I am having such a bad day. I am so mad at the world, no apparent reason really. I just feel like "why do I always have to watch what I eat?" "Why can't I eat and not feel guilty?"
Has anyone had one of those days?
I went to the gym today and worked out and have been OP but I feel so weak, mentally.
I just feel like there are people out there who can eat and enjoy food and never worry but I do. I always have to worry, I always have to count calories and fat.
Not expecting any answers I just need to vent.

How long have you been dieting without breaks? It's a good idea to give yourself a free meal or a free day every once in a while: some people do once a week, others once a month, others just special occasions. Regardless, if you know a free meal is coming, it often helps with diet adherence. And, after the free meal, you can jump right back on plan with a clearer mind and less resentment / grumpiness knowing that another free meal or diet break is on the horizon.

I can definitely relate---I always thought that I just had a super slow metabalism or something, but in reality, I think I am over-weight because I diet. Dieting/restricting, leads to resentment which leads to binging. Like Kaw said about, what works for me is that I am allowed one or two 'cheat meals' a week. This is not an all-out binge, but rather, I have a couple slices of real pizza, or I have the reeses pb cup, or whatever. I'm currently on WW, so they allow these weekly points, its about 1600 calories, so I can choose to eat that in one sitting or break it up over the week.

I read a Dr. Beck book that also suggested a similar thing, allow yourself 200-300 calorie 'treat' every day! That way, you never feel deprived, because you always have the next day to look forward to

Good luck, and hang in there, we all have bad days! --- oh, and good for you for exercising! That is a great way to fight bad days!

I can definitely relate. I've had days like yours that really tear me down. Even today while on the elliptical I was thinking "okay just 15 more minutes than your done....until tomorrow" and I began thinking about the fact that due to my own genetic makeup I'm going to need to watch what I eat and workout regularly for the rest of my life.
Its kind of intimidating but I like to take it one day at a time. Each day is a little triumph and I know I can do whatever I set my mind to.

I always feel this way. It's not about the weight so much as the sad mourning of a carefree attitude toward food. I just can't imagine going out to a restaurant, reading the menu, and going "oh that sounds good, I'll have one of those" without stressing about calories and sodium and the impact it will have on the scale. Less than a year ago I just didn't care. I really miss having the option of not thinking about the consequences of food.

On really terrible days I wonder if it's worth the 30 lb difference. I look much better now but I feel like I've aged 10 years and like I'm only halfway living my life, always worrying about calories and guilt etc.

I second the weekly/bi-weekly CHEAT MEAL advice! I've been doing it since Sept '10 and have lost plenty of fat and NEVER feel deprived...if I want to go to a restaurant or get my favorite take out....I CAN...just not every day..haha!

It may seem that skinny people just eat whatever they want whenever they want, but if you truly follow a skinny person around all day you'll see WHY they can eat more junk and not gain...they generally move alot, never seem to finish a meal...and eat very slowly. I used to watch my skinny friends to try and determine WHY they were skinny seemingly without any effort...and this is what I observed.

In any event...develop good habits and before long, you won't have to COUNT every fat gram and calorie and neither will you even have to weigh your food anymore. After 5 months...I've already graduated to not having to weigh my portions anymore...I use a scooper and my "eyeball" to measure it. Before you know it...you'll be able to judge appropriate amounts of food and go "off-plan" occasionally all while maintaining your FABULOUS new FIT Physique!!!

Remember...you don't have to PUNISH yourself to lose weight...substitution not deprivation is the name of this game!

Ugh: I have definitely have days like that. And I totally agree that a cheat meal or a daily "cheat treat" is a necessity in order to keep from going utterly crazy.

I do agree with joyfulloser that I don't think that there really are thin people who are able to eat with reckless abandon. I think that everyone who is thin actually works really hard to stay that way. I look around at the gym and the people who are really killing themselves on the treadmill or at the weights stations have some pretty killer bodies to go along with it!

I would also add some "tough love" logic that I read in a blog somewhere that really resonated with me: yes, tracking your eating and losing weight is hard, but gaining weight is hard too in terms of the emotional pain and some of the health/lifestyle challenges that eating with reckless abandon across a lifetime could bring. So your only choice is to "choose your hard!"

Not sure if that is really uplifting, but I do think that it is true. I wish I could remember where I found it so I could appropriately source it ...

I don't recommend cheat days or meals. I think the problem is more in the mindset than in the need to eat less to lose weight. Sometimes thinking about it from a different point of view may shed some light.

