...if you think you have or have eating/food "issues" (binging, restricting, emotional eating, whatever) please please please deal with them DURING weight loss! Lifestyle change or not, they WILL be waiting for you when the "fun" of weight loss is over.

Ok, so I'm being a little dramatic and of course nothing anyone says applies to everyone; but I can personally attest that even with a complete lifestyle change, hitting goal and being pretty happy with my results from weight loss closing in on 1 year post goal, I STILL am struggling with food *issues*.

I was never under the illusion that weight loss would "solve" all my problem, but I did neglect to do any mental/emotional work when it came to my food issues along the way. The high of weight loss masked the problems and now that that high is gone, the problems are bubbling to the surface and it's quite painful. At first it was no big deal, lots of exercise kept the weight gain at bay. But a minor injury and a little burn out and a notch up in the binging department and 5 lbs have found there way back to me. 5 lbs no big deal right? Of course not, not a big deal at all. I know what to do, I know how to lose them, but if I don't get my emotional issues in check I will be battling them forever.

So anyway, I just wanted to say it because I know we are always obsessing about losing the weight and how many cals we should eat and how much we should exercise, but we neglect to talk about the deeper issues sometimes and if you haven't thought about yours in a while - I encourage you to!

Ok, off my soap box now.

You're not being dramatic ncuneo You are 100% correct. It is a HUGE fallacy that weight loss will solve body image problems (how many people say that if they just lost "X" pounds that they can go to this vacation/attend X event without self-esteem problems, etc).

I also struggle with this a lot after maintaining 7 years (and especially after having my baby). I may look small, I may be "normal", but every day, all day, every meal ~ is still a struggle. Maintenance is harder than loss, IMO.

i conquer.... over eating is not always the problem, alot of times its a eaction from the problem that lies deeper. I think there is always a balance to be found between physical weight loss and mental weight loss, its a journey that takes the two sides of the body and mind.
great advice, something to bare in mind for us all

Thank you for this thread.

I started having panic attacks the last time I was in the 270s. I got to 265, and I was completely freaked out. I quit dieting and regained 10 lbs. ( I then gained over 15 during the holidays.)

Leave it to a friend who knows my history to point out the obvious. Because of the way I carry my weight, I was wearing size 20 jeans, and I was approaching a very large normal...sizes where men who don't exclusively like BIG girls are interested. I was freaking out over the unwanted attention that really picks up for me at an 18.

I've come to terms with it, and I'm kicking at the door of the 270s again...and I don't feel the panic this time. I'd hate to have gotten to your size and then deal with it--I'm not sure I could have.

Thank you again.

Maintenance is definitely harder than loss for me. I have lost this enormous amount of weight so many times and always end up right back where I started. As long as I am losing I have willpower of steel and motivation out the yinyang. Seeing those numbers on the scale go down is like a high, it makes me feel so good about myself. Frankly I don't understand why people have such a hard time losing, and I'm sure people who know me wonder why on earth I'd put myself through the "hard part" only to throw it all away a few months later.

Once that is over, I get complacent. I stop weighing myself, I eat off-plan foods, I think I don't need to be on a diet anymore. Before I know it my pants don't fit anymore and I've gained 20 pounds. Having PCOS means that I gain easily, and carbs are a hellish roller coaster of cravings and gains for me. Then I get depressed because I already feel just as fat as I ever was and eat more, and don't get the motivation to do anything about it until the scale has a scary number on it once again.

Long story short lol-I SO get what you're saying and understand the need to deal with the emotional issues that allowed us to get fat in the first place.

My question is-how the eff do I do that?

I really am tired of it and want to change, it's why I'm here and trying again-I truly don't know how to fix it. I have clothes ranging from size 6 to 16 and can use them all in the course of a year.

I definitely think the mental journey is the biggest part of weight loss. Your body is really only a pawn. I had to re evaluate what I wanted out of life and why I was letting myself mindlessly eat day and night day after day. I was having panic attacks when I got so big, I was afraid to hold my head up, afriad to go to classes, and that is ultimitely why I quit college in my last semester. Yeah, there were other reasons, but deep down, that is why I made the call. Best decision ever. I get to focus on me now. I'm doing great, and I'm really trying to heal my soul.

Sadly, I understand exactly what you're saying.

I'm going through some serious mental stuff here, girls. I've been going up and down 10 pounds for...I don't know...several months. I keep losing and then getting complacent and/or eating away my emotions and I shoot back up!

Currently, though, I'm going through a very rude awakening in that my body isn't losing the 10 pounds this time. At least not the way it lost it before.

I almost feel like this is what I get for allowing myself to get complacent. I feel like my body is saying, "I'm done with the mini-yoyoing" and it's not letting go of the weight anymore. I'm so sad.

I thought I'd dealt with the mental stuff. I thought I had it beat. I didn't. I still want to sooth with food. I still battle every single day with this food issue...and I fail a lot. I still feel like total crap over this stupid 10 pounds (which also isn't normal).

I know one thing, though. When I lose this 10 pounds again, I'm NEVER going to forget how I feel right now. Forgetting is dangerous.

I feel this is why I have lost then regained. I recently took time off unsuccessfully trying to lose weight to deal with my food issues. Now I feel I'm in a much better frame of mind and have a better chance of maintaining my weightloss at this point.

I agree. However, I will say that I didn't even know what my issues were until my weight loss journey was well underway. The further I go in this lifestyle, the more I see how far I have to come to get the mental/emotional to match the physical.

