sane from the confines of weight loss) where one allows themselves to have some food they want but not go overboard and then get right back on track.

good luck, i hear ya!

I find that if I say a simple "no thanks!" with a big smile, it gets less resistance than if I go into more detail and say I "can't" eat something and that it's not on my diet, etc, etc. It's hard to argue with "no thanks" and if necessary, you can just repeat it and change the subject.

I agree with this. Maybe I am just very fortunate, but the people around don't get into my business when I say "no thank you" to offerings of food. They might say "are you sure?" But that's about the extent of it.

I am also rarely the only person saying "no thank you." It's just not that unusual, and nobody seems to think I am a freak or an ingrate for saying no thank you to a dessert.