Save me!!!! He thinks it's ok because he uses veggie oil He does 90% of the cooking in the house and if I don't eat what he cooks I risk a fight. He's wanted a deep fryer for years, why I don't know. So far he's only made fries with it a few times but I'm scared I'm going to come home to an entirely deep fried meal. I can't believe he did this.

ohhh!!! I am sorry to hear this It is so hard to resist, imagine coming home hungry to that aroma..and it can either smell great or smell terrible, I know.

why do our spouses torment us

My DH just does not care about food in/inevitable weight gain. He has ice cream every night. If you do your best to battle the deep fried foods, I am right with you when I resist the ice cream in the house (that he buys).

oh i see the part about risking a fight if you dont' want what he cooks, that sux.

Hmmm... I think if it was me, that deep fryer would have an "accident". You know, cut a wire or something in the middle of the night that makes it faulty, LOL!!!

How about doing one of those tests they used to do for one of the vegetable oil companies where they measure the oil before and after to see how much actually went into the food. They used to fry chicken and showed how only a tablespoon or two was missing from the used oil. If he uses it at the right temp and does not engage in heavy breading you may be able to enjoy fried zucchini or cauliflower or sweet potato fries within reason. Knowledge is power

That sounds like my husband! We have a little deep fryer that THANK GOD he doesn't know how to use properly!
For some reason, my husband likes to "comfort me" by buying me ice cream and fried food when he knows I am trying to lose weight. Seriously? Yeah, a pint of ice cream won't make me feel guilty or anything! *rolls eyes*
In a situation like that where my husband does cook...and it's bound to be a horrible sabotage attempt, I just eat it. If i know he's cooking, I do the 2 boiled eggs for breakfast and a hefty salad with easy dressing for lunch and then eat as little as possible for dinner with him. That way i'm eating it, but not a lot, and I was good the rest of the day....then I tell him not to cook for the next couple of weeks.

Ruuunnn Forrrrest Runnnn!!!

There are lonely moments in my life when I miss being married, but then I read a post like this one and remember how much X would sabotage my efforts to live healthy.

He's only thinking of himself in this situation. And if he's getting after you for not eating his fried food, then that's a problem you two need to talk about and resolve. You've made great progress to lose weight and you're getting into the final stage when it's really hard to lose weight. You have some alternatives:

1. Eat what he's cooking and avoid the conflicts but gain back what you've lost.
2. Ask him to let you know when he's going to use the fryer, eat what he's cooking, but track the calories and compensate by eating less the rest of the day (or save up calories for that event)
3. Eat just a little bit of what he's made, tell him he is as a god to you, and finish your meal with healthy choices.
4. Set limits on what you'll eat fried, like tommy suggested.
5. Address the potential conflict with him and make the choice to avoid the fried food altogether and let him deal with his own feelings.
6. Do more of the cooking for yourself.

Realistically, how much is he going to be frying? He's a man...having to clean up that fryer more than once or twice and he's going to become disinterested. Unless you're the one doing the clean up!

I agree with those options. And seriously, are you worried that giving in to someone's attempt to sabotage your diet would hurt their feelings? You're both adults, I'm sure you can negotiate your way out of this.

Meanwhile, I now really fancy falafel.

Oh yikes! A deep fryer?! Oh goodness... it almost doesn't get much worse than that, does it?

I can't offer better advice than already given, but keep a few meals frozen on the side in case he decides to fire that thing up on a night you cannot afford to eat fried foods.

Could you ask him to put some of what he's going to deep fry aside so you can roast it in the oven instead? Say he wants to make french fries or sweet potato fries, or fried chicken- I know it's not the same thing and it would be so tempting to have his, but at least you can have the "same" dinner as him, he can still prepare and cook for you, but you're not stepping into the crazy danger zone of deep fried foods! I think it's a fair compromise- he gets to cook and play, he gets to prepare something for you, and you both get to share mealtime together feeling satisfied with yourselves.

And if he says it's too much work, remind him how easy it is to line a cookie tray with foil, spray the same foods with pam olive oil and let it cook for 10-20 minutes. Not tough and no extra dishes!

Why a fight? Can't you just cook your own food? Is he being a food police type? I'm puzzled. Because to me it is like "That's nice honey" and then let it go.

A.

i'm with astrophe on this one...

additionally, andy's (they make awesome fish breading) also makes a wonderful veggie breading. Once in awhile when i want some indulgence i will make deep fried veggies. They are spectacular! mushrooms? to die for! i don't think He will make you deep fried pancakes for breakfast at least i hope not! lol.

Also fried (lightly) gets my kids to eat fish which doens't happen otherwise, i don't think it is all gloom and doom.

~fm

I've been sitting here biting my tongue, but I feel I need to say this. I don't know exactly what you are facing right now but...

Have a respectful and calm discussion with him about your need for him to support you in a positive way. He doesn't need to make you healthy food or keep unhealthy food out of the house. But if he does need to respect your own choice to bring healthy foods into the house and eat whatever you wish to whether he has cooked or not. It is wonderful that he cooks for you and he deserves kudos for that! You should not though feel obligated to eat anything anyone makes for you if it is unhealthy, especially if it is to avoid an argument or fight. That is an unhealthy dynamic and it needs to be tackled head on. If this can't be resolved in a positive way then you have bigger problems then a few extra pounds.

Sorry, but I laughed when I read the title of this thread.
Really you don't have to eat the fried food. Keep some alternatives around for when everything's fried.

Maybe he's trying to fatten you back up. Sometimes guys are saboteurs when their wives/so's lose weight.

I feel your pain. I remember coming over to my parents' house when my dad had one of his famous "fish fries", and the table was loaded in fish, hush puppies, and french fries all a crispy brown color glistening with grease. We had a small amount, but even with such a small amount, I had the worst heart burn that night and vowed not to partake ever again. I won't even mention the time my dad made homemade, deep-fried corn-dogs. Ugh.