My goal is to get healthier, but I'm not considering myself to be on a diet, per se. If I am hungry, I will eat. I will just make better choices. I will try to do some form of exercise everyday. That's all fine and dandy, but I'm noticing I worry about where my 'hunger' is leading me for the day. All my choices are good choices, but I don't like seeing high totals at the end of the day.

So, here I am right now and my iphone app for MyNetDiary tells me that I've eaten 1000 calories so far today. I still haven't had dinner and it's 5 pm. So, I'm looking at that and thinking, "Oh man, I've already eaten 1000 calories, means I have to eat a lighter dinner." I like it when I eat closer to 1500 calories than higher.

But why???? According to a couple of online sites, I can eat over 2000 calories to maintain my current weight with NO added exercise. Well, I exercise for an hour every day, so I 'could' eat up to about 2300 calories a day and maintain. So, really, eating 1800 calories a day and exercising is a GOOD balanced day, but when I eat 1800 calories, I feel like I'm throwing away a bit of a weight loss.

I told myself I'm not dieting, but that's a dieting mentality! I've eaten 1000 calories so far today and I'm still hungry, so I should eat for my hunger, making good choices and not concern myself if I end at 1500, 1600, 1700 or 1800 - as all those are good numbers, but my mind is beginning to say, "less is better" and I'm liking the 1.5-2 pounds a week I'm losing. On one hand I'm telling myself that slow and steady is FINE, on the other, I'm pushing myself to go faster, in a heathy way. Why??? it took me years to get to this weight, why am i concerned if it takes 1 year or 2 years to take it all off? I don't want to start obsessing about calories. This is supposed to be a lifestyle change, not a competition with myself to do better every day. Why is it turning into that???

Anyone else? or am i not even making sense?

You're not alone.

My biggest problem is patience. One thing to keep in mind (which is obvious) is that it is easier to maintain weight than to lose it. Thus, being inpatient what works best for me is periods of higher restriction and planned diet breaks.

Well for one, those online calculators are way high. I wouldn't trust them. If 1500 is working for you, then I'd stay there. If it isn't, then you could try 1600 or 1700.

Also, you ate 1000 calories between 2 meals and now are worried about a single meal? It seems right on track to me?

See, and I know that. I have a good meal left in there, so why am I stressing?

And, I don't think those calorie trackers are high for me. I used to eat WAY more and I was maintaining and I didn't exercise. I've been losing 2 lbs a week and most of this 7 weeks I've been eating 1700-1800 calories average. I walk fast for an hour every day.

Everything you said makes sense and I can relate- except that I do see what I am doing as a diet. I usually make good decisions but I have a definate plan and sometimes I am angry at myself for straying from my plan.

I really want to be at about 1500 calories everyday, about 100g of protein, under 100g net carbs. It doesn't always happen- and if it doesn't I don't beat myself up. I only beat myself up when I MESS up- like a late night bowl of cereal or snacking to eat and not b/c I am hungry (I tend to do that at night). When I go over I feel like it is a cushion b/c the tracking website I use says I should have more calories. I don't make a habit of eating back my exercise calories- but I feel like it is a cushion for me.

I do find it easier to stick to my eating plan when I see that I am loosing weight. I tend to want to cheat more when I have been stagnant a couple of days- which doesnt make sense. But that is why I tend to want to hit the 1500 calorie mark rather than go over it...I see results faster- thus stay more committed.

i'm the same way. there's really no explanation for it -- it's irrational, disordered thinking. i'm on a 1200 calorie diet and i've convinced myself that if i even attempt to eat 1500 calories a day, my weight will come rushing back to me. it's a definite hurdle.

during the month of december, my restricting got so bad due to lack of gym access that i was averaging 700-800 calories a day. i'm paying for that now.

what helps me is coming here and reading how many people really do lose by eating 1500-1800 a day, and eventually i'll be brave enough to pick up that amount. probably when i'm closer to goal weight, but still!

good luck -- it's certainly tough.

thats the battle i am fighting in my mind right now, i just don't see how you can eat so much and lose, lol. my calculations to lose 2 pounds a week are a little over 2300 a day, so i am going to try to get near that, i had been at 1500 to 1700...so im going to try it for a week or two and see how it goes. too bad there isn't a blood test or something that says.. eat x amount to lose x amount..ha

Maybe look at what you are eating each day and how that food is making you feel. Do more carbs make you hungrier? Does more protein keep you filled up more? How to fats affect your appetite?

