I feel like I failed terribly...

  • I went on WW 2 years ago and lost 30 lbs, I worked out and was in the best shape of my life...I also quit drinking and smoking and felt great..as a result I got the confidence to leave my abusive husband and get a life. I had to move into a smaller apt and while doing work in the apt, I blew 2 discs in my back!!! Just as I was getting it together, the bottom fell out...My father got ill, my husband gave me a hard time and wouldn't sign divorce papers, my back wasout and I was in agony so I started to not care anymore...I started drinking and smoking again, the weight slowly crept up. My Dad's illness worsened and he passed away..I went into overdrive...it's been 5 months and I feel gross..many people would say I'm not fat, but to me I feel worthless..I have allowed my weight to define who I am and I'm sick of it..I have started WW again today and will make an effort to excercise again..I know I am a beautiful, talented woman..I just have to start to really believe it..does anyone feel like I do???
  • I think a lot of us beat ourselves up. And you've been through a lot! Treat yourself the way you would a good friend. You got to a place you liked before, and since you already know the way, I'm sure you can get back there again. You can do it!
  • Sure! Most of my life, my self worth has been defined on what I can do- for others. How much I'm needed... and the more I'm needed, the more self worth I have... except that's no way to live. And I've bent over backwards trying to make everyone happy, from teachers, to my (now ex) husband, to my parents, and employers. It hasn't gotten me far. It's mostly gotten me a load of heartache, stress and emotional upheaval.

    So great for you for getting out of an abusive relationship! I've been there, and it is so easy to beat yourself up and feel guilty for being in that situation in the first place. Don't! It's important you got out! Many women don't. So give yourself a hug for that

    I'm sorry for your father's passing. It is so difficult. My father passed almost 5 years ago. It gets easier, but the sadness and some pain will always be there. Eventually, there will be more and more happy memories, as opposed to sad emotions when you think of him.

    I think maybe you should look into some positive self affirmations. You might not feel it to be true at first. You might feel silly saying to yourself "I am a beautiful, smart, intelligent and talented woman! And I love myself for who I am, not what others think of me!" ... and say it multiple times throughout any given day.. but fake it til you make it! And one day, you won't need to say those beautiful kind things to yourself.. because you will know it to be true!

    LR
  • You haven't "failed!" So you regained some weight and fell back into unhealthy yet comforting habits during stressful times...it sounds like you are ready to recommit to healthy changes. They will come. In the meantime, believe it! Weight isn't everything, but the way losing weight and making positive changes makes you feel will have you strutting your stuff with confidence again in no time.
  • Weight loss is hard. Maintaining the loss is also hard... even in the best of times. Please don't feel like you failed. The only failure is in giving up!