I have stuck to my new healthy eating plan for a month now and have lost 15 pounds! This is the first time I have ever stuck to a "diet" and successfully lost weight.
The biggest realization I have had during my journey so far is how our culture surrounds itself by food. I cannot believe how big of a role food plays in how we spend time with our friends and family, show love to one another, and celebrate happy occasions. The social aspect of eating healthy has easily been the biggest obstacle for me. It was very hard to get it through my friends' heads that I am only eating healthy now. No, I can't order pizza tonight. No, I don't want to watch TV and pig out on chips, now move that bag away from me!
It is strange to see how people react when you say that you don't want to eat a particular food. People take it personally - sometimes to the point of being visually upset. There are even times when it seems like someone is bored when spending time with me because we are not eating junk food together.
It becomes more aparent to me that in order for me to be healthy, I have to deal with being different. I've already had a lifetime of being different - name any embarrassing symptom of being overweight and I gaurantee I've experienced it. Now it seems I need to embrace a new kind of different - at parties and get-togethers I'm the buzzkill.
It's a bit ironic that the hardest part of my plan is dealing with other people's issues with food and not my own! It gets easier and easier to say no to food, but it still hurts me to turn someone down. Why? Why do I feel like I am rejecting a friend when I say I don't want to order Chinese tonight? If there were ever an interesting sociology topic, this would definitely be one.

Anyone relate?

You're absolutely right. People do take it personally, but not all people. There are people out there who will not do this and if you find them, surround yourself with those people. Why do people do this? I think a lot of it has to do with endless brainwashing by the food industry. They want us to be addicted to these foods so they are cheap and readily available and there are lots of ways that they get their messages across from t.v., radio, ball games, even up at the bowling alley. I think a deeper reason is from childhood. A baby cries and the first thing it gets is food. A child falls down and scrapes their knee and they get a lollipop. Furthermore, the desire for food is intrinsic and it lies in the deepest, most primitive parts of our brains...the ones that don't require a ton of thought process...hence "mindless eating." So don't feel like you're doing something wrong for thinking this through. Maybe you can suggest things to do that don't involve food? Congratulations on your new life style!

Yes, it's happened to me, a lot. It's surprising too because all of my friends are thinner than I am and you'd think they would understand.

It took me a while but I see a pattern now. Some of them will eat super, scary healthy during the week (salads and more salads and only salads for lunch and dinner) and then on the weekends they want to have a "real" meal. They get disappointed that I am not going to eat with them at the restaurant or that I am bringing my own food to their home or whatever, because they were looking forward to really enjoying a meal together.

I've stuck to my guns so far and they are learning to adjust. In some ways, they've balanced out that desire to pig out on the weekends I think. At least I don't see them doing it as much anymore. Others started their own weight loss (to be even thinner!).

Yes, it's hard and it kind of sucks to be the "buzzkill" for now, but it dies away. People get used to the "new" you and then it just becomes normal and things adjust.

It just takes a while for that to happen.

Really astute observation! It's so true! I had the same issue when I quit smoking. Now I don't "eat", drink (during the week) or smoke so except for my close friends who are used to it, I'm a social misfit!

yes i know what you mean ans some times it can be peer pressure so well done for turning them down and making healthy choices. Well done for losing 15lbs thats fab

Congrats on the 15lb loss. I had the same experience the last time I was on a mission to lose. They just didn't understand why I couldn't eat the burger and cheesecake 'just this one time, it won't kill your whole diet just this one meal". I could never get my point across. So what I started doing was eating something super duper healthy before meeting them. That sometimes even involved eating an apple on the way there in the truck. Then when I got there I would be sure to drink at least a full glass of water before food came. Then I would eat something semi-bad but I'd be so full that I couldn't eat much of it. So I was still eating what they wanted me to and fitting in, but I was eating so little of the bad, that my good easily counter balanced it.

the more this happens, the more I relate what we go through to what alcoholics go thru. Buzzkill is the word. My husband recently chose to stop drinking alcohol, and people are simply mystified. They don't get it. They think they should be the people who determine if he has a problem with alcohol! And yes, they act personally hurt if he says no to a drink.
I do think they feel it means "they" must have a problem, or he thinks so.
I have gotten that too, about food. But more and more, people will accept that I am having a salad while they have fish and chips, and don't bug me.
It does get better. And its important to find a way to be social without overeating, because you still want to get out and play.
Good luck!

Thanks everyone for the responses so far. It was funny that I was thinking about this today because only a few hours after I posted this thread I encountered just one of these social situations I was talking about.

A co-worker was retiring today and we had a celebration with cake. I was asked repeatedly by two different co-workers if I wanted a piece. I politely decline and get the whole, "Oh, come on, have some!" routine.

I mean, I get it if someone gives me a second chance to say yes - sometimes people are just trying to be inclusive and polite. But to ask me over and over and throw in comments like, "it's just a small piece!" or "one piece won't hurt!" is just INVASIVE to my privacy. Ugh!

I have discovered (the hard way) that there are ways to turn down food that are seen as a challenge and ways that are better accepted. It helps if you say, once, that you would LOVE to eat [whatever], but you can't. It says "I'm not too good to want that". You don't want to go on and on about it (at that point, people wish you would just eat it), but saying "It looks delicious, I wish I could" makes you seem more human.

Flattery also helps (as it does with everything). If someone asks, "aren't you eating something?", respond with "Not today--but I'm so excited to see my friends". Or if they say "Want to go to [x] for lunch?", say "I've got to eat my packed lunch today, but I'd love to go along and drink a cup of coffee and talk to you."

Basically, people want to think you think they are cool, not that you think they are terrible pigs. Assuming these are people that you do like, and you do think are cool, let them see it. This doesn't fix the problem, but it helps a lot.

Shmead - Thank you so much for that advice. I honestly never thought about saying something like that. I will definitely use that in the future.