I stopped thinking about dieting as a horrible restriction that I had to fight everyday. I stopped thinking that someday in the future, I would not have to be so strict. These are all false premises and keep me locked into the wrong mindset. I also refuse to think of this as a "lifestyle change". Phoeey! lol

If I had a heart condition, I would have to take medication to prevent a heart attack. What good would it be to constantly fuss over the fact I had to take medication every day? What possibly benefit would I get if I was resentful that my friends and family didn't have to take the med? Acceptance and taking responsibility for my health is more important than fighting it is. I would have to adjust my life to accommodate my personal limitations in order to live the best life I can.

So I think of my issue with obesity and emotional eating problems as my health issue and there are certain steps I must take in order to control it. It takes learning to live with discipline and within the boundaries that keep me healthy and feeling great. If I don't, I can suffer the anger, resentment of being obese, I can accept feeling sick with bingeing, and watch my health decline over the years, as it actually has....I now have diabetes. At this point in my life, I base all my decisions on what makes me feel good. And I have to say, eating less and losing weight makes me feel great!

I think like you all the time! Maintaining for 18mo. is so hard, when dieting I never cheated, only ate my safe losing weight food. When the weight was gone, I began eating lots of junk uncontrollably 1 or 2 times per week. Took me the other 5 days to lose the weight I would gain. It worked for me to maintain like that but felt deprived the 5 days I was dieting. Experimented with so many ways to maintain and still eat my favorite junk food. No real discovery yet, I think it's so unfair sometimes, how people can just eat what they want & not gain weight. I will have to count calories and exercise forever, but it's just what I have to do.

Hi usam~

Maintenance is tough, isn't it? We were so sure that if we could just get here, we could do it easily.....but it's not all that easy. I mean, I already knew that going in. Had been there (here) and done that several times before. But was sure that this time, if I could just get here, I could easily do it. But it's always hard and I guess we have to figure out how to make it not so hard.

I wanted to chime in with martinimouse and say that I also don't think cheat days are a good idea......but then I see that martinimouse is a low-carb gal just like me. For us, if we take a little foray into high/higher carb territory, if even for just one day....it is very likely to send us down a bad road...a really bad road that we will seriously regret.....and just not worth it.

However......the calorie-counters can clearly do this and pull it off. HOW they do it, I have no idea....as it would be impossible for me. But if it can be done, they would have the secret to how to do it. For me....it's staying on the straight and narrow low-carb road. For me, a cheat day would be bad news but others who are able to do it successfully, could give advice on how to manage it. It's an absolute no-no for me and that's it.

I sometimes wonder if one of the problems is that it seems (looking back) to have been much more rewarding to have been heading TOWARDS a goal rather than to be simply trying to stay here now and not fall back again. The big thrill of the achievement doesn't seem to be as present with maintenance as it was when we were heading towards our desired goal. There is no more thrill of seeing the scale go down and down....seeing the clothing sizes getting smaller. NOW, it just seems to be trying to desperately hang on to what we achieved and trying not to lose it. Not nearly as much of a thrill as GETTING here was. Or so it seems, when we look back.

But our memories are selective. We tend to idealize the past and tend to forget the negatives that were there....and there were plenty of frustrations back then but we tend to minimize them and only remember the fun and motivation we had getting here...and wonder where in the heck it went.

So I try to stay in the same militant frame of mind I was in when I was getting here. My life is still all about carb grams and ketones. Sugar does not and cannot exist in my world...end of story. And for me, it's worth it to be able to stay here and not have to constantly stress-out about falling back again.

I couldn't agree more with the person here who said that the anger, frustration, fear and panic that results is just not worth eating whatever we want. We pay far more, emotionally, for those few minutes of indulging ourselves...and is just not worth the price.

And the reality is....that everyone else is NOT able to eat whatever they want. It might look that way, but if you look at the percentages of those (of us) who have serious weight issues and look at all the members here....it is clear that MOST of us can't do it. I think that there are far more of us who canNOT do it (and get away with it) than there are those who can. It's probably an illusion (or a delusion), for the most part.
It's kinda like the illusion of thinking everyone else appears to be happier than we are....when the reality is that most of us (probably all of us) live lives of quiet desperation.

deena

Truly wise words martinimouse!!! Your post just made me realize something really useful. A few weeks ago, I had 2 weeks with no weight loss and those nagging thoughts (you may be familiar with them) "why am I doing this if I'm not losing" and "this isn't working" were tempting me to cheat/binge/quit.

I stayed on course because I am eating healthy, not letting myself get too hungry (low carb -plenty of protein and veggies), I feel better and stopped obsessing over the scale. Sure enough, I lost a couple more lbs. even though i have been occasionally adding some good carbs when I feel the need.

My realization is that my current food plan is not just a means of losing weight -it is the way I need to eat even after I reach goal.

Thank you for helping me come to this realization and congratulations on your significant weight loss - the changes in your pictures are inspirational!

P.S. Usam -hope this mood passes and you get some much needed motivation/inspiration here to stay on course. It is so much more difficult to start over. Good luck - L.