I remember a story my dad once told of his "wild single days" in the Air Force. Seems there was this one stripper who wore tassles, she could get one going to the right and the other going to the left, at the same time. Janice, this could be a new line of work for you....or maybe not.
This makes me think of my well endowed friend 'Sharon'. 'Sharon' had a son about 4 years old, and his 6 year old friend was over to visit. They somehow stormed in the bathroom while Sharon was bending over drying off from her shower and the friend yells 'Heyyyyyy what are those long things hanging off of your mama!?' His Mom was really flat chested and he was scared to death.