Hey ladies. I'm starting to think I might have a mental illness with losing weight.
Like I told you all, I have made the decision to stop dieting and just live a healthy lifestyle and still allow myself to indulge and just hope the weight comes off over time.
But its so annoying. Today they had peanut butter cup ice cream cake at work for two coworkers birthdays. I wasn’t going to eat it. I even ate popcorn and string cheese before so I wouldn’t be tempted. I don’t like to go off too bad with food when I know I will be drinking that night. But then I was like, wait , I am trying to just live now and enjoy life and not worry about every damn thing I put in my mouth. So I had a small piece. But of course even a small piece is HORRIBLE.
Im frustrated because I want to be able to have that little slice without freaking out, getting anxiety or worrying. What is wrong with me!?!? Its so frustrating. I know im not going to gain weight from it but I just freak out and get such anxiety. Its like I cant just let go and live. I KNOW HOW to live healthy. I know that allowing myself that little indulgence isnt a bad thing at all! But I still get the anxiety from it.
Anywhoo, it brought my cals up to 1975, fat at 65, carbs at 150, sugars at 63and protein at 127! I know it could be worse and I wont gain with those stats, but it still freaks me out. What is wrong with me!?
I really just need to learn to be content NOW with my lifestyle. Its so hard for me. At service the other day at church it really hit home. He was talking about how we always want more. Then when we get it, we want more and more and more. We are never satisified and wont be until we learn to be content with now and what we have NOW. It made me really think about my dieting. I am a very healthy girl (knock on wood) . I have a lot to be thankful for so i have no reason to not be happy now! But I still get anxiety when I let myself indulge. I guess secretly I am hoping I can still lose with these little indulges but I know in reality i cant..
Any words of comfort?