I was talking with a friend this weekend about my weight loss, she's just starting her journey, but as she's comlimenting me and looking to me for advice we both kind of realized that I'm living in complete fear of regaining and losing myself to my binging disorder. I seem completely undable to be proud of what I've accomplished and satisfied with where I am. This really got me pretty depressed. I mean I should be thrilled with what I've done, I should stop comparing myself and my circumstances to others and live in the moment. If a regain starts, well then I know what to do about. I have accomplished something amazing.
But today, something terribly tragic happend to a friend of mine and my heart just breaks for him and it was something that again just reaffirmed that everything in life is so fragile and not guaranteed. It's really shaken me up and made me just afraid again, but on a whole other level that makes me want to turn to food for comfort. I won't, but that's not the point.
I don't know where it is I'm going with this post, I think I just needed to vent and though it out there that we need to all be so proud of what we've done and grateful for our maintenance and not let the fear control our emotions. Anyway, I'm going to start crying if I keep going and I'm at work so...I guess that's it for now.