I've always had to work hard to maintain my weight, but recently have allowed myself to gain about 10lbs in order to be a bit plumper and make it easier to conceive. At my lighter weight I didn't always have regular periods, although I wasn't underweight. So at the advice of my doctor I've put on an extra layer
. But since reaching my healthy maintenance weight a week ago, I'm struggling to stay there. In a way it is my worst fear when I allowed myself to gain: I'm not able to stop gaining. Yesterday, for example, I resolved to eat "clean" all day, but never really felt satisfied. It might have been worth it except this morning I weighed myself and was a full 3lbs heavier than the day before! What fun. Some of this might be extra roughage from all those veggies
, but this is unsettling nevertheless. It was much more fun being on the weight-gain free-for-all. Now I feel like maybe I expanded my stomach so much those few weeks that I need to go on a Slim-fast type thing for a while until I'm back down to the goal weight. To add to the struggle, I am at home with two little kids, so I'm either constantly preparing food or cleaning up. There is a constant temptation to snack or clean the kids' plates. I'm sure there are many others who are at-home with this same sort of challenge.
I'm sorry if this post sounds annoying since I'm not grossly overweight, but I would still welcome your support about maintenance at goal weight. I wanted to think I could eat more at this higher weight, but it seems like I still need to keep constant vigilance and not overeat. I'm feeling frustrated and a little nervous, and also wishing that I were pregnant so I could justify gaining weight and eventually have breastfeeding to help me lose weight. Right now I feel sort of fluffy and empty simultaneously, for having gained and not yet pregnant.
Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement.
