I have recently come to the conclusion that I'm an entitlement eater. As in "I worked 8hrs, commuted 3hrs, therefore I deserve to eat two bowls of pasta." I need to get over the hard work = cookie mentality. However, considering the food = reward/joy/celebration dynamic has be instilled in my brain since childhood, I am having a hard time shaking the mentality.

I am sure some of you have confronted this issue and I need a bit of advice in overcoming it.

Thoughts??

I am anxious to see responses to this question myself. I have recently realized that I, too, have this SAME mentality. I loose weight, I reward myself with (wait for it!) FOOD! MESSED UP! <shakes her head>

You need to start thinking and realizing that you are entitled to optimal health. That you are entitled to be the best you possible. That you are entitled to more energy, stamina, productivity, femininity, self confidence, self respect, self worth, pleasure, happiness, peace, comfort, joy, less worries, less anxiety and a huge smokin' hot wardrobe!

I needed to separate my food from everything else. EVERYTHING ELSE.

My food is my food. What I eat is what I eat and it has ZERO to do with anything else going on around me. Doesn't matter if I'm tired, happy, sad, lonely, bored, excited, happy, relieved, relaxed, celebratory, whatever.

I map out my food schedule IN ADVANCE, knowing where each and every bite, lick, taste, crumb and sip is coming from. There are no surprises, no changes, no deviations. This was/is a huge key for me. Like all things that are important and matter, I've got to put pre-thought into it. I've got to plan it out. I can't imagine where I'd be without it. Certainly not at goal for over 3 years.

I've basically automated my food. I eat this, this and this. Period. I stay away from that, that and that. It's automatic, natural and habitual to me. I've created a new normal for myself.

But you're not there yet. But you will be - eventually. You've got to push through the early stages when it IS uncomfortable getting used to doing things differently. Make it easier though - I urge you to plan out your foods and keep them totally separate from everything else around you. Events, situations, every thing and any thing. The key again, is planning. It is much easier to stay on plan when you've got one. A good, solid, sensible, delicious healthy plan to stick to and strive for.

You'll get there. As hard as it is to imagine, you can break these habits and form new healthy ones. And once established, healthy habits are just as hard to break.

That being said, what is your plan? How are you going about taking off the weight? What's your strategy? What's your mode of attack? Keep in mind, that healthy eating won't happen on it's own. It won't happen by chance. You can't wing it. You'll need a definite plan and strategies to keep you on plan as you make the transition into that healthy, fit person.

I just wanted to add that I struggle with that too. I've never been an emotional eater, but I've always been an "I've-had-a-hard-day-I-deserve-food" eater. I'm trying to break the habit and, as the previous poster suggested, replace that thinking with "I deserve to be healthy and happy". I remind myself that long after the frustrating day has passed, the extra calories and pounds still remain.

Rockinrobin...I read your link "An idea of what my plan looks like" and I'd love to pick your brain! So many questions! If it's alright by you, I'd love to send you a private message

I have certainly had that way of thinking. Like Robin, I started thinking that I am entitled to good health. I adjusted my thinking from "after a full day of work, and a long commute, I am entitled to XYZ food (usually sweets or high carb)" to "after a full day of work, and a long commute, I am entitled to
*a long walk
*a healthy meal
* some quiet time

I am entitled to something that will make me a better person, not something that is going to hurt me in the long run.

I just kinda came to this conclusion about myself. I would do well all week until Friday where I would think woo hoo I made it through the week and I can reward myself. I'm eating healthy for the most part, but its something I need to desl with.

I don't think that's going to change overnight I changed my weigh in day from Friday to Saturday. I only weigh in once a week. It mentally forces me to skip the rewarding (Friday seems to be my "reward" day). We'll see how it works out.

Here's my take on it, off the top of my head. If you work on a farm and get up at 4 a.m. and do hard physical labor for the next 12 hours or so, then maybe, maybe, you are "entitled" to eat more. But, as rockinrobin and others have said, it's because you're entitled to be healthy, not because you have been a good girl or boy and get a reward.

I was trying to make the point in another thread that the "treat mentality" is probably one of the biggest downfalls of people trying to lose and to maintain. Linking food with good behavior, getting through the work day, fun, and so on is a recipe for disaster for people who have a weight problem. (And that includes maintainers.)

I'm not saying that food shouldn't be enjoyable--that we only eat to live. Obviously there is room for delicious food in one's plan. But that has nothing to do with "deserving" to eat some food! I have to shake my head when someone says they had a "treat meal" at a junky fast food place. Why? Why??

Jay

My mother used to treat me with a chocolate bar after swim practice. Isn't that terrible?

I grew up with food being used as a reward, as a prize, and as a way to celebrate anything.

What I've had to do in the last year or so, is change how food = reward. Part of changing that association was to say no to celebrations with food. When I would go to a birthday dinner/party, I went to celebrate the PERSON, not the FOOD. I didn't have to eat the food or drink the wine!

