My boyfriend's little girl went to stay at her grandads (on her mums side) on sunday night to stay over. He doesn't make much effort with Grace (the little 'un), and I could probably count on one hand the number of times he has had her to stay a night in the past year.

When he (the grandad) took Grace home on monday he said to her, before leaving, that by the next time he sees her, he hopes she will have lost some weight!

She is FOUR! She is quite tall for her age. Shes in age 7-8 yr olds clothes. She's a normal healthy energetic little girl. She eats fairly healthily and gets alot of exercise. Yes, she has baby fat. No she is not fat! And she doesn't need to lose weight!

I'm so so so angry at him for saying that to her. I know she won't have understood what he was saying. She's too young to know about dieting, etc. We just try to teach her healthy habits. But when I heard about this I just got worried that she could get body conscious to young.

I remember, aged 5 or 6, telling my mum that I was going on a diet and that I was fat. And since that age I've always been conscious of my size. I was skinny and athletic until I was about 13/14 when alot changed in my life.

I just love her so much and I would hate for her to look in the mirror and be upset with what she saw. She makes me laugh because right now shes in love with her own reflection. I have to drag her away from the mirror alot of the time because shes looking at herself so much! I hope that feeling of loving her body never goes away for her.

Wow Jess! I can't believe he said that!

We have a somewhat similar situation with my neice. She is 5, will be 6 this summer, and yes, she has more than just baby fat though... Apparently she weighs like 65 lbs and the doctor put her on a diet!

Now, my own daughter was a chunky monkey when she was an infant through 3 years old. My doctor made sure I wasn't feeding her junk, and when he was satisfied with that, then he said she will grow into when she starts walking, running, jumping and being the little monkey that she is.

And that is exactly what happened!

Unfortunately with my neice, I know she is eating junk and drinking too much juice. I tried to warn my brother that she wasn't getting enough physical activity and eating too much junk (he would give her two full bowls of cereal in the monring, for example!) but you know how reactive you can be when someone tells you something like that.

But for your little girl's grandfather to say something like that? Pfftt... that's uncalled for. I'm sorry he said that.. and I'm sure she won't notice it. My neice didn't start noticing her weight until she was 5. And even then, the seed had been planted because her mom tells her if she gets fat she can't play.

People are stupid.

LR

They most definitely are stupid!

Like you said, itsnot like shes eating junk. Obviously I can't control what she eats when shes at her mums house. I know that alot of the time she gives her macaroni cheese out of a tin, or hot dogs, or plain pasta or whatever. But at least 3/4 days of the week she eats well and runs around at the park/plays on the wii/creates havoc like kids should.

No little girl should hear that from her granddad! That's a despicable thing to say to her. She's only four, and she's still growing! It's good that she loves the way she looks though-and I think it's great that you're helping to teach her that loving yourself is a great way to be.

When my soon to be 6 year old was an infant the nurse weighed and measured him and commented on his weight. He was WELLLLL over the 95th percentile - for both weight and height. The doctor heard this and pretty much set her straight in a professional, yet stern voice. He said, "sure he's a big boy, but he's proportional. It's nice to see such a big strong healthy boy"

By BMI charts he's overweight, but no doctor has EVER said this was an issue. He's an outlyer. The kid is HUGE - big hands, big feet, tall, big hips, chest, shoulders, etc. He just isn't in the normal BMI range.

Sorry, thsi wasn't about your situation, but it struck a nerve.

I agree with Berry that even health professionals get a a skewed idea of what's healthy for kids from time to time. At my daughters 6 month check up, she weighed in at 15.3 pounds. The nurse said "Oh that's a big girl!" I kinda gave her the stink eye but kept my mouth shut. Sure enough, the doctor said she was in the 25th percentile on height and weight, so, very proportional. Meh!

If the comment didn't register or bother her, I wouldn't mention it to avoid drawing attention to it. If it becomes a problem, I would just reinforce healthy foods, exercise and what it means to be fit.

Regarding the grandfather, I would just make mention that she just had a physical and the doctors stated her weight is fine or something along those lines. I usually try utilize a professional's opinion to back my own up so people can't be as dismissive. It's hard dealing with families, especially extended ones.

I suppose I shouldn't be worried because she isn't. But if she was just a little bit older something like that could have affected her. Some people need to engage their brain before they open their mouth!

Did you say anything to the granddad about what he said or is it awkward because it is your boyfriends family (kind of)

I've not even MET him before! He's my boyfriends ex-father-in-law. I've heard about this second hand.

what a jerk...my Dad did major damage to my self esteem when I hit puberty and got curves...I was 36-26-36 and weighed 125 lbs and he constantly told me a had a fat butt....my two step sisters were stick thin 100 pound size zero's....I wish family members would think about the damage they cause before saying things...