Emotional Incident Survival

  • I'm divorced since December 2010, separated January 2010. I was the one who requested it due to some dysfunctional mental health issues. It's amicable. But today when I saw my ex I feel confused and very sad. He dropped by my work to pick up a box of belongings that I had saved for him. We wish each other well. I know there is caring there. He was only here for a little while. I'm crying a bit. It hurts.

    I don't feel that this will effect my committment to my protocol today, but I feel very bad after seeing him. It's a good enough reason not to see him.

    I have a counselor that I have worked with for over a year to keep me pointed toward healthy choices. Something about this keeps hanging on. Yesterday I felt strong, sure, positive. After this what creeps in is doubt, uncertainty, confusion. Am I just still attached in an unhealthy, co-dependent way. It's difficult to admit that this may be what's happening.
  • Hi Fitme! Try searching online for "divorce support forum". There are a lot of online groups out there that may be helpful. It may be confusing every time you see him... maybe later you'll get back together, but for now concentrate on you. Be the best you - healthy and strong. I've always found exercise & healthy eating helps to keep my emotions level.
  • I can definately sympathize with you. I have been divorced from my ex for 27 years and now married to a terrific man for 23 years. I am going to have to see the ex in July at my son's wedding. I am trying hard to not stress over it. Everytime I've had to see him, it has thrown me into a tailspin. But each time the tailspin has been less. One of these days, I'm hoping to just see him for the pathetic soul that he is. To this day, I am still so thankful that I got up the courage to take the kids and leave.
  • Hi Fitme
    So sorry to hear of your dilemma. I can well understand your feelings having been thro' a similar experience myself. As time goes by you will find that the effects will gradually get less - the saying "time heals" is not strictly correct in my view but it certainly helps things to fade and the ability to cope will get stronger as you persevere in leading a life that is more suitable for you and with healthy eating and finding other interests you will soon be able to look back to this as a blip in your life.
    I wish you all the very best for the future...