Maybe experiment a little within the 1500 calories.

I feel the exact same way a lot of the time. Even though my goal is 1500 calories, I still feel like lower = better; furthermore, I feel guilty if I eat over 1500 calories, even though I can eat up to 2100 without gaining. It helps me to have three different numbers in mind--my ideal, 1-2 lb./week weight loss number (1500); my slower, more subtle weight-loss number (~1800); and my maintenance number for around the weight range I am now (~2100). Yesterday, I aimed for 1500 calories, but ate about 1800-1900, and I felt really bad and like I failed until I reminded myself that that is still a weight loss number. I still felt bad buuuut it helped me from feeling like a failure, y'know?

Part of me is totally rational about this, knowing that the weight will come off eventually if I continue to keep my head around food. Another part of me really wants to wear a bikini by summer. I have to keep the latter part of me subordinate to the rational part or else I'm going to get frustrated, blow it, and neither side will win.

I too do not consider myself on a diet, I am currently doing the HMR at home program through Hackley Health Management's website. I can eat all the fruits and veggies my big mouth can open to. I drink their shakes for my breakfast which I love and I have an entree for dinner with another boat load of fruits and veggies. They do not count calories and I am good with that as I have a personality that would drive me nuts and I would fail. Even if your not into a set program think about keeping your portions small as you are and filling up on a lot of water, fruits, and veggies and you will be a success. Keep in touch.

About five years ago, I discovered that I had lost 20 lbs in the previous 6 to 8 months without trying due to medications and treatment for sleep apnea. It was an astonishing discovery, and I wanted to find a way to maintain the loss - dieting had always caused me eventually to gain more than I lost, so I knew I couldn't "diet" in the way I always had. I had to discover an "undiet."

I decided I would only make changes that I was willing to commit to indefinitely even if no weight loss resulted at all.

It actually took me two years to start losing. I did maintain the initial 20 lbs (in itself a small miracle), but I made other amazing health benefits.

When I discovered low-carb and began experimenting, I started losing, and learning that low-carb controlled my hunger better than any other plan I'd ever been on. I couldn't eat Atkins induction level without making myself sick, but on a moderately low carb plan I felt amazing and not hungry - for the first time in my life.

I still catch myself falling into old "diet" habits, but usually I recognize it fairly quickly and move on.

I definitely have what you are describing, and I consider it part of my "all or nothing" mentality. I'm starting to even out with it, but there are some weeks I get on the scale, and I find my old mindset about it all creeping back. If I lost, I start thinking, "hmmm, what can I cut to make it faster?" And if I don't lose, I start thinking "hmmm, what can I cut to LOSE next week". The danger in that, of course, is getting too crazy with it all and getting to that unsustainable point where I just throw in the towel and go back to my old ways.

Consider it part of the learning process. I get caught up in my own progress, and sometimes I have to really pinch myself and remind myself that what I've done so far has been on a very reasonable, satisfying plan. NO NEED to overrestrict and make myself crazy over it, it's working!

It is hard to keep it 'real'. I'm not calling this a diet because it's a lifestyle change. For the rest of my life I will need to exercise and watch the simple carbs because I'm developing blood sugar issues. But I have turned it into a diet of sorts as I am eating less calories than I started. In the beginning I was eating 1800-2000 calories. Now I rarely get to 1800 and like to keep it at 1500-1700 and I do go to bed hungry most nights and I start to wonder, "is this a good thing or not?" My initial goal (and the one I am still holding myself to) was to lose 50 pounds in a year. Nothing drastic, slow and steady. But, in 7 weeks I've lost 15 lbs and I could lose ALL of it within this year if I keep up that pace, or even slow down at the end, the last 10-15 pounds.

Why did I speed it up when it's going against what I set out to do? I think because I could and still feel satisfied enough. You get caught up in the looser fitting clothes, in seeing the scale go down consistently. Fortunately, I don't get all worked up with small gains from normal fluctuations, but still... this became more of a diet than I ever intended and I need to keep myself in check to not let it get to be too much.