Hello! This is my first thread here - yay!

Anywho!... My boyfriend and I have been discussing having a "cheat day" for Valentine's Day. We'd like to go out to eat and enjoy some food and drinks. Is this okay?

I used to (on past diets) give myself one cheat day a month - where I could eat whatever I wanted. On my 21st birthday last year, however, that day lasted into the weekend which lasted into the rest of the year (October thru December). I just restarted my diet commitment on January 3rd. Since January 3rd, I haven't eaten above my daily 1,200 calorie allowance.

I guess my question is... are cheat days a good idea? Do you all have good/bad experiences with them? Is it better to have a cheat meal rather than a whole day? Should the meal be whatever you want or just a little added treat? Is there a limit to the calories you can consume? I have heard that cheat days can be somewhat of a restart of your metabolism and some people even do them once a week.

My once-a-month cheat days were nice for me because any food I craved during the month I would say "Well, I'll have it on my cheat day" - this seemed to work really well because come cheat day I'd forget all of the foods I had craved and I never ate them. This was my way of not letting the cravings get the best of me.

But after my birthday and going a little crazy for the next couple months (with food) I'm a little afraid of starting cheat days again.

I'd just like to hear what has worked/not worked for you all when it comes to cheat days.

Thanks!

Personally, I don't think you should look at it as a cheat day. If you're going about a lifestyle change there's nothing to cheat on. Instead look at it as a special occasion where you can treat yourself. But try not to give yourself the whole day because that's a calorie bomb waiting to happen. When you go out to dinner with your bf, get something that looks pretty healthy. Have a salad and a glass of water first to fill up so you'll eat less of the entree. Maybe ask for half of it immediately in a doggie bag if they're known to have huge portions, maybe skip the appetizer, and share the dessert but really savor it so half of it seems like more than enough. Even better get one of those samplers they do sometimes and share that. Have drinks and have fun and don't berate yourself for eating more than you normally do. Just try and make some moderately healthy decisions.
IMO cheat days rarely work for long because it's in the mindset that it's okay to go out and binge, which is what usually happens for me, when I want to teach myself what normal portion sizes are and what healthy eating really is.

Personally, I don't think "cheat day" is a good idea -- it's better to think of it as a "maintenance day" or a "small gain day." If you usually have a calorie deficit of 800 a day, for example, maybe on Valentine's day you'll have a calorie deficit of 0. Maybe you really want to gorge yourself so you commit to being ok with an extra 500 calories on top of that. It's still only 1/7 lb gain (more or less). Just know what you're doing so you're accountable to it the day before or after.

I understand the temptation to think "this doesn't count," but for me it's really important to log everything and allow myself to have slip-ups as long as I remember that they happened and write them down. So there are no "cheat days," only "higher budget" days.

Cheat days are totally fine - as long as you don't start looking for excuses to make every day a cheat day.

I'm a big proponent of just doing what you feel like that day. Since you've been sticking strictly to plan I can't imagine you wanting to go too far off on your cheat day. Yes it's important to stay focused and not backslide/undo all your progress, but I think it's also important to live your life so that you're not putting off enjoying yourself until you reach goal weight.

A cheat item, yes, an entire day? I dont think its a good idea when you have just started making big changes. The idea of changing your life to be healthy is really an all encompassing thing. So yes, of course enjoy a special drink and split a dessert but I think having an indulgent breakfast lunch an dinner is a very slippery slope!

I calorie count, so maybe you would think of what I do as having a "cheat day" every week. I average 1300 calories 6 days a week, then I have one day a week where I allow myself to have as much as 1800 calories. I think 1800 calories is around my maintenance level, so I am ok with that. That one day of the week where I eat 1800 calories lets me relax a little, but since I still count my calories I know that I'm not going too crazy. I usually use that high-calorie day for the days when I get a rare date with my husband, or get to eat out with friends.

I think you have a couple of options. You could do as another poster suggested and just allow yourself another few hundred calories that day so that you have no calorie deficit that day and so that you can enjoy the food you're indulging in.

Another option is to go to a really fancy restaurant- I'm talking the $80 a person kind. That way you can get a four-course meal with a wide variety of yummy foods, but the portions are really small. It will feel like an indulgence because it will be- You will pay a lot of money, you will dress up, you will have a long, fun meal where you are served and treated like royalty, and you will go over your 1200-calorie daily meal allotment. I'll bet you don't go over by THAT much, though, and it will be a date to remember. Here's what my husband and I did on our anniversary: http://micahandchristine.us/2010/08/27/03-19-38

Regardless of what you decide, as long as you get right back on plan the next day I think you're gonna be fine!

I absolutely have days where I do not count calories. I do not go crazy, though, and still try to eat in a healthy way. Staying perfectly on plan works for some people, but it does not work for me...its just not a way that I want to live the rest of my life. Everyone can benefit from a indulgence in their life some days!

Just KNOW that you're going to do it, KNOW what your plan is to get back on your eating plan, and hold yourself accountable. Also know that your day or meal may cause a jump in the scale, and don't be discouraged. If you have any worries that the slope is too slippery or that you will not return to your healthy eating plan, then I would not do it.

For me, this is my life - I'm going to live it! Personally, a life where I never get to indulge ONCE IN A WHILE is not a life that I want to lead. So I do! And I've still managed to be successful in weight loss.

