You know how some people eat because they're depressed? Well for me it's the other way around. When I eat, it makes me depressed. Even if I ate healthy. I want to be full, but I hate the feeling of food in my stomach. DOESN'T MAKE SENSE right?

It is so upsetting, because obviously I have to eat. So all day I have emotional ups and downs. And in my head it is NEVER okay to eat. It's like, since im fat, I don't think I should be eating. I can eat when I'm thin. Sadly it doesn't work that way.

I've seen my doctor about it, and she thinks I just need to over come it. And that it is a type of eating disorder. But it is frustrating.

For instance, last night and tonight, I had to skip gym.. because I'm having a really bad mentral cycle, and any movement makes my cramps worse..(even had to go home early from work yesterday in tears it was so bad). But I've been really good with my eating.

I had fish, brown rice, and veggies for dinner. But I feel like the fattest most disgusting thing in the world right now, I wanna cry=[ It's too late to go to the gym now.. So I just have to sit here and deal till it goes away, or I go to bed.

Anyone else have this issue? Any suggestions on how to make it better?

I wish I had some suggestions for you pinkpolkadot, but I did want to let you know, you're not alone in this. I have the same feelings about food. At first I thought it was just carbs/pasta doing it to me, but even when I have something as healthy as salad and chicken, I still "crash" afterward. I absolutely DREAD eating now. I know I have to eat, and I'm not losing weight, but I don't even enjoy it while I'm doing it. I'm working on this with a therapist because I can't spend my life hating my body and resenting my friends who seem to want to constantly drag me out to eat. If we come up with anything, I will most definitely let you know.

Try to remember that this is usually a symptom of what's really bothering you. Self-hatred has very little to do with your actual weight - there are many women who love themselves regardless of their weight - which is how it should be. I hope you feel better soon!

Fascinating. Really.

I can’t tell you how relieved I am to read this post. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. And then to read that seeing a therapist about this and it being a LEGITAMATE issue helped me as well. But yeah, I guess if you break it down and realize that it is just us having a bad relationship with food and how it makes us feel, that definitely is a problem. A sort of eating disorder maybe? I don’t know. And for me, I am developing anxiety over it. I can eat a healthy meal (even just 300-400 calories) and if it makes me feel full, I start to get anxious and I start to sweat. I think of nothing else. And at the end of the day I do a mental autopsy on what I consumed that day and even the day before. And then I go into planning mode for what will happen tomorrow. It’s a crazy, vicious, exhausting experience.

Now, this doesn’t happen EVERY time (the anxiety part) but I do feel bad when I feel full. I hope that when I get to my goal weight (10 pounds from now) it won’t be so bad.

ShanIam,
It was my experience that even when I weighed as little as 119 pounds, aside from loving the fact that my clothes were loose and comfy, the joy of being "thin" was short lived. I absolutely could not see the difference and after a while no longer felt any better about myself. That's I why I really believe that it's something else causing it. And I'm not saying it's some deep, dark childhood trauma or anything like that. I think it may be as simple as a hard wiring issue with reinforced learned behavior. I'm reading a book called Gaining: Life after Eating Disorders, and the author talks about obsessive compulsive personalities (which is not the same as OCD). She said some people are just hard wired with the capacity for anxiety inducing thought patterns, I'm pretty sure I'm one of them. (I read everything. I will look anywhere and everywhere to put an end to this kind of stress. It's the pits.)

Anyway, try to remind yourself that whether you are at your goal, below your goal, or .3 pounds above it, you are just as great a person regardless of whether your body is 1/16th of an inch bigger or smaller around. When you actually spell it out like that, it seems ridiculous for it to be so important doesn't it??? Now if only I could take my own advice! Lol!

I know exactly how you feel. I've been struggling with this since I was 11. I can't afford therapy although I know I need it. My doctor put me on Wellbutrin for depression and it's helped. I don't binge anymore and for whatever reason my thoughts towards food are normal now. When I eat I don't feel bad. I can make choices that work now, whereas before I had absolutely no control. In fact, today I went to McDonald's b/c it was fast and on my way to work and even though I felt gross for eating it (hurt my belly and made my heart feel fluttery) I didn't let the FACT that I ate it upset me. I just said to myself, "that was a nice treat but I don't like how that made me feel. I'm not going to eat that anymore." And that was that. No obsessing, no hating myself...nothing. It's weird. I really don't like to suggest the use of meds, but have you talked to your dr about it? It's taken me two+ years to finally go on something seriously. Before I would just take it for a month and then forget it. I don't know. I hope my rambling helps...

wow, jennette
The same thing for me. I was to the piont that I was gonna get weight loss surgery. The weight just was not moving no matter what I did. With Prayer and the step to get help My Doc put me on well butrin 2 weeks ago
. I am begining to think of how depressed I really was cause I feel better. I do get a tummy ach if I eat certain things though. You couldn't have said it better.

I'm glad I made sense!!! LOL! I am also glad to see I'm not alone...I thought that maybe I was just weird, but I've read that other people are like me and it's really helping them. I'm so happy. I finally have what I consider normal thoughts about food. It's so liberating.

I feel that way sometimes.

I would try to find something that you love about yourself and focus on that. Maybe you have a beautiful smile, eyes, nose, amazing arms, a beautiful shape, etc!

Feel better!