Hey all!

I am very new to this website (actually.. I just signed up yesterday!). I'm addicted.

That being said, I am also new to my long weight loss journey ahead of me.

I technically started my calorie restriction 3 days ago and it's been going almost perfect!

This weekend, my dad is holding a family reunion at one of my favorite Italian restaurants with all you can eat.

I almost feel like my history will rewrite itself. Every time I start a calorie restriction and slip up, I get so ashamed of myself and continue down this descending spiral of calories.

Does anyone have any advice for me?... I don't want to mess up like all the previous times I have

Don't get too obsessed with being perfect and good and bad and "messing up." How many calories are you eating, what are you eating, etc? All you can eat is misleading, should be "all you want to eat." Even if you overdo it, which could easily happen, why does that have any impact on the meals preceding and following the reunion dinner?

Guilt does not burn calories-making sure that you stop yourself while binging and go back to your routine will.
There is also a Chicks in control board, with a How do you prevent a binge?
Here is my post
"It goes up and down in cycles. I tell myself-it is only a craving...it is just a feeling, and it really IS. At the bookstore the other day, I saw a child who kept on screaming and the mother going "Please Please please if you love me, be quiet" and I thought-"wow that is how I speak to my body" because I beg my body not to crave and binge. But its like...even if I have the craving, why should I indulge it? I try to treat it like a bratty child and do not give in or beg, because I AM in control, it is my body. I just sit and let the cravings pass (generally) and even if they do not go away, I'm good because well, I at least I get to just surf the internet.
I do not indulge in a lot of temptations in my life, such as spending thousands on clothes and bags, so I should act like an adult in this aspect too. I also think about what happens AFTER. I ask myself-Why do I want to eat this? and my answer is "to feel satisfied and relieved! because it is there and tasty!" then I ask myself "Why do I want to binge on this tasty food" and my response is "because it will make me happy!" and then I think about how it REALLY makes me feel, vs the actual thrill when I eat normally.
I also think "But I can't imagine depriving myself of this food!!!" and then I react with "But I went for over 20 years never having tasted this food before, it is not a necessary nutrient - esp not Nutella and I have had over a lifetime's worth.
I think about the people who have overcome drug/smoking addictions, and how much stronger they are than my food cravings, so if my father can quit cigs, I can quit eating a whole loaf of bread in 1 sitting.
That and because I started off strict, my idea of full is now a lot better. My binges are smaller, so they are not 5000 cals and ruining whatever weight loss I achieved (I think....) I get stuffed a lot more early. It doesn't mean that I not go off track, but its scaled down."

I would say the same. Don't get too obsessed with perfection 'cause that's the best way to bring on a binge. If I'm going out and I don't want to overeat I just don't let myself look past the appetizers and the salad sections! I'll order the most delicious looking salad I can find. At least then I have a plate filled with vegetables as the bulk of my meal and I know I'll stop when I'm full because I'm being health conscience.

This Italian restaurant is FULL of simple carbs. My absolute weakness. All you can eat breadsticks and pasta. I will maintain a strong mentality about incorporating lean proteins such as chicken for this meal, but I feel like my sense of strength may be diminished when I see my whole family eating my favourite foods.

I can't fully explain why it impacts the following meals, but it just does. I create a big deal out of that one binge in my head and tell myself I can never recover from such a binge. That one binge is usually followed by many after.

I'm hoping that these forums will put an end to that though, so thank you for your words!

pixelllate: Thank you so much for you input! You are very right in that our bodies should not be treated poorly by our psyches. That is something that I need to work on, but I feel that this new journey to losing weight will help immensely. I have a very addictive personality, but binging can easily put a stop to that. Also, thanks for the advice on the other forum sections. I'm going to check that out

alliesarang: You do have a good point. Although my dad is very in shape as a marathon runner, he can still pretty much eat whatever he wants. He is also a food pusher. I feel like if he saw me eating salads, my whole family would almost pressure me to eat other things. It's hard to win at peer pressure from your family!

It is never the slip-up itself that "ruins" a diet. It is always the shame, guilt and "ah, well, blew it and might as well give up" that follows a slip-up that leads into the death spiral. Preceding it is the unfortunate symptom of perfectionism.

Being on plan is a good thing. We should all strive to be on plan, of course. However, one of the most difficult parts of any weight loss journey is the portion that deals with acceptance and understanding when we make a mistake.

I do not care how perfect a person says they are, we're human. Mistakes are made. At some point we all eat something we wish we hadn't, or skip a day of exercise. Adding guilt and shame doesn't change the past, but it sure does keep our minds there.

The moment we recognize that we've done something we didn't want to, it's important to accept it, but then to also think to the future. To move from guilt and shame over into planning the next healthy meal or next healthy action.

I'm not saying it's easy to let go of the bad feelings surrounding a slip-up. Just like our weight loss journey, we have to find the best way to let go and move on.

You're stronger than food. You can do this.

In the past I've been bad at resisting the temptation of yummy pasta, but heres something to think about...

You know that feeling of accomplishment when you DO resist a craving. The craving a desire for them will diminish, but the proud/accomplished/happiness that replaces it will be well worth it. Just try to hold onto that feeling when you are about to go into a situation where you'll be tempted.

Also another good trick is fill yourself up with water and veggies before hand. You'll be very unlikley to overeat or indulge as much. =]

Hope that helps! Good luck!

Welcome to 3FC!! I'm fairly new too. My advice? Water. I try to eat sporadically small, healthy snacks to keep from getting too hungry before a meal.. but that almost never pans out. I usually just end up eating A LOT before, after and during. Water, however, almost always works to subdue hunger-induced binges.

Plan to drink A LOT of water before you go and while you're there. Five to ten trips to the bathroom beats the after-binge guilt pangs! Also plan what you're going to order to eat ahead of time.

If you do end up binging, acknowledge what you did and then move forward.

Question: What can be gained by driving yourself up the wall with binge guilt?
Answer: Only pounds!

Stay strong!