Ok, I admit I have dieted for a long time on various low carb diets, Atkins, *******, South Beach. I was off South Beach for a month and I gained it all back and maybe them some, just because I indulged to the point of gluttony almost knowing I was going back onto my diet soon.

So I restarted yesterday but I happened upon one of the very basic ideas that seems to have sabotaged me from the beginning. If I don't see results, I want to quit. If I stall for any length of time I DO quit because the frustration outweighs the knowledge that I am eating better and moving downwards ultimately.

So how do I get over that? I'm odd I guess, there's no real reason for me to lose weight aside from health issues, my family, my career and personal well-being but for some reason, those don't seem to matter to me. I don't seem to have that personal fire I see a lot of people have when they are making a change for the better. Therefore I need the result of instant gratification to keep me going.

I don't know what I am asking I guess. I just wonder if there are people like me out there who don't feel inspired to lose weight but know I should.... other people who cannot seem to stick to a diet cause it's not producing results. I feel like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum when I type this I want it NOW!

I think we all have some of that inside of us, but to varying degrees. How about not weighing in anymore? Would that help you? That way, you'll just be plugging along and following your plan but you won't know where you're at. Then, maybe you can weight after a few months and you'll see (if you were on plan) that the weight loss is significant so it's worth doing. How about making the gratification BEING on the plan?

Just a thought.

It sounds like you pick plans with lots of rules and restrictions that you can't stick with. Why not pick a sensible, long lasting plan like Calorie Counting or Weight Watchers? A plan you can live with for the rest of your life.

You aren't going to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks, but you might lose 50 pounds in a year, and then more the next year, and actually keep it off because you are changing your lifestyle and habits not just looking for a quick fix.

The plans aren't sexy, but they work. One day at a time.

Oh holy cow I wish, but the control freak in me makes me weigh myself, weigh my food, track my calories, etc. If I don't do those I WILL overextend myself and underestimate what I've done to myself

When I am doing well, and I see results, all is well and I don't worry. It's when things start settling down is when I wonder how to get through it! I'm doing fine right now, but I wonder if I will EVER reach my goal.. I know myself too well

@seagirl

I like structure and being accountable. And don't want to pay for plans like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. I don't want to buy anyone's food, or pay for some bizarre injections (HCF, ugh). Atkins was the first for me and it worked to lose weight, failed at maintaining though. ******* worked but proved to be dangerous for me. South Beach seemed the more logical component to those two that worked for me.

I appreciate your time all, thanks!

Ok, so you are set on what you don't want to do to lose weight.

What do you want to do? What are you willing to do?

That's not a control freak. Take it from me, it's called OCD. You can do all those things without issue but you have to be careful; you can't do it to the point it takes over your life. Believe me, when I get stressed I become totally OCD. I have a tendency to have to have everything divided into baggies when I get like that. I also make sure everything in the fridge is all in little rows.

Sounds like, just like me, you could benefit from journaling. With journaling you can see your good days and your bad and get some free expression. Be careful not to be too hard on yourself or you will set yourself up for failure.

@Jessie
Yes, I pre-portion everything too

@seagirl
I want to lose weight and I can do so. I'm not really trying to set a negative tone. I wonder how everyone else who has been successful copes with stalling, accidentally cheating, and can keep on going without getting discouraged or frustrated.

What I CAN do, is cook for myself, start going to the gym, *attempt* to set min-goals for myself. I'm just worried about the fact that everytime I get going, I sabotage myself because I can't seem to keep my mindset. What do you do?

No, I don't mean pre-portion things. I mean I organize everything in baggies. I have all my cords in their own baggie. Hair ties get their own; clips get their own. When I buy Crystal Lite it has to go in a baggie. I have special bags for my earrings and each has its own. I don't do it with food I've made, I do it with things or self contained foods like condiments. One thing's for sure with me, I know where things are.

You have to remember this is a lifestyle change and a journey. You won't get there faster if your food is pre-portioned but it might give you peace of mind to do it. Start slowly or you'll burn out. And find a program you can work with that is reasonable and that you can live with for the rest of your life.

How about instead of doing "diets" just logging calories? You get the organization and measurement and numbers-punching bit, but you also don't have to spend a nickel on "materials" or meetings or anything. It sounds like you've been burning yourself out on yearning for miracle cures...easy to do for sure, but unfortunately weight loss is a slow and painful process that requires, above all, commitment over a long period of time.

