Anyone else here in that boat?

Not currently, but I did go through it with baby #2. It really took me for a loop since I had no issues with baby #1.

Please take care of yourself, & talk to your friends and family so they can keep an eye on you. It will pass, but you don't need to suffer needlessly and put yourself (or your baby)at risk.

For me, it didn't really pass until 2 months after I stopped breastfeeding (I nursed my 2nd for 13 months, so I lived with it for over a year). I wished I had gotten some help, but it was only in hindsight that I realized what had happened.

Take good care of yourslf. And congratulations on your baby!

I think, support from husband and family to prevent the occurrence of blue baby syndrome or postpartum depression

Thanks Yes, it hits by surprise eh? I had it pretty bad in the beginning (my son had colic, reflux, and was injured in the labour), and then it seems to come and go. Last night was a rough night. Anything that reminds me of the first few months gets me really sour. It doesn't really interfere with my eating habits but it does cause problems at home.

Sacha - I think that the ebb & flow makes us feel like we have it under control. However, if you feel it is making things harder than they already are with (life with an infant - - especially one with reflux/colic, as I know, too - - is NOT EASY), then please seek out help. You do not have to suffer through this. It isn't a matter of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps or "snapping out of it" as some people will make you think. This is a hormonal imbalance that affects how our brain is sending & receiving signals.

You are not weak, you are not a bad mom/wife/person, you are not self-absorbed (I think I hard all of those things from myself or from others), you are dealing with a REAL illness.

I don't know your situation, so perhaps I'm over-reacting. I just know how difficult the PPD was for me & I'm still dealing with the ramifications now. It actually spurned on a major depression for me later, which I'm working to come out of. I thought I was losing my mind - I actually believed I was having a nervous breakdown (and who knows, maybe I was). I should have sought out help earlier.

Sending you hugs & encouragement. I'm sorry that those early months were so difficult for you & your baby. Being a mom is hard - it leaves you so emotionally raw in ways that no one can prepare you for. But those tender moments that come around every so often will remind you that it is 1000x over worth it!

When I had my daughter I had pretty bad depression for the first few months. My husband was in Afghanistan so I took care of her on my own and would get random thoughts that my daughter didn't like me and I TRULY believed it. Hormones do some crazy things but don't just try and ignore how you feel in til it goes away. It wasn't until I started talking to my mom and telling her the things that were going through my mind that it finally stopped. Good luck to you and remember you are definitely not alone and that holding in your thoughts and feelings could be dangerous for you and your baby!!

Being a mom is tough but very much worth it

I had terrible PPD with both of my children. I remember crying when I took my 2nd one to the Pediatricians for the 1st time. Her advice....."one day you will look back on this and won't even remember being sad". WTH??????????????

I feel your pain. I suffered in silence.

There is so much more recognition and treatment recently and so many women have come to admit that they too suffered. Know that you are not alone and even coming to boards like this and knowing that others have been in your same spot could help.

People care......you are not alone!

I suffered from PPD really bad with my second. I think it was brought on by our first being injured in labor and having to go through 13 months of physical therapy to lift her left arm after suffering 7 years of infertility followed by 5 misscarriages in 3 years.

I didn't get depressed after having her because of all we went through to get there, but when she was 10 months old we got pregnant again and were thrilled. I planned a c-section to avoid another birth injury, but life conspired against me and my youngest was born with a medical problem that required surgery once she was old enough to safely undergo it. To top it all off I was laid off from my job while 28 weeks pregnant and my due date was the first month school would be back in session (so many schools did not even consider me because they would need a sub the first nine weeks of school). I had to take the first job offered in a city an hour away and in a bad neighborhood where they gave the "new" girl the students who had already failed the class once or twice. I got more and more depressed and thought I was crazy after she was born. I cried all the way to work. When I was home I just wanted to cuddle with my girls and lock the whole world away. I resented anyone who came over to visit and just wanted to be left alone. I realized my emotions were not normal and got really scared when the ride to work escalated beyond tears to "I wonder what would happen if I just drove into that tree, I wouldn't have to go to that **** on Earth school anymore." I daydreamed about dying because it felt like it would be better than my life away from my family.

I finally told my husband hoping he would not hate me. He understood and called my OB/GYN. He set up an appointment and I told her everything. I did not hold anything back. She hugged me and told me that I was brave to tell her and that it was PPD. She worked with me to help me get well and while I was on meds she saw me often just to chat. I thought telling people would make me week, or a bad mom etc... But in reality, I was trying to deal with hormones, depression and anxiety about my daughter's surgery and guilt and betrayal that after our long journey to have a child both deliveries did not go as expected. I was overjoyed that we have our two miracles, but still could not shake the depression on my own. Please do not be afraid to discuss your feelings with your health care providers and family. PPD is a serious condition and can be treated.

I won't lie, my youngest was a good year old before I started feeling like myself again. Taking charge of what I could control in my life (such as quitting my job and taking the time to find a school I did love, and setting one day a week aside for visitors) helped me regain my mental equilibrium and I took xanax only when I felt a panic attack coming on and for other stressers that were out of my control.

(((hugs))) You are not alone.

sacha - I'm a little late with the comments, but just wanted to offer up a ! I teetered between PPD and full-blown psychosis for about 12 weeks and it scared the daylights out of me. Hormones ... I have tremendous respect for them! When I hear about moms doing fatal damage to themselves and/or their babies, I get it. I know the scenario. In between hallucinations and fantasies about killing myself, my son, and as many people around me as possible, there was always just *one* little molecule of sanity clinging with fingernails, getting me through minute by minute. DS's pediatrician told me to mark 12 weeks on the calendar from the date of his birth, and just concentrate on getting there. More than once, I sat in front of that calendar for hours. Be it a subsiding of the hormones, or the victory of surviving that 12 weeks, I don't know ... but it did get better. Scary stuff. I really want to believe that that little spark of sanity would have stepped in if necessary - one of the "outs" absolutely must be the one where you can ask for help if it gets too deep and too dark. Tom Cruise aside (the moron), this is a nasty chemical imbalance, and there are very effective methods to help you get through it. It is NOT a weakness, and it doesn't have to be a hellish time. Best wishes!

Hi everyone

Thank you for the support. I recently joined a gym with great childcare and it is making a huge difference. I'm not sure if it's the exercise, or the one hour to myself (it's probably both), but it really does help.

I have good and bad days. More good than bad now at 5 months (0-3 months was **** on earth). Sorry to hear you have all been through it as well but it's nice to know that it is something very normal average women get