Seven Stages of Grief: Mourning the Loss of my "Friend" Food

  • I am not stranger to grief, as I am sure none of us are. So I can easily recognize the signs as they start to appear. I was surprised to find that my old "pal" grief has cropped up again this week as I start my journey to a healthier me and give up all of those foods that I had grown to love.

    For those who haven't heard about the seven stages of grief they are: shock/disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and finally acceptance/hope.

    I have been cycling through the first few phases rather rapidly. As soon as I noticed this, I actually became rather amused at the thought. How did I let myself get to a point of such dependency on food that I actually grieve its loss? There has already been lots of emotional adjustment for me this week. I no longer have food to turn to when I am feeling sad, upset or downright pissed about anything. This is a good thing, as I am learning coping mechanisms that are not related to food. But it will sure make these first few weeks difficult.

    How has everyone else dealt with these emotional changes? Did you notice a difference in your emotions the first few weeks?
  • Quote: I am not stranger to grief, as I am sure none of us are. So I can easily recognize the signs as they start to appear. I was surprised to find that my old "pal" grief has cropped up again this week as I start my journey to a healthier me and give up all of those foods that I had grown to love.

    For those who haven't heard about the seven stages of grief they are: shock/disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and finally acceptance/hope.

    I have been cycling through the first few phases rather rapidly. As soon as I noticed this, I actually became rather amused at the thought. How did I let myself get to a point of such dependency on food that I actually grieve its loss? There has already been lots of emotional adjustment for me this week. I no longer have food to turn to when I am feeling sad, upset or downright pissed about anything. This is a good thing, as I am learning coping mechanisms that are not related to food. But it will sure make these first few weeks difficult.

    How has everyone else dealt with these emotional changes? Did you notice a difference in your emotions the first few weeks?
    Funny. I made this same connection early on, too. But what I grieved was cooking; not eating. I love to cook, and make pretty, healthy appetizers, and build stuff from the scratch I pick up in the farmers' market. But now that I'm retired I don't have the need to entertain nearly as much so going from mostly cooking for just me to practically no cooking was almost the last straw. I also love reading cook books and seeing what different cooking bloggers are up to. I gave that up, too, thinking it would make me want to eat.

    But here's what I've found. Reading and cooking never made me eat more before -- I'm not even a taster while I cook -- and I don't like sweet things much, so I never was a very good dessert maker. And that hasn't changed. Thank heavens. So I'm back to reading (and pretending) and I find it very satisfying and restful. Kind of like wallowing in infinity, there are so many potential variations and combinations. If, and only IF, you fit in this category, too, let me share the 25 favorite recipes of my favorite (simple, high plant-based and nutrition-minded) cook. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/26/dining/26mini.html

    And if you like this, you can luxuriate in his Blogroll. Eat well.

    N.b., many of Bittman's recipes are vegitarian or near vegan and can be used or easily adapted to become IP recipes.

    Edit: And Carla, check out the black cod recipe.
  • Oh Linden....see, I love to watch cooking shows and love to experiment....I however am a taster. So, I stopped watching them because I found myself rummaging in the kitchen. I have just stopped buying forbidden items...and when I do cook the naughty things my fiance wants...I only make enough for him. No snitching! Well, no whole bites! Lol!
  • Quote:
    Edit: And Carla, check out the black cod recipe.
    I must be doing something wrong. I can't see it!
  • I think I'm very close the the acceptance phase at this point. Emotionally, I still feel chronically pissed off because my food security blanket has been ripped from my hands. The way I deal with this is by treating myself like an addict and food is my drug of choice. I will no longer allow myself to hide from my feelings/emotions by stuffing my face (with whatever chocolate food I may have on hand). It's very difficult to experience emotions and stress and I'm still trying to find a balance in my day to day life. I also do a lot of "self-talk". I constantly remind myself that eating will make me feel good up until I've swallowed a whole bag of Oh Henry bites... then the guilt, anger, and self-hatred will take over.

    It's not easy but these strategies seem to be working for me. I had a big stress last night and am still coping with it today and it never even occured to me to stuff my face to cope... so I'd say that is progress.. lol

    So, you are not alone. I too mourn the loss of my BFFF!
  • Quote: I must be doing something wrong. I can't see it!
    Sugar! I don't know what I did wrong. here's the URL again and I hope it works. It's for all 25 recipes and links to 1,000 (literally) other Bittman recipes. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/26/dining/26mini.html

    Or another version:
    http://dinersjournal.blogs.nytimes.c...es/?ref=dining

    And if those don't work, maybe this won't either. But I sure hope it does. It's for the recipe itself:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/14/di...sh-better.html
  • Quote: I am not stranger to grief, as I am sure none of us are. So I can easily recognize the signs as they start to appear. I was surprised to find that my old "pal" grief has cropped up again this week as I start my journey to a healthier me and give up all of those foods that I had grown to love.

    For those who haven't heard about the seven stages of grief they are: shock/disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and finally acceptance/hope.

    I have been cycling through the first few phases rather rapidly. As soon as I noticed this, I actually became rather amused at the thought. How did I let myself get to a point of such dependency on food that I actually grieve its loss? There has already been lots of emotional adjustment for me this week. I no longer have food to turn to when I am feeling sad, upset or downright pissed about anything. This is a good thing, as I am learning coping mechanisms that are not related to food. But it will sure make these first few weeks difficult.

    How has everyone else dealt with these emotional changes? Did you notice a difference in your emotions the first few weeks?
    Boy can I relate. I manage by telling myself that "this too shall pass" I will not let my feelings control me. I will allow myself to feel them, accept them and move onto become the healthy person I know I should be