Maybe you shouldn't focus so much on the long-term goal, which may seem far away, but set yourself mini-goals to reach and focus on beforehand. I know if I think about how many lbs I am away from goal, I can get very discouraged, but I try to just focus on my mini-goal of getting into the 150s, and when I get there, I focus on getting into the 140s, and so on until I reach my goal.

And, when you do reach those mini-goals, you should reward yourself. Obviously not with food, but maybe a new lipstick or nail polish, or a new book you've been meaning to read. Every step counts, and you should be proud of every step closer you get to your eventual goal.

@Jessie
I see what you mean I chose SB because it seems the most reasonable after the low-carb diets I've been on. Seems like the one that I would be able to sustain for a long time.
@krampus
Thanks for replying. I use My Daily Plate to keep track of my calories and keep an eye on my fat and carb intake. I use it to plan out my day and decide if what I think I want to eat would be worth it or not. Yes, a miracle cure would be awesome, wouldn't it? But I've been here long enough to know that it's gotta be all me, so when I fail or fall off the wagon, it's disappointing, and frustrating in my own lack of... stick-to-it-iveness?

@Celandine
I decided that an appropriate and hopefully attainable goal would be a loss of 10 lbs a month. IF I stick to it and keep going I would feasibly be close to where I want to be in a year's time, which is also when I graduate from LVN school. Both would be sooo awesome


To all- thanks for your input. I do appreciate your words and insights. I know this is something I need to do... and hope I find the drive that keeps me going. I was once at 176 on Atkins- the closest I'd ever been to my goal, and gave up cause nothing changed for a month. It seemed sooooooo difficult to keep plugging away at Atkins and not see any changes. That was years ago and I have since realized I was burnt out on Atkins. I remember when I went off I ate almost a whole bag of oranges within a few days cause I wanted fruit SO badly. Since I know now it was unreasonable to stay on that particular diet- especially for a lifetime, I am hoping that the "no whites" approach to dieting (sugar, flours, etc) will be something I can do

Well, I don't know if 20 pounds lost at a clip of about a pound and a half a week counts as success, but for what it's worth, I haven't had to cope with stalling, cheating (accidental or otherwise), or even much discouragement and frustration.

Those are things I used to try to cope with all the time because I was convinced that diets were binary: 0 or 1, failure or success, off or on. The truth is a lot more nuanced. Fast loss and slow loss are both types of success. So is no loss at all as long as I'm still adhering to my plan (I haven't stalled out yet, but I'm prepared for it if/when it happens). In fact, I've gotten so used to how I eat now that I would have to make a concerted effort to fail.

As for cheating, I count calories, so nothing is a "cheat." I aim for 1500 calories a day, but on Thanksgiving and Christmas I went to around 2000. It wasn't a cheat because it was still planned and measured and recorded; that's not cheating, that's choosing. Nothing's off-limits to me and there's no such thing as "bad" food, only stuff that's easier to fit into my plan and stuff that's harder to fit in. I learned from years of overly restrictive plans that they don't work for me, so now I'm doing something inclusive.

If you cook for yourself, you have it made. Think not of punishing restrictions and subtractions, but of additions. You aren't subtracting calories from your food, you're adding flavors you didn't usually add from wine, stock, sriracha, you name it. You aren't subtracting white foods, you're adding nutritional value by choosing less processed foods. You aren't losing dessert, you're gaining a soup course. The more I see my plan as an additive process, the happier I am with it. It's the first time in my life that weight loss hasn't felt like punishment, and being in charge in the kitchen has really helped with that.

I reread this like 10 times. I started out before Thanksgiving eating healthier and watching my portions. And as the weeks went on restricted more and more. Until the past week or so I've been eating a very restricted diet. And today I binged...I really feel tired and crumby (before I binged) and I know that over restricting (and it comes on slowly so I almost dont notice it) leads to me binging. And I know it doesnt work for me. I do eat out of bored and other reasons, but I know from years and years of diets, the more I restrict the more I want to binge on forbidden foods...I can not have "forbidden" food in my diet. I need to do as you described in teh rest of your post. (I know I only quoted one line.)
I guess because I been binging and what not today, your line really said a lot to me.

I'm only repeating what other folks who've been at this longer and with more dramatic success have said. It really resonated, and I'm still hearing the echoes.

It's hard to avoid the urge to restrict more sometimes. If you're like me, you're so used to feeling "punished" by a diet--almost as if misery were a prerequisite for success (and of course, success is only defined as immediate and drastic weight loss if you're in that mindset).

It has been so liberating to realize that it doesn't have to be punishment--that in fact, punishment is nowhere near as effective as encouragement.