My subject line sounds like an Oprah episode. LOL Seriously though, I've heard somwhere that you shouldn't wait until you lose the weight in order to do what you want (ex. buy THAT outfit that you've always wanted to buy, go out with dates with guys that you are actually attracted to because you feel "pretty" instead of frumpy, ask for the promotion, start your dream career, take classes that interest you.....and just live a happy life, etc?). Soooooo how do you get yourselve motivated to do all that before you actually lose the weight? I admit that I feel comfortable staying at home behind my computer rather than going out on dates and/or doing something out of my comfort zone because I haven't built up self-confidence due to weight gain. Any advice from those of you who haven't reached their goal weight yet (and aren't anywhere near their goal weight) yet are living their life to the fullest?

I'm not at goal yet but I have been, or nearly, twice before.

What I'm going to do/started doing already is put as much thought and planning and research into creating the life I want as I have done into losing weight.

There are plenty people far fatter than me who have fulfilled lives on every emotional level, so it isn't just FAT that makes the difference, it's me. Me thinner will still be Me, so I'm going to put some hard work into becoming the Me I want to be.

At the risk of sounding like a morbid creep, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Putting off life is generally never a good idea. Confidence doesn't pop out of holes in the ground, but I think you'll find it goes way up when you figure out what it takes to successfully lose weight.

Also, you don't have that much weight to lose. Stay committed to losing and 40 lbs can come off in well under a year.

Interesting. I guess I always did live that life without really realizing it. Dating was a long drawn out story that really isn't the point of this thread. But the rest of it, buying that dress, starting the dream career, taking classes, being happy...I did all that even at my heaviest. But my ideal life was quite different and I definitely was not participating in that. I couldn't enjoy myself at an amusement park because I couldn't fit in the rides. I developed anxiety in crowds because I felt like I was in the way and didn't belong. I couldn't slide into booths anymore and hated how close the booth was to the table. I couldn't enjoy a buffet because I was sure people equated my weight with the fact that I ate there. In those ways I did not enjoy life.

I have no advice except that judging your by your stats I hope you learn to embrace your beauty and your health and start living your life!

I LOVE this topic!

I am ALL about living life to the fullest and this past year has been me doing just that! I think every year of my life has a theme and this year's theme was about loving myself and just knowing I have the power to have what I want, be who I want, do what I want and no other person can do that for me or give me that.

With that said, I definitely want to lose weight and envision myself being at my new weight; but I ENJOY myself how I am. I think that takes a lot of pressure off because I don't feel like I am a prisoner and I have to countdown on the scale to be "released" so to speak. No one knows what will happen in the next hour much less the next week or months, so it doesn't make sense to put certain things off when you CAN do it today. I have learned to have gratitude for what I DO HAVE versus what I don't while working towards what I want. I don't have the body I envision as yet, but I do have awesome breasts, great legs, beautiful eyes, a great smile, nice hair, pretty hands and I am darn funny and incredibly smart! I ROOOOCK those qualities! I embrace myself as is and others embrace me too. To be honest, one reason I didn't care to lose that much weight was because I felt incredibly confident and beautiful and I felt like I always received attention from men when I was out and about so I figured, I must be hot stuff! LOL. I attended a tier 1 university, I traveled the world, I am proceeding in the direction I want for my career, I set intentions and they came true, so I felt great!

I think when you start appreciating things now and start venturing out now, when you do get to where you want to be it will be icing on the cake! I think a lot of times people aren't happy and try to substitute other things for it, then realize when they get that thing (the great body, the bf, the new shiny car etc) NOTHING changes and they are still unhappy and the whole thing feels like an anticlimax. I fear that. I fear living so much waiting to lose weight to be happy or live my life that I waste soooo much time and then when I finally get to my goal weight...I am STILL unhappy and not well adjusted. It all starts with a HEALTHY attitude and everything else falls into place.Without that you could have the fittest, hottest body, and it won't make any difference.

Play up your good physical and non physical qualities, get a pedicure, do your makeup, get a hair cut, buy some cute shoes, hang out with friends, plan a trip...DO THINGS!That's what I do. I even envision myself as the slimmer sexier me as I go about my life, and so I actually act like it and I think it works!

I find that to live the 'best life', you have to remind yourself every couple of hours: "If I want to live my best life, then what do I do next?"

And, maybe instead of watching a TV show alone, you will decide to meet up with friends for a coffee.

Or, maybe you will decide to do something else that makes you feel better than watching a TV show.

I know, sounds silly, but I really think that you need to constantly remind yourself until it becomes natural..... sort of like eating healthy.

Two steps -

1. Figure out exactly what your "ideal life" is. This isn't the same for everyone, so don't assume that just because someone else says you should be more social, date more, etc, that that's automatically right for you. What do you want to do with your life? What activities would you do if money/time/weight was no object? Spend some time really picturing yourself living this "ideal life" and see what it involves in your mind.

2. Break down the things you come up with in your visualization into small, measurable goals. Saying "I want to be more social"' isn't small or measurable, so instead, set mini goals, like "This month, I'll call schedule one movie date with a friend," or "This week, I'm going to register on one dating website and email four possible matches."

Weirdly enough, it's a lot like losing weight - saying that you just want to lose weight isn't usually enough to make it happen. You make mini-goals, track calorie numbers, etc - so try to apply the same thing to your personal life

we're almost the same height. since i haven't been this shape/size/normal looking in YEARS, i'm sooo thankful. i may never get to 150. i may never be that HOT mom. but if i can get this far, i can do anything! i'm so much happier with myself. as much as i complain about my legs, i wear shorts all the time. (inside it's winter) figuring out a plan, executing it, gave me so much confidence. maybe think about what you ENJOY. what do you love? then do that. and try to love yourself. you're awesome!