So yesterday I was thinking about how much I don’t do in my life that I would do if I was slim..

One thing is going to Dolphin Cove here.. I have always wanted to go to this place and my DH has asked me several times why we don't go and I always blame it on the cost.. but actually I've been afraid of squeezing into the wet suits you have to wear..

Another thing is just going to ANY water park… I’ve NEVER been to a water park EVER because I am so ashamed of my thighs - I hold all my weight in my thighs and hips and now they are even worse because they are wrinkled a bit from the weight I have lost so far.

I was watching Ruby yesterday on TV and she weighs I think around 360 pounds now and went to a water park in LA! OMG.. I can’t imagine.. she rode ALL the rides on national TV. It blew me away and this is what started me thinking about how much I don’t do in my life because I feel like a fat outcast.

She even rode this very, very high water flume type ride.. it was 150 steps to the top.. I am not even sure I could do that walk up those steps.. it actually made my cry just watching it because I can imagine the emotional and mental push it took her to do it.

It got me to thinking and I am going to push myself seriously out of my comfort zone this year! I already got in a Kayak very recently and I am doing more of that this year (that was another thing that I had never done because I was afraid I could not get in and out of one). So many things.. like riding a bike (I bought a new bike last month and have only ridden it on one day.. how screwed up is that?).. I am changing some of these things this year.

What don't you do that you can make an effort to do this year?

Recently we had a group play date with some other families and we went to a swimming pool. We had been invited before, but there was no way I was putting on a bathing suit around these people. I felt much better about it this time.

There were lots of things I didn't do because I was fat and it was too hard or I didn't think I could. Now I find I have more confidence, and energy and strength, so I'm making a conscious effort not to let that happen any longer. A good example was 2 summers ago my company paid for us all to go on an outdoor adventure type thing where you do tree-top trekking and zip-lining. I didn't participate because I was too big (there was a 250lb max) however, others did participate even though I suspect they weighed more than me, and now I wish I'd done it too.

Angie,

Thank you for your post.
It got me to thinking about having more more confidence. I need to work on that too.

I agree with what you said about making a conscious effort to change these things. I think I have become so used to this way of thinking that I don't even consider some things.

I hope you get a chance to do that zip line again! Maybe you should just do it for yourself. My mother (69 years old) just went on one recently in Mexico. She has not stopped talking about it. She's one fierce lady.

Thank you for your post!

The amazing thing is that you will start to enjoy and experience those things well before hitting goal. I started to feel on top of the world around 200 pounds and I felt normal at 185. I remember 185 because that's where I was at the beginning of last Summer when I ventured to the local amusement park for the first time since losing weight. I was blown away by the most mundane things. I nearly cried walking into the place when I discovered I fit through the turn stile without hopping over it or turning sideways. If they'd have let me I would have just walked in and out of the turn stiles for a half hour. Plus if you exercise along the way, you will build strength and endurance for those activities you are wanting to do.

The best example I can give you of an activity I'd have wanted to do but wouldn't have been able to do a year and a half ago was the caving adventure I just went on last weekend. I went spelunking and it was hard! I wouldn't have FIT in the cave back then. And I wouldn't have had the strength to make that body climb. It was one of the best experiences of my life and I'd have missed it.

A year and a half ago I wouldn't have gone on a two hour hike with my best friend through the woods at our old college. Did that yesterday.

A year and a half ago I couldn't have gone a 26 mile bike ride on a trail that used to be a railway. It's beautiful!

Shoot, a year and a half ago my two best friends and I couldn't go to the symphony and sit side by side because we were too fat to sit in those tiny seats. I can only imagine what we looked like when we tried. We had to put a seat between each of us.

Runundefined -- I think I will book the zip line thing again just for me, I might save that as a little mini reward when I get to ONEderland

Hi Eliana!

Thank you for this amazing post!
It really made me smile. I know EXACTLY what you felt about that turnstyle!

