A couple of years ago I was involved in a
GREAT youth group. My grandmother would take
me to church every Sunday, I had fantastic pastors,
and I loved the support I felt in my church.
But then my youth group leaders moved to
a different state and the youth group broke
up, sadly. My grandmother also moved away
which only pulled me further away from the church.
My mother isn't religious, the rest of my family
isn't religious, and soon my relationship with Christ ended.
My faith has been tested in ways that has
brought me so much sorrow and for the last
two years I've been a mess; disordered and lost.
Here I am now, 16 years old and ready to
rekindle my love with the Lord and the church.
My friend is helping me through this; sharing
with me daily bible verses, openly talking to
me about my struggles, helping me build this
ever-lasting relationship with Christ
that I desperately want and need.
I'm still hanging on God, trusting You.
I am a Christian, I sin. I struggle with
my faith even though I know God is
always there. I have doubts, anger,
grief but I also have love, forgiveness,
and compassion. I get lonely even
though I have a God who loves me,
willing to meet me at any given moment.
I have a testimony even though
sometimes I forget how much Christ
truly saved me. I am scared of the
future even though I have a promise
he will always be with me. I have been
given more than I will ever deserve yet
sometimes I focus too much on what
I don’t have. I am called to be Christ’s
hands and feet though sometimes I’m
too wrapped up in my own world to notice
someone else in need. I’ve been known
to speak hate instead of love. I am
guilty of seeing someones flaws first
instead of looking for the beauty. I am
a Christian, I sin. I am such a mess.
But I am God’s mess. That gives me
hope, the fact that through all my
shortcomings He still claims me and
speaks love over me. The fact that
in my sin He still calls my name.
Tonight, for the first time in two years, I will pray to Him.
Please, pray for me. 
