A bit of a rant...

OK, really a rant.

Been overweight since just after college. Been obese for the past 10 years. Just about everyone in my family is overweight. And, everyone, including me, knows why - we love to eat.

So, I began WW last week. My DH's, who is the cook in the house, first reaction is I'm not changing what I'm cooking. NP, I say, I'll just watch portions. (I really appreciate that he does the cooking.) The same day I start WW, my Mom comes to town. Did I mention I started my period that same day too. (I am one tough chick!)

The first few days are fine. I am tracking and staying in plan. Watching portions at home. But I keep hearing the committee (mom and DH) saying you can't have that. And I correct them and say, yes I can. And I go through my points that I have spent for the day and how this food or that food in such-n-such quantity is so many points.... you know the drill.

And yesterday, we were out of the house all day - shopping. We lunched (I planned what I would have before we left), but we were out all day (no snacks). I had oodles of points left at the end of the day. My mom and daughter were leaving town in the morning. So for dinner I suggested our favorite italian restaurant. Then I hear the committee say you can't eat there. And I correct them and say, yes I can. And I go through my points that I have spent for the day. Mention that I have already planned for this restaurant and what I will eat. Then I hear from my mom that I shouldn't skip the snacks and blow 1/2 a days points on one meal. DUH. Some days, you do not have a choice to snack during the day. Sh*t happens.

I know, it is only the first week and I am obsessed with how many points are in this or that. I am learning. But will everyone (at home) please stop telling me what I can and cannot eat and how to use my points? I am 43 years old and I can read my tracker, dammit!

Rant complete. Thanks.

Turn the committee off ! Say something like , I have checked my WW points and I know what is ok, but thank you for your concern.Or.....listen to what they say, say ok and leave the room.Do not talk about your diet plan with them, They probably think they are being helpful.

Take the time to explain WW to them?
i thought for the longest time, that WW was eating just WW food. Like you can only eat their can of vegetables, or yogurt, NO OTHER FOODS.
Then one day i took the time to discover how it really works.
People just need the information.

I agree with Bargoo. They probably think they're being helpful and supportive.

I mean, in their minds, they're trying to point you in the right direction, but it sounds like they truly do not understand the WW program. They think "Ah, FlygURL is on a diet. That means she should only eat salads, and small meals."

You are going to be all the stronger in understanding the program for yourself by having to tell these people over and over again how it works! That it's not a diet, you're just changing the way that you're eating. So, you can eat real food. You can eat what everyone else does. You just need to watch portions, and you're a big girl so you can handle looking at your points.

I suggest this phrase, "Thank you for being supportive and trying to be helpful, but my program allows and encourages me to eat like a normal person, not like I'm on a diet."

Best of luck with the committee and stay strong!

Does your Mother know you are 43 years old? Just sayin' ...

Lovely - Nice summary what everyone is saying.
Ruthxxx - Sometimes, I wonder.

Unsolicited advice can be a pain in the butt, but sometimes it's easier to tune out than to turn off. You can try asking/telling them to stay out of your weight loss, and reminding them that you're perfectly willing to and capable of making your own choices. It may help (it may not).

My husband and I have learned (mostly) to stay out of each other's diet and weight loss, but it was hard, especially since we're both diabetic and we do see each other occasionally eating foods we know are not the best choices - but commenting just tends to cause an argument.

We had to remind each other when the other started playing "food cop." Sometimes with sarcasm such as "yes, officer!"

You may have to set some ground rules. What comments are ok and what aren't (some people consider it "sabotage" for a family member to offer them any food under any circumstances, and others are offended if food is offered to everyone else, but not the dieter). Some people want their family members to help with their behavior changes, and others want them to stay out of it.

The only way to communicate your desires is to voice them. Showing them and explaining your program could help, but it could also make it worse (when you invite someone into your weight loss in a small way, they sometimes take it as permission to get even more involved).

It may be easiest to say "trust me to be in charge."

A lot of people have a hard time with "regular food dieting," they expect "diet food" to be substantially different from regular food and they never quite seem to understand that it doesn't have to be.

I don't know if that's true of your mom and hubby, but it might be easier and more effective to say "butt out" than to give to much information (which may only invite them to more closely scrutinize your plan, and would it be any easier to hear "have you gotten your five servings of fruit and veggies in," or "have you used any of your weekly points? Are you using your activity points?"

More information could just give them more to grill you about. I'm sure they want to help, but often the best way to help someone lose weight is to stand out of their way, and let them do it in their way, in their time (they may not realize this, even if you point it out to you. You may have to get firm and tell them "this topic is off-limits," and expect to have to remind them of it for at least the first 50 times.

Nicely said - all of you

My situation is the opposite. I wish I could give you some of my luck!
I kinda kept everything to myself the first week but the second week my mom who lives w/us would say hmm..I wonder how many points I would have? So I used my calculator (this is sooo handy!) and figured hers and then my husband did too..I kept saying hey it's alright everyone, you don't have to do this too. My mom said "please! there is nothing wrong w/everyone around here losing a few pounds." Oookay. Well yesterday my eldest comes over, he has a honey bun and a diet pepsi. I couldn't help but laugh. I pulled out my calculator and my husband says "Oh, you're in for it now!" I tell him there is 18 points in that honey bun!!! he laughs..he's 17, they don't care lol. But my husband and mom have been pretty good about asking how many points are in something and kinda sticking to what their points would be. I, of course, am the only one who goes and weighs in each week but that's okay. I'm hoping at my husbands next checkup he has lost a few pounds. I know even with my "puny" 9.2 lbs I have a long ways to go but I use it for incentive because it's a MINUS in my column, not a PLUS!

Personally I have found that my "committee" has quieted down over time. My grandma is the "you can't have that" person. Except when she wants to split a dessert anyway, which is... a lot. but, for example, we went out for pizza and she tried to argue that I couldn't have any at all. I tried to explain about moderation, choices, etc, but I think actually seeing me still lose that week probably did more than anything I said. And now just generally seeing that I've done okay so far, her attitude is more like oh you must know what you are doing.

I don't think even if it came up again, which it hasn't at all lately, it would even bother me anymore. Too many people get the idea of super strict diets in their brains instead of gradual lifestyle changes when they think of losing weight.

It's very frustrating though. Try not to let it get you down and hopefully they'll see soon enough that you are doing the plan the way that works best for you!

I just remind people that it isn't a diet. No, I can't "splurge" because it's fourth of July because it's not a diet I will be straying from, this is my LIFESTYLE now!!

You seem to be of the mind that staying within your points is all that is important. That is wrong. You have to get all your 9 GHGs in every day too. You need to eat every 3-4 hours, a meal or a light snack, to keep your metabolism going. You need to know what exactly and in what quantity is going to the food your husband prepares. If you guess at the points, you aren't going to be pleased with the results. Follow the program as written and plan your day so that you never leave the house without a snack.

This is very sound advice, but she's JUST starting out! One week or less if I remember correctly. Give her some time to get used to just tracking and portion control!! We all do it a bit differently.