Angie..
I see your blog... you have the same background I do... I am your first follower!

lol -- thank you! I just started it on Thursday

I miss out on all sorts of things and that is why I am doing this. My sons 5 and 2 want to do things like going to our aquatic center, running through the park playing tag, going on bike rides, hiking in the mountain. It ashames me that I am not able to do these things YET with my boys. Soon though

I'm hoping to ride a bike this year if I can afford to get one. I love my stationary recumbent, but I'd love to ride outside. I haven't in the past just because I feel like I'd make a spectacle of myself. a fat friend who was smaller than me rode once and the neighbor frat guys yelled at her "hey don't pop the tires!" I would die.

I want to run in June too.

Gosh, there are so many things I haven't done/don't do because I'm too fat. These are the major ones though:
1. Never worn a two piece bathing suit (I did when I was a toddler, but that doesn't count!) - when all of my friends are skinny minis that live in bikinis in the summer!
2. Never learned to drive a stick shift - Ok, what does that have to do with my weight you might ask? I think it's that I lack confidence and this probably sounds crazy but I feel like if I ever got in an accident, people would be like what a fat ***, she can't even drive!
3. Working out in the gym - ok, so I did it occasionally when I was in the States but I feel like a total dumbass the whole time. One of my (very fit) friends told me once that he was glad when the New Year's fatties stopped clogging up the gym!

Lottie I TOTALLY hear you on the bike thing! I have this beautiful bike that is sitting in the basement because I'm so afraid that someone is going to look at me riding it and think what is that whale doing on a bike?? Are those spokes bending?! lol

Pochamma,

I can SO relate to your entire post... Joining a Gym is something else I have NEVER done because of my being so uncomfortable in my own skin.

Ugg.. sorry about that comment your friend made! He prob. didn't know it would set into your mind and stay there, I don't think half the things that stick with us are ever meant to hurt us.

So many of us have issues with bikes! I bought a brand new one a month ago and was so discusted that I could not even ride 10 minutes that I have not been back on it yet.

I wait until my college-aged son goes to school or work before doing any exercise video. I told him this, and he totally didn't get it. I said it's because overweight people experience a lot of unwanted comments and attention when we exercise in public, and we end up believing we're somehow not welcome to do that.

What I don't get is, people will yell "lose weight!" if you're NOT exercising, yet they make fun of you if you are? Those double standards make me so angry.

I am comfortable biking, and have been at any weight. When my son was a kid, I used to go to the beach and swimming with him. I never felt out of place, because I was a mom and that's what moms do. Now that he is older, I don't go to the beach because I feel like the context of "mom" is gone and don't want to seen as being open to being picked up or something. I am considering a water-aerobics class, though.

I would like to go horseback riding. The last time I looked into it, they had a weight requirement that I didn't meet. My mom suggested I ask them if they have a Clydesdale. LOL!

I am continuously floored by some of the horrible things you ladies have heard. What are people thinking, seriously? Popping bike tires? Fatties in the gym? Honestly, most people are not like this. How exactly do they expect us "fatties" to lose weight if we don't ride bikes or go to the gym?

Here's my gym experience. We had some people join the gym in January who were definitely carrying some weight. Now, in March, there really aren't any heavy people at the gym anymore. Wanna know why? Because they lost the weight!! These people have dropped 30-40 pounds already! Hello! That's what gyms are for!

Rant over....sorry.

As I have gotten older, the things I don't do because of fat are fewer and fewer. I joined the Y. I'm the biggest one in my Zumba class and I don't care, I'm there dancing. I wanted to swim at the Y pool so I got a tankini with shorts for the bottom so the flabby tops of my thighs don't show. I don't know how young you are, but I can tell you that back in the 70s when I was single it was rare to see anybody who was fat. Now in 2011 I think there are more overweight than normal weight sadly. Don't let your weight stop you from living right now, tomorrow you might not be here.