Quote:
Originally Posted by Joszac
I should have lost 30 pounds by now!" Again I'm happy with the weight lost but I swear I AM MY WORST ENEMY.
We're taught to be. Every one of us. We don't know what reasonable weight loss is, and shows like The Biggest Loser are only making it worse.
When I'd only lost about 40 lbs, or so I griped to my doctor that I was only losing 1 lb per month and that I "should be able to lose at least 2 lbs a week like normal people."
My doctor set me straight saying it isn't normal to lose 2 lbs a week. It's "normal" to give up and gain it all back and then some.
We're taught to see failure where there is actually awesome success. Losing 2 lbs a month is awesome, but you won't ever see a magazine cover proclaiming "lose 2 lbs a month." Even if you only have 5 lbs to lose, 2 lbs a month seems lame and pitiful (even though 90% of the people who want to lose weight aren't losing nearly that much).
You can choose to see failure, because it's what "everyone else does" or you can choose to see success.
If losing less than 2 lbs per week is failure, then I've "failed" off every one of my 88 lbs.
Frustration is only possible when expectations do not meet results. We act as if frustration is unavoidable, but it isn't. You can easily avoid frustration, just by changing your expectations. You can choose to lower your expectations, or you can even choose to have no expectations.
For the first 40 lbs, I had no expectations of weight loss, whatsover. My doctor had prescribed a low-carb diet (warning me not to go too low, but admitting he had no idea how low that was). I didn't put much effort in at all. I almost was daring myself to fail. I made small changes, only those I thought I could commit to whether or not any weight loss at all resulted.
The weight loss was like a free bonus.
Weight loss isn't a behavior - it's a consequence of behavior. You only have control over behavior, not it's results.
This is important, because if you're following a plan that doesn't yield the results you want, you're going to feel like you've failed, even if you've successfully followed your plan. You only have control over what you have control over, so make your success contingent upon what you have control over. You can tweak your plan to improve the likelihood of getting the result you want, but you still only have control over what you have control over.
I've learned that I can focus on my plan, and let the weight take care of itself. Making weight loss about meeting a weekly goal, always drives me batty. I end up seeing more failure than success (and when you see more failure than success, eventually you feel like a failure and give up).
Focus on your food and exercise plan. If you've stayed on plan, you've succeeded (even if no weight loss resulted). If after a month on plan, you've not lost weight or think you can do better, then adjust your plan, but remember that if you've stayed on plan, you've succeeded. If you've lost anything, you've succeeded. If you've maintained a weight loss (even of 1 lb) you've succeeded.
So many of us think we're nearly in "last place" having no clue that we're actually doing far better than 90% of dieters. We think we're failing, when we're succeeding faster and better than most people, but because we compare ourselves to someone on The Biggest Loser (where a week isn't always a week, and their weight loss strategies are often dangerous), we think we're wimpy failures.
See the success. Seeing success makes the process so much more enjoyable.