This for me.

I didn't really feel like I had eating issues when I was overweight. I was over indulgent, no portion control, eating whatever and whenever I wanted. But I never binged/hoarded/restricted, etc. I wasn't really an emotional eater. I just enjoyed food and LET myself enjoy it.

When I was losing, I was very motivated by the loss each week. I enjoyed balancing my meals and getting healthier. I was working towards that goal weight. I still didn't have any issues with binges or anything of that nature. I was working towards a goal, I was happy, proud of myself, excited about being healthy and looking great. I planned treats and indulgences, but they were part of my "plan."

When I got to maintenance, I didn't really get complacent. I never stopped counting or watching portions. I honestly haven't stepped out of my maintenance range for nearly a year. I am proud of this, but my attitude towards the whole thing has changed, and NOT for the better. Suddenly, it's not about being healthy or even looking my best. It's about the number. I'm obsessed with staying within my maintenance range. I'm teetering on the high end of it now, and I hate it. I'm 129ish, and I want to be 126-127ish. WHY would such a ridiculously minute number frustrate me so much? It shouldn't. It's because all of that energy and excitement of seeing new low numbers is now re-focused into staying in my happy range.

So now, in maintenance, I am just now developing bad eating issues. Binges. Restricting to make up for binges (although I haven't done this for several months, thank goodness). Obsessing over a few stupid pounds on the scale number as opposed to how I feel or look. I've gotten more OCD about really really weird things (can't eat during commercials, have to eat all of one dish before moving onto the next, can't eat before a certain time, etc).

Honestly, I'm not sure what emotional issues are causing this. I know that my childhood led to some poor eating habits, but I don't think deep emotional baggage is causing these new poor eating behaviors. I think it's a control issue (the control could be a result of the emotional baggage/my childhood, I suppose). When I was losing, I knew how and what to control and I was seeing direct results. Now, I'm not really working toward a goal, but I still want to control, control, control.

Mine really can't be solved... of course I want to get down to my goal weight for a healthy life style. I miss being skinny. However, the reason I gained weight was from depression because I have an ugly face. I was 105 in High School, fit sizes 4,5 and sometimes 6. I felt good because I was thin and loved shopping. But people kept making fun of me for having an ugly face. I got depressed, started eating a lot. Once I was fat, I didn't care because I told myself, why does it matter anyway? No guy will want me whether I am skinny or fat because of my face. I had small hopes when I was 15 that I would look pretty when I was an adult though and no one would ever make fun of me again.

I've lost weight, only because I got scared when I saw the scale. Last thing I cared about at that point was my face because I was upset that I had gone from a tiny little thing into overweight. So I started working out and I am fairly thin now. Not as small as I was, though I am hoping I will be. I fit in size 6, but still have a belly. My face however, is still not pretty. So my hopes ten years ago (I am 24) now never came true. I still have a plain to ugly face. So I am still kind of unhappy about that. I just kind of hope if I keep working out and get a hot body, I will be looked at but I don't know. The face is what attracts men, and then personality. I'm considered a butter face. It kind of sucks. I can't change my face unless I am willing to fork out a bunch of money for plastic surgery. However, I don't really think plastic surgery is a good thing, so I wouldn't even if I had money.

So even once I get to my goal weight again, I am still going to be unhappy because of my face.

This is my biggest fear. The fear of maintenance. The fear my binging will rear its ugly head after not having ONE relapse since I started my journey.

I panic just thinking about it. I just keep telling myself I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. And I keep lowering my goal weight just so that bridge gets farther away. But you are right. This is something that needs to be addressed RIGHT NOW. I just don’t know how. And I’m afraid of switching my focus from losing weight to why I gained it in the first place.

I’m feeling weak today, can’t you tell? *sigh* I just don’t see how I can do it all and still succeed.

Ashley, my heart hurts for you

All I can say is that
1) We always think the worst of ourselves, your face may be different from your friends', but that doesn't mean it's ugly
2) Have you talked to a counselor?
3) I have had my nose done (it was broken when I was in HS). In addition to having it re-set, I had them tweak its shape. It's painful but worth it. I breathe infinitely better than I did before, and my nose fits with my face much better.

There is so much support here, please know that you are among friends!

For me weigth control has always been a problem as I love eatting.

ncuneo, thank you so much for this thread. It is so true. I got to my goal weight about 15 years ago. I lost a little over 100 pounds and thought that would solve most of my problems, boy was I wrong. There is no doubt that the much improved physical health aspect is priceless but like you said dealing with your emotional issues is immensely important. I think alot of the reasons that I have not been successful in keeping it off, I have gained it all back, is that I know the intense feelings I felt when I got to goal weight. It is a feeling that is hard to explain. It feels like, yeah, I finally got to my goal weight and then there is a "honeymoon" period that lasts a little while but then when it is over it is like being smothered in a way, that is probably too dramatic, but the emotions and memories were quite fordable . In my adult life I had never really dealt with any of my emotional issues because in some ways I didn't know what they were but when you strip away the thing(binging) that keeps that "Pandora's box" sealed you have no choice.

I think the only way that I am going to be successful this time is to realize the things that I have learned and also take some "mind time" as well as dieting and exercising . "Mind time" being taking some time to get my mind away but not off of the dieting and exercising and thinking about my mental self and taking care of any emotions that come up along the way.