I also have a problem with keeping a "cheat" day just one day. It often turns into longer periods of time where I am overeating and I have a hard time getting back to a healthier frame of mind. That being said, my daughter's 1st birthday is this month and I am going to for the first time, try to continue my South Beach eating on her birthday and only have one piece of cake as my splurge. Hopefully I can enjoy that one piece and not turn it into days of overeating!

So maybe it would be best to just have a splurge meal instead of a whole day for Valentine's Day? Best of luck!

I've been calorie counting too, and I find that on the weekends when I have a higher calorie day (usually due to a restaurant meal), I find it really hard to get an accurate count which bugs me to no end. So instead of freaking out about it, I try to minimize the impact by cutting back a little the day before, the day of, and the day after.

For example, last night I went out to hibachi with my boyfriend and some of his friends. I had filet mignon, garlic noodles, fried ice cream and a few drinks. The best caloric approximation I could make was about 1,000 - 1,200 calories for just that one meal, but I banked 685 calories yesterday (adding extra exercise and calorie cut back) and made sure to keep the rest of my food yesterday light. I managed to come out even with just that little bit of extra effort, so that's the best advice I can give you on 'cheat' days.

I think, as many others have pointed out, that is you're truly going for a lifestyle change then you can't avoid situations where you'll go high calorie for a day or so. You can go into these instances with an attitude that you've done what you can to offset the impact, or you can allow yourself that one meal or day and then you have to really make sure that the next day you're back on plan. Whichever you choose, remember to enjoy Valentine's - it only comes once a year after all!

I think a cheat meal will be fine, instead of a whole day... For example, eat healthy breakfast and inch and then at dinner order what you want...

I think the advice given so far is really good, but I'd just add this: after being on a restricted calorie budget for so long, it may not even feel good to completely indulge. I know the longer I'm on plan, the worse junk food or stuffing myself tends to feel.

All this to say, that even if you plan to indulge that dinner, and your body starts telling you its not comfortable, don't feel obligated to keep eating because "you can."

Happy Valentine's Day!

What Kram said. I usually will eat fastfood or something once a week. I'm not for getting rid of everything horrible for me (usually if I do that I end up craving it more often than I should. If I have a craving I'll do something about it, but I won't over do it..) I also have enough control to not have to go out and get it every day. Valentines day sounds like a good day to endulge yourself, but not the whole day. Eat regular breakfast and lunch and when you go out to dinner enjoy it without being worry free is what I would do.

I'm on Weight Watchers. Each week we have our extra weekly points. I usually save most of them for one high calorie meal. So if my husband and I go out to dinner...I can typically have what I want...BUT...I have a really good and healthy breakfast and lunch. I woudln't make it a whole day. Anytime I do that...it turns into a couple of days...which is why I had the gain I had a few weeks ago. Live and learn though.

I can't do entire days. Fo me, it just completely negates staying on plan the preceding days. My first go-round with them was when I met DH. I had just hit maintenance and he just lost a lot of weight as well. He used Saturdays as "free" days and he would start with doughnuts and have pizza for dinner. After staying on plan all week I would just feel awful after putting that stuff in my body.

I don't really have "cheat" meals either. I know there are occasions where I will exceed my calories or go off plan, but I'm still careful. I recently cut out most of the sugar, processed carbs and fried stuff out of my diet and it made such a huge difference in not only how I lose weight, but how I feel every day. I know that eating certain foods (while they may taste great) will make me feel awful (I have pcos and those foods wreak havoc on my body), so I'm still taking that into consideration when I splurge. For example, I just got back from Mexico. I stayed at an all-inclusive resort and we ate in town as well. I knew I was going to partake in certain things (alcohol, honest-to-God mexican food, fresh seafood, etc...) and I knew I was going to enjoy it, but it still wasn't a free-for-all (and in fact, I came home 2 pounds lighter). I really had to step back from that mentality because frankly, I'm a binger. The same would hold true for other special occasions. I know that DH wants to take me out to dinner, that I will always have mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving and so on. I think it boils down to your own diet and why you've chosen to eat that way. I really have to be mindful of trigger foods, but that's me.

I don't think it's bad to go off-plan and hey, life happen, but I can't map out a binge, which is what adding the word "cheat" to a meal or a day means to me.

It really is about what works for you and what will help you to maintain this lifestyle long-term. If you just want to have a greasy burger once a month and you can keep it to a pre-determined amount of time and that helps you stay on plan the rest of the month, I say have at it.

One suggestion I will make though is that you can go off plan without totally wandering off the reservation. You can order a healthy dinner, but allow yourself dessert and/or a glass of wine. This works well for me. I will order a nice cut of steak and a glass of wine, but will have steamed veggies instead of mashed potatoes or fries or whatever. I find that I can still enjoy special occasions while keeping a healthy frame of mind.

After reading all these posts, I think it just totally depends on your will power & your body. I do a cheat day once a week, & have been able to maintain a steady 2lb/week loss. It helps me stay OP knowing that I can eat a cookie or whatever in just a few days. It doesn't mean that I'm throwing my diet out the window, it's just a reward. And I plan on doing the same thing when I hit my goal weight - I'll stay OP for 6 days & have a cheat day once a week.