For me, I also had to look at my food plans and figure out why I was having those cravings. For me, it was my insulin resistance that set me up to fail. When I would get home, starving, there was no way that I could resist that gigantic bowl of easy to make pasta because my blood sugar was low and I knew the pasta would taste so good. I had to work on the body chemistry (and PLANNING) in order to begin to say no to those "treats" after a long workout or a long day.

I started asking myself, "Am I hungry? Or am I trying to reward myself?" Becoming more aware of what I was doing didn't necessarily stop me from eating, but it made me AWARE of what I was doing until I was ready to make that change and choose something healthy or eat when I'm hungry.

This is hard for me too. I KNOW what's right. I KNOW everyone's advice in this thread is spot on. But I still feel entitled at the end of the day. My biggest knee jerk reaction is "Phew, that was hard! I need chocolate!" But I've recently cut chocolate out of my life. (Yes, I did it folks! ) Since doing that, I no longer have that reaction. I used to have the reaction that it was a hard day, so I deserved/needed a Coke. I haven't had a sip of Coke in almost a year!

When you cut sugar out of your diet, it can not be used as a reward.

That's my biggest saving grace right there. There's no thinking about it.

I try now to feel entitled to a dip in our hot tub instead. It has the same "ahhhh" feeling, but it lasts longer and the feeling of serenity continues a few hours after getting out.

I think this is a common issue for people! Especially when I lose weight I really start in on doing this. When people start commenting like "hey have you been working out?" and "wow your looking slimmer". Which thank goodness, people were saying to me all weekend at work. Problem is that this is whenit gets dangerous. I hear I'm looking good. And I start to think "I don't need to worry about eating this cause I'm looking good". But this is where the weight gain always starts!
My solution? Focus on healthy. I am still going to stay inside my calorie allotments, but I want to ensure I am eating more raw fruits and veggies. I have been eating alot more sugary and salty junk food. And rather than obsess about calories and go hungry because I made poor choices, for one week focus on no alcohol or junk food. Just seven days. Hopefully it will be a good start to keeping the "I earned eating what I want" mentality at bay!

This is a struggle I have, often combined with "out" food.
I see a loss and deserve to get lunch out, or that little bag of chips, or the box of crackers.
During my last run, I thought about the watermelon in the fridge at home. I knew that when I got home, I'd have some, it would taste so good and refreshing after I worked so hard!
To get out of the gym, I have to pass an Emerald Smoothie counter (walked right past). Got off the highway and saw Jack in the Box. I thought, I've been doing really well, I could get some cheese sticks.
No. I visualized the watermelon. That's what I want, that's what is on plan, and in the end, that's what will make me hit more goals and won't send me in a depressed spiral of pity eating. I drove past JitB.

That's how I deal with it. I keep healthy food that is on plan and that I love in my kitchen. I deal with those urges on a one on one basis. I "treat" myself with good choices. When I do eat out, I try to make it somewhere controllable, like a bowl of pho or a subway sandwich. I use my smartphone to look up restaurant menus and nutritional information in the parking lot.

I'm also on a tight budget so I tell myself;
5 fast food meals cost the same as a day at the hydrotherapy spa.
3 boxes of crackers cost the same as a pair of pants
etc, etc

This is hard for me. I feel like I deserve food to celebrate, mourn or entertain myself.

I just have to constantly have a dialogue in my head about how I am really hurting myself with that behavior.

Sigh... I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. It's insane how much food was used as a reward when I was a kid. I have to admit I don't eliminate it entirely if we want to celebrate but I try and pick good choices. For instance, when we want to celebrate we'd go out for coffee instead of having it at home (we're cheap but love starbucks so that's our celebration :lol). I drink it was just lowfat milk and no sugar so it's not like I'm adding in a ton of calories doing that.

We also make go out to eat but to a restaurant that we know has healthy meals. One of our favorites is a local Japanese place that has lots of fish and great soup! I've also eliminated many of my go-to foods that would have been my rewards previously (anything with sugar and no bread). We still do birthday "cakes" but I make it myself with agave nectar so I know exactly what's going in it and in what amounts. It takes us at least twice the amount of time to eat stuff like that than it did before. I made cheesecake from a recipe I found here for DH's birthday and it took us 5 days to finish it off when before it would've been 1-2! It helps that agave nectar doesn't seem to make my blood sugar spike so I don't get mad cravings for 20 pieces in a row.

ETA: Another I grab often when I eat out is fruit. Many times you can find a nice mixed fruit cup with just fruit (no yogurt, sugar etc in it) and since I don't have to prepare the fruit myself it's still a treat to me.

Entitlement eating is what made me gain 2x the amount of weight I should have when pregnant. People look at you like you are nuts if you refuse cake, chips, whatever when pregnant, so of course I told myself "Oh, it's just going to the baby" ~ erm yes, the first 25lbs did but the other 20 didn't!!!!

That was a good lesson - never again.