I apologize, I know sometimes I use this forum as sort of a personal diary and maybe that's insensitive and inappropriate, but it's really the only place I have to turn for support.
I think my issue is probably that I'm not eating back my exercise cals and as a "dieter" of 4+ years it's hard to accept that if I want to keep up my fitness level I'll have to likely eat more, especially when I see so many maintainers eating in the 1400-1600 range. Maybe this is a better post at runner's world or something. I guess I'm also concerened that I'll get my cals up high enough and then get injured or have to cut back my exercise for some other reason and cutting the cals back to compensate would be very difficult. I guess you can't have it all can you...
I hope that I didn't offend you, and I'm not complaining about losing a few more lbs, I'm actually concerned about finding the maintenance sweet spot and worried that the level I'll have to eat to maintain my weight will trigger old habits (especially with a history of binging). I mean how many veggies can one person eat to fill up those needed cals? I already eat lots of healthy fats - nuts, avocados, flaxseed and plenty of whole grains. I've even incorporated whole grain pasta into my diet on the nights before longer runs.
And while I'd love love love to be in the 130s, I can't afford the tummy tuck it will take for me not to have the body image issues that will come with that. So I guess I just need to shut up and eat more

But is there another way? Yeah, exercise less...ok so there's no good answer to this...again, using this forum as my personal diary.
Anyway